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Milk me

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Edited by Martin Cadwell, Thursday 26 March 2026 at 14:53

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[ 6 minute read ]

Parasite or milking Farmer?

It doesn't seem very long ago that I had a strong standpoint on promoting oneself. (I was about to continue the sentence with 'in public' because the sentence, to me feels incomplete, but it isn't). Social protocol and introductory salutations were always a problem for me; do we say what we do, or are good at or not?

     'Hello. Pleased to meet you. I am a doctor in Physics'

     'Oh, yes. Hello. I am a plumber.'

     'Ah. Interesting. Do you work locally?' (No doubt I shall have use of a local plumber one day)

     'Yes, I live around here.  (I doubt you can help me with anything).

There is an imbalance. The physicist is useful, but not directly to their community. The plumber, on the other hand, is eminently useful. I am in complete agreement with myself in thinking that all tradespeople should promote themselves and be proud of what they do. They are builders, while many other people are merely hangers-on; but not to the coat-tails of the tradespeople or fabricators of society.

I think in West Germany strangers when they met would introduce themselves by name and profession. I may be wrong. It may have been a twee idea I read in a picture book on learning German. You know how some of the phrases are stilted. In truth, when I worked in Germany, I never met anyone who told me what they did. There is a part of me that wouldn't mind if people in the UK did state their job as part of their introduction. Fat lot of chance of that happening; I have had conversations with strangers for over an hour and not even learnt their name. Asking someone's name is like asking for someone else's telephone number if you are attracted to them. It means I hope we meet again. It no longer means, if we meet again I should be pleased to be polite and use your name.

Consider this:

     'You, yes, you, take my bag, would you?'

     'Yes, Guv.'

And this:

     'Hello again, I believe we met some time ago.' (You were so insignificant to me I didn't bother offering my name to you, or accord you any civility in asking you yours.)

The latter greeting is no more polite than the former. But why? In both cases the initiator is in need of something, physical labour in the first, and mental stimulation in the second. An attitude of greater-than-thou, or mightier in some way, is clearly evident because names are not considered to be important and so there is no personal approach. In both cases the meeting has an element of parasitism. We are all parasites in many respects. I can heat my home because someone else has done some work and thinking in the past. But that is a result of people specialising in a job role, and is indicative of a former meritocracy. Someone, long ago, in the dark Winter nights, when no more fieldwork could be done due to the darkness, made an extra pair of boots by candlelight, and their neighbour liked them, and because they were better made then anyone else made in their community, bartered for those boots. Blacksmith, thatcher, cobbler, they all arose through meritocracy.

Do we expect that the tanner in the same village would give away the best pieces of leather to the cobbler, so the whole community could wear good boots? Did the blacksmith shoe horses and forge iron for nothing so the village could thrive; so farmers could get to markets, and tools could always be on hand? 

No, that is communism or, more kindly, altruism, and thriving would only mean self-sufficiency, because if it means thriving in a competitive market there is going to be a metric of some kind, and I strongly suspect it would be in the form of banking; either a harvest, storing fat on the body, or a universal currency; money.

     'It takes a village to raise a child!' Yes, the hunter teaches basic rabbit-skinning skills; the farmer teaches basic food production skills and how to predict weather; and the potter teaches basic clay manipulation skills (removing air pockets before firing).

Modern life in 2026 has the internet and YouTube videos to teach us those basic skills albeit in a classroom and not 'in the field'. When someone introduces themselves as a teacher of young people what should we do? Give them all the knowledge we have despite the possession of that knowledge being the only thing that makes us worthy of a wage? Despite having spent years honing our skills and distilling information down to useful and pithy tips, we should give it away to teachers? Schoolteachers today are paid the same universal currency that we all are. If we could see into the future and see the financial damage we might do to ourselves if we give away material that should have been copyrighted, would we, when we meet a schoolteacher suddenly clam up about what we do? Are schoolteachers parasites that will take knowledge from people they meet and sell it to someone else, albeit with the payment coming indirectly? Those questions, I feel, are a clapper on a cracked bell for many people. They are discordant and terrifying.

     'Hello. My name is Martin. I am writing a book on inventions that have not yet been constructed or implemented. The book has a section on good ideas too.'

     'Hello. I am an inventor. I have some ideas and inventions that no-one has heard about. Would you like me to tell you about them?'

     'Oooo, yes please!'

     'Will you get some kind of reward, money, fame, or something when you publish your book?'

    'Well, yes, I will be considered by my professional community to be eminently useful and I shall make some money.'

     'What will I get?'

     'You will have helped society, of course. It takes a village to raise a child, you know?'

     'Do you consider yourself to be a milker or a parasite?'

     'Good day to you. I feel an important appointment is looming elsewhere.'

     'Well, that is what happens if you moo a lot. You should expect to be milked.'

Like I said, many philosophers state that altruism only exists when it comes to raising our own children. Sacrifice, that is.

If a schoolteacher DOES NOT reveal that they are a schoolteacher, are they being deliberately false, because they intend to parasitically milk information from unsuspecting others and use it for their own advancement?

It is only a thought-experiment that has no resolution in my mind today. It is however, a child of considering cyber-security and fraud.

