OU blog

Personal Blogs

Jim McCrory

Are you Sulking?

Visible to anyone in the world
Edited by Jim McCrory, Tuesday, 29 Oct 2024, 08:01

My little children let’s not love in word only, 

or with the tongue only, but in deed and truth.

                                                                                      —    I John 3:18



Image generated with the assistance of Microsoft Copilot


Justified indignation—a “huff”—often arises when we feel overlooked, dismissed, or hurt, particularly by family and friends whose opinions matter most to us. It’s natural to retreat in frustration when we sense that our contributions, emotions, or boundaries aren’t valued. A huff signals, even indirectly, that something important has been missed. In close relationships, this can be especially painful. A family member’s offhand remark, a friend’s neglect, or the feeling of being undervalued in shared responsibilities can turn small incidents into deep-seated grievances.

But as the saying goes, “There are two sides to every story.” What seems like a needless huff may, in reality, be the last straw after repeated misunderstandings. Perhaps the friend didn’t know they’d hurt us, or the family member has struggles we haven’t seen. Realizing this perspective should soften our judgments. However, some people become trapped in a cycle of negativity, where each slight compounds into a narrative of constant offense, and they find it hard to lift themselves from this mindset. Left unchecked, this outlook can isolate them from the very people they want to feel close to, replacing connection with resentment.

Here, the guidance in Matthew 18 proves invaluable. When Jesus spoke of confronting someone directly with our grievances, he advocated for open and honest communication. This approach invites understanding rather than division, healing rather than bitterness. For example, rather than retreating into a huff over a friend’s neglect, we could express, kindly but clearly, how their actions impacted us. Such a conversation not only resolves misunderstandings but strengthens relationships through mutual respect and humility.

A huff may feel like a reclaiming of dignity, but if left to fester, it risks becoming a habitual barrier between us and those we love. Jesus’ teaching reminds us that our relationships thrive when we confront issues compassionately and avoid letting offense calcify into lasting bitterness. In the end, justified frustration should lead us to a place of growth, not resentment. By applying empathy and striving to understand each other’s perspectives, we build connections with family and friends based on respect, forgiveness, and compassion—the hallmarks of a truly fulfilling life together.



Permalink Add your comment
Share post
Jim McCrory

Cherishing What Matters Most: Some Thoughts on Matthew 18

Visible to anyone in the world
Edited by Jim McCrory, Monday, 28 Oct 2024, 09:49


Designer%20%2840.jpg

Image generated with the assistance of copilot


As an ardent viewer of All Creatures Great and Small, the beloved series that continues to captivate audiences worldwide, I find myself reflecting on one particular trait shared by the characters: a deep and abiding love for animals. Whether it's sheep, goats, alpacas, or even the humble tortoise, both farmers and vets show a profound tenderness and care toward their creatures. This reverence for animals is woven into every episode, just as it is in the pages of James Herriot’s books.

Yet, as much as this love for animals warms our hearts, it also raises a deeper question: do we as humans sometimes cherish animals more than our fellow man? This thought struck me during a recent reading of the Bible, particularly as I lingered on Matthew 18, a chapter that emphasizes the importance of how we treat one another. It made me realize that, in many religious organizations, these principles are often overlooked or misapplied.

Matthew 18 centres on the value of the individual, underscoring that each person must be protected, especially in moments of weakness. Verse 6 is clear—there is a severe responsibility to shield our fellow man from harm. But it’s in verses 15 to 17 that we see the roadmap for how to handle interpersonal conflict in a way that protects dignity rather than shames.

When someone wrongs us, Jesus' counsel is not to publicly humiliate them or cancel them, as we often see in today’s world of harsh judgment. Instead, verse 15 encourages us to approach the individual privately, in the spirit of compassion. The goal is always to protect, to show mercy, and to extend the opportunity for redemption. The process isn’t about escalating punishment; it’s about restoration.

Even when the sin is more severe, the same principle applies. The aim is to guide the individual back to their senses, not through coercion, but by appealing to them with mercy. If private efforts fail, Jesus instructs us to bring along one or two others, not to enforce judgment, but to persuade gently. This is a far cry from the cold, procedural punishments many may have experienced—there’s no 'Stool of Repentance,' no back-row ostracism. Forgiveness is to be immediate and full, even if repentance takes time.

In fact, even if someone relapses into their faults, Jesus' words to Peter are profound: “Not seven times, but seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22). This radical call to forgive reflects the boundless mercy we are to extend to one another. The process isn't about humiliation or public disgrace. It's about love, mercy, and godly compassion.

Of course, there are times when a person remains unrepentant despite every effort. Only then, after every avenue of mercy has been explored, are we told to involve the broader congregation. Even in these cases, the goal is not to cast someone out but to lovingly allow the community to intervene and seek restoration.

As I reflect on these verses, I can't help but wonder how different our communities might be if we followed this path more closely. If we cherished our fellow man with the same tenderness we show our animals, offering mercy, patience, and forgiveness without limit—wouldn't that be a more Christlike way to live?




 

 


Permalink Add your comment
Share post

This blog might contain posts that are only visible to logged-in users, or where only logged-in users can comment. If you have an account on the system, please log in for full access.

Total visits to this blog: 197900