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Dayne's Grandma

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Dayne is my little sister's partner and father to her children, my nephews, Rio and Rocco. 

Dayne's grandma died yesterday. She was ninety. Apparently, however, the cause of her death was the fact that she had had an adverse reaction to both the covid-19 and flu injections. 

Sometimes certain things go in to reinforcing the beliefs we have about certain things. Dayne, for example, did not take the coronavirus vaccine, for his political views. This particular instance must've reinforced Dayne's conviction about the vaccine (and, consequently, the government), and in this case there's nothing that anyone can do to make him think otherwise. 

But death is a funny thing. 

Before my own grandma died she was unwell a lot of the time. She'd go in hospital, you'd hear, and be out and reasonably better, then she'd be back in hospital, you'd hear, and recover and be out again. 

My Nana Lucy was a Samoan. She was loved by many, many people. If she had died out of the blue, it would have been devastating to everybody - devastating in a way that would almost be unnatural, and poor granny must've been exhausted. She hung on, I believe, for everybody's sake, suffering, and doing so to avoid making everybody feel sorry for her, or whatever, whatever it is, whatever it was, that people were feeling. I maintain, had she died "out of the blue", things wouldn't have been quite right. 

Then, suddenly and crushingly, my twenty one year old New Zealand cousin Robert died from some type of glandular fever or other. I hadn't seen the young man since he was two or three, but it was a devastating shock to us all, and us family in the UK were greatly saddened and sorrowful. Although, between my own father and his sister, Robert's mother, there had been tensions over money since grandad Peter had passed away from cancer over fifteen years ago, everybody could feel the pain of this loss, everybody was hugely concerned, everybody was devastated. 

Then, less than a week later, Nana Lucy died. 

Everybody was very upset, including my father, my uncle, their sisters, our cousins... everybody. But in a way, the blow had been softened. And it had been softened by the passing of Robert. 

Death is a funny thing. It is my firm belief that Robert himself died - nay, was put on this planet to die - to soften the blow when Nana Lucy died. Robert made that sacrifice for her. Had he not, it might have seemed that Nana Lucy had died almost for nothing. 

Cousin Robert died, then Nana Lucy was able to die. 

But again, this is a private thought, and not one I've made popular to my folks or family. It's just something I think. 

When Chris Cornell died, he committed suicide. But, that day, he might've been in the company of someone else, that might've prevented him from doing so. Yeah, he died of asphyxiation, and it was suicide, but he so easily might've lived and fought on for many more years. He might have lived to ninety. 

Last week, I was going to do it. I was going to commit suicide. I didn't, but if it wasn't my brother's daughter Sia's birthday, things might've been different. I held back because I didn't want Sia to have a birthday on which her uncle killed himself. That would've been selfish. So I fought through, that reason being the only thing which kept me alive. Then I got better, and I live to fight another day. 

My point is, God takes us when God wants us home. Nothing more; nothing less. There is no surprise with death. You'll find, in one way or another, that there is a reason behind dying. Even if I had committed suicide, it would just have been the way that I died. There would've been no anomaly, no strange thing, nothing out of the ordinary. That's just the way it would have been. 

I'm happy to live on. There's a lot to live for. Perhaps I'll live to ninety? Perhaps I'll be killed in an accident? My point is, God is in control. 

Dayne's grandma might've lived for another few years, but it wasn't meant to be. And not to be too disingenuous, but this was her destiny. God is in control. There is nothing out of the ordinary. Everybody leaves a legacy. Perhaps Dayne's grandma died to fulfil Dayne's personal outlook on life. That's what it seems to have done, in a way. But God took her this time, and thankfully she was ninety, and had had a good innings, and left a legacy which made sure she could burn till the end. 

I'm sorry, Dayne. My condolences to all your family. 


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