You can read edgier posts on some similar subjects (though not necessarily this one) on my own website  martincadwellblog.hegemo.co.uk  (opens a new page). Or my site, hegemo.co.uk for my viewpoint on mental ill-health (opens a new page). Look for the tabs at the top of the site, which you may have to drop down. I don't write on there very often though, about once a week or so.

Learn how I introduce and describe a character by getting another character to do it: https://www.hegemo.co.uk/creative-writing/

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Parent - Child

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Edited by Martin Cadwell, Saturday 17 January 2026 at 18:41

All my posts: https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/view.php?u=zw219551

or search for 'martin cadwell -caldwell' Take note of the position of the minus sign to eliminate caldwell returns or search for 'martin cadwell blog' in your browser.

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Transactional Analysis

[ 4 minute read ]

       'Don't threaten me! I know Transactional analysis! At least some of it. 

There are weird roadworks in my neighbouring village. There are oval-shaped loops that reach across both sides of the road, where the workers have dug it up and then refilled and resurfaced it. They have also put in some pedestrian crossings. I asked the shopkeepers wife what she thought the loops are. (Speed Humps have covered these looped road works completely).

       'I don't know' she said, 'They are putting in two crossings'. Well, you never know, I thought.

   

       'Yeah, I have seen where there are raised beds where the crossings will be.'

       'Raised levels,' she said. 'Raised beds are in gardens,' she said, patronising me.

Here is the transactional analysis: The shopkeeper's wife has three daughters, and up until very recently, she knew better than all of them. That is until one has now gone to University. She is catching up with mum.

       'Hmmm,' I hummed, 'The Highways Agency told me that they are raised beds when they did the crossroads in my village. Different road people with different language, I suppose.' I offered. She did not look pleased.

       'Well they are putting in a parallel crossing too; for cyclists and pedestrians.'

I so wanted to say, 'Dutch Crossing.' She rattles me. I have never seen or heard of either a parallel crossing in England, or a Dutch Crossing, but I have been on Dutch Roundabouts, which have the 'parallel crossing' the shopkeeper's wife alluded to.

More transactional analysis: I am the teacher and she is the student - not the other way around. Now I know why we don't get on. She, being a parent to three girls thinks she is the educator. Relationships only work when parties agree to stay within the parameters of their prescribed roles. I am not her student; my bad. She is not my teacher; her bad. How is it that it is wrong for me to think I am never her student? I can't learn if I am not open. However, there is no way that I can outwardly give her credence for her knowledge because the shopkeeper (her husband), it seems, has taken the role of student and satisfied her that she is indeed the teacher. Any support to the same effect from the outside world, and she would never learn from me.

       'Everything was working fine before,' I mused aloud.

       'Well, it is up to the Council. Whatever they decide, we will get.' She just couldn't resist patronising me again. But I hear a clue in this kind of statement. The secret words are: I don't know anything on the subject so let's move on. It is a good idea to move on. Move on. Recognise my superiority on the subject, move on!

       'The District Council might get absorbed by the County Council soon, I think.' Neither could I.

Never judge a book by its cover, they say. This book was titled Skeptic. I have read all the chapters even though it is not necessary. She gives spoilers on every page. 

I have read on a couple of news sites online - the BBC or Sky being one of them, that many local district councils want to delay their local elections because there is going to be a reshuffle of local governments across England. I mentioned that our district council might be absorbed by the county council. She didn't believe me. Neither did the man who came to use the Post Office. He had not heard of this happening either. 

He wasn't dressed like me. I was wearing a shirt and tie; he didn't need to; he is aware of everything that affects the value of his village house.

Their conclusion: I am an idiot. The new Councils will go live, supposedly, on Thursday 1st April 2027 and Saturday? 1st April 2028.

The shopkeeper's wife will not remember that she heard it from me first. She quite simply can't, because I am an idiot.

The moral of the story: Don't play the fool and expect people to take you seriously at a later date. If you choose a role to play, you will press people to choose an opposite role if they are not a future friend, and the same role if they will become your friend.

I think people abide by an unwritten rule that they will permanently play a role, even if they know nothing about Transactions and the ebb and flow of relationships. The shopkeeper's wife will struggle with letting her daughters become teachers, I suspect.

I was born and bred in the same village for the first sixteen years of my life. The whole village knew me, my siblings, and my parents. They knew where we lived and how we lived. The villagers spoke to me and considered me in a particular way.

When I was seventeen, I worked in the south of Germany and had a completely blank script to work from. There were no stage-hands; no seasoned actors; and most importantly, no director. I lived and interacted with the locals as myself without having to conform to people's attitudes to me. I grew and became myself.

When I came back to my home village, the villagers discovered that I did not respond to them as a known entity. I defied their mindless attitudes. They realised that I was different. I was no longer the person they thought I once was. They no longer patronised me; they treated me with respect. The roles of 'adult and child' were replaced with 'adult and adult'. 

References

Institute for Government

Matthew Fright, Reorganising district councils and local public services,

https://www.instituteforgovernment.org.uk/sites/default/files/2025-09/reorganising-district-councils-local-public-services.pdf

.

Sky News - 'Number of councils that have requested delay to local elections revealed - is yours one of them?',

https://news.sky.com/story/local-elections-2026-over-a-third-of-councils-offered-a-delay-have-requested-one-is-yours-on-the-list-13494762

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