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You sluggard!
[ 3 minute read ]
Opinion
I have a laissez-faire approach to life; except I don't, because I do not have a 'minimally restricted freedom in commerce' and my unwillingness to get involved in other people's activities is actually disinterest. How about if I was to say that I suspect badgers and Muntjac Deer are eating the last of my ripening tomatoes, and that I take a position of, 'Oh, let them. They are probably hungrier than me,' I might be able to pretend that I am somehow generous and hide how lazy I truly am.
'Well, it's a big job.' I stood beside myself with hands on my hips. We, both me and I, knew that the whole area around my garden would need to be cleared and a good fence put in.
'Yup, 'spensive too!' I nodded. For a few years now I have been considering the costs and benefits of spending a lot of money. Not money on a fence or a car or a new washing machine, just spending a lot of money. I looked at myself still nodding beside me; lazy and cheap then, I thought. My nodding, I noticed, was more like a horse tossing its head than an agreement; stupid too, I concluded.
Work Smarter, not harder. I suppose I could come up with some plan to make the renovation of my garden into a neighbourhood project; something like providing work experience for young people and offering a view into working with others through holding some kind of responsibility. You are in charge of the east side, you the north, and so on. I suppose I could even promote someone to project manager or garden planner or something. Of course, their parents would necessarily pay for the fence. Hmmm, hundreds of pounds. I might have to play two hands in this game. Poverty and training opportunities as a community-minded enterprise, perhaps.
I suppose it is a pride thing that might let me beg for a fence to stop wild animals eating my tomatoes. If I think about it practically it is a hard sell; buy me a fence because I have a hobby which I am too foolish to be able to find a fresh approach to. I mean, raised beds would save the fruits. After all, Muntjac deer are not very tall and European badgers are not known for their climbing abilities or aspirations. And, I suppose a smaller inner fence around the tomato plants might work.
I can't help liking the idea of successfully bringing a gardening project to the fore though. It has opportunity sprouting out of it in different ways. It could mean that my village gets a free work-force and all that villagers need to do is stump up the money for the materials for their own properties. It could mean I get a house-point in my village. 'Here he comes, good old Martin!' Yet, I think that might be a dead-duck. It would more likely be, 'Here he comes, weirdo Martin begging again with some new-fangled idea rattling in his empty head!'
'Change! Change! Spare some change for a new drive at number 43.' Considering that, I can't help thinking about hungry people and I would like it to be, 'Spare some change for a community fridge, Guv'nor?' I seem to have gotten somewhat lost it seems. The right approach is to have a market garden perhaps. 'Mend my garden fence and share in eating the tomatoes!'
There is another scenario. I have to wedge a small piece of timber between two fences that border my path to my back garden, to hold the sagging apart. If you don't know it is there you will bump your head on it and dislodge it. Twice last month, in a period of three days, I noticed it had fallen and there were no ripe tomatoes ready to be picked. With this in mind, I readily grabbed the book, 'The Mammoth Book of Special Forces Training' by Jon E. Lewis, with a particular interest in booby traps, from the nearby telephone library. 'I am gonna catch me a man!' I doubt it. Digging pits and growing springy trees is more than I care to do, although, there is a modicum of sadistic pleasure in poking a man hanging upside down by his ankles. 'Got you now, you greedy pig! What do you have to say for yourself now, other than oink oink, huh?'
No, procrastination wins the day. I knew I had a tough fight when my competition was late for the game. What a monster!
'We have a good fight ahead tonight folks. Sniveling in the blue corner, Martin Cadwell; and in the red...Procrastination. With Laziness as Procratination's second there is not much Martin will be able to do in this fight. We wonder why he bothers.