Hello, and blogging to de-stress.
I want high marks for these exams, I really do. In reality, though, I'll be happy, nay amazed, if I pass.
I'm thinking that the Quantum exam will be ten times harder than the mathematics. That's okay - it gets the hard stuff out of the way.
My God, I cannot wait until it's all over. I cannot wait until next week. My sweet Lord!
There's things I need to revise. I need to do some spin equations, and do some entanglement equations. The only thing I'm really confident in is the normalization equations. Some of the short questions I'll be alright. But mostly, I think I'm going to have to bullshit through!
That's fine. I can only do as good as I can. I'm not distinction level. But some students are, and I guess I'm wracked with jealousy about them. But as Lee says, that idea, that people are in some kind of competition about who is the cleverest, is an illusion.
I wonder if I'll be happy to study next year? The thing is that doing the actual course, doing the TMAs and reading the books, that's fine. When it comes to exams, there's nothing more stressful.
Do you feel the same?
In any case, I'm not trying to relate to people.
I think, in these final few hours, where I have a little time to revise and refresh my mind, that I'm a bit fatigued. In fact, I feel like if I don't know this stuff by now, then I never will. And doing revision right now is making me mad and mentally ill. So I've decided to relax. I've been playing some guitar. I've been meditating.
What I should really be doing is going through the parts I don't understand.
I think I'll do that.
In these final few hours, all I'm going to do is look through some of the past papers, and write down some solutions, and then that's it.
I'm good to go.
What if I fail?
Well, I will be embarrassed. I've made a big deal of this course to people. People will be very disappointed. My brother will laugh at my low scores. My friends will laugh, my family will laugh. Anyway, I don't really care about that. But I'd like to pass.
I just need to look through some old papers, write down some solutions, and I'm good to go. I'm sure the questions will be fine.
I'll be alright.
I'll be fine.