Personal Blogs

What I'd Like Every Young Person to Know

It was New Years Eve many years ago. I had spent the day in Glasgow doing my shopping for a party I was not invited to. Before catching the train home, I wandered underage into a small bar and ordered a pint. It wasn't really the beer I wanted. I simply wasn't ready to go back to a lonely house.

As I sat there, a melancholy song drifted from the jukebox. Under other circumstances I might scarcely have noticed it, but that afternoon it seemed to find every lonely corner of my heart. Around me people laughed, wished Hogmanay  greetings and hurried away to get ready for parties, family gatherings and warm homes. Everyone, it seemed, had somewhere to belong.

I remember staring into my glass and wondering, Where is life taking me? Why do I feel so unnoticed? Why am I so shy? Why do girls not notice me?

It is a strange thing to feel lonely in the middle of a crowd.

Thankfully, life did not remain that way. Things changed. More importantly, I changed. Looking back now, I realise that what I experienced is something many young people quietly endure. Loneliness. Uncertainty. The feeling that everyone else has found their place while you are still searching for yours.

After many years of living, despite still feeling young inside, people sometimes ask what wisdom those years have brought. Well, if I could sit down with every young person for half an hour, I don't think I would begin by asking what career they hoped to pursue or what grades they achieved at school. Those things have their place, but they are not the deepest questions. We are not our grades.

I would want to know what kind of person they hope to become.

The world speaks endlessly about success. It tells you to be noticed, to gain followers, to build a reputation and to stay ahead of everyone else. Yet history has a curious habit of remembering something else. Long after fame has faded and fortunes have disappeared, people are remembered for their courage, their honesty, their kindness and the quiet way they treated others.

Never underestimate the value of character. It is built in small decisions that no one else sees. Every truthful answer when a lie would be easier, every act of kindness that goes unnoticed, every temptation resisted and every promise kept is shaping the person you are becoming.

You may sometimes feel that your examination results define you. They do not. Work hard, by all means. Learn eagerly and give your best. Education opens doors, but your worth has never depended upon the marks written at the top of a page. Some of the wisest people I have met would never have called themselves academic, yet they possessed qualities that no examination could ever measure: compassion, perseverance, humility and integrity.

Do not be afraid to be different. It takes little courage to drift with the crowd. It takes real strength to stand quietly for what is right when others laugh at it. Every generation needs people who are willing to say, 'No, I cannot do that,' even when they stand alone.

There is another gift you possess that deserves careful protection: your conscience. It is that quiet voice which sometimes speaks when everyone else is silent. It urges honesty when dishonesty would be easier. It troubles us when we have acted unfairly and gives peace when we have done what is right. Never make the mistake of silencing it. A clear conscience is worth far more than a guilty success.

Be generous with kindness. You may never know how deeply a simple word of encouragement affects another person. Many adults can still remember a teacher who believed in them, a neighbour who showed unexpected compassion or a stranger whose brief kindness arrived on a difficult day. You have the ability to become that person for someone else.

Guard your attention carefully. The phone in your pocket is a remarkable invention, but it was never meant to own your thoughts. Look up from the screen from time to time. Watch the sunrise. Walk beneath a sky full of stars. Read books that stretch your mind. Sit with your grandparents and ask about the world they grew up in. The richest experiences in life rarely arrive with a notification.

Do not run away from difficult things. Almost everything worthwhile begins as a struggle. Learning a language, mastering an instrument, understanding mathematics, writing well, building lasting friendships, finding God in private prayer, and developing wisdom all require patience. Difficulty is not always a sign that you are on the wrong road. More often, it is evidence that you are growing.

Never lose your sense of wonder. Keep asking questions. Why does mathematics describe the universe so beautifully? Why does music move us to tears? Why do we find beauty in a sunset or a field of wildflowers? Why does our conscience insist that some things are truly right and others truly wrong? Curiosity is one of the greatest companions of wisdom. The person who never stops asking, 'Why?' never really stops learning. Write down your thoughts in a notebook. One day it may be a book that helps others.

You will fail from time to time. Everyone does. Failure need not become your identity. Some of the strongest, wisest and most compassionate people are those who have stumbled, learned, risen again and kept walking. Your mistakes need not write the final chapter of your story.

Choose your friends carefully. Character has a remarkable way of spreading from one life to another. The people you spend time with will quietly influence the person you become. Seek out those who encourage honesty, wisdom, faithfulness and generosity. As Proverbs reminds us, 'Walk with the wise and become wise.'

Read great books. They allow you to spend time with minds that lived centuries before you. Within their pages you will find companions, teachers and friends whom you may never meet in this life. Books enlarge our world, challenge our assumptions and remind us that every generation wrestles with the same great questions of truth, love, loneliness, suffering and hope.

Above all, remember this: your value does not depend upon your popularity, your appearance, your achievements or the approval of strangers. According to Scripture, every human being is made in the image of God. That means your dignity is something you were given, not something you must earn. Before you accomplish anything remarkable, you already matter.

When I sat in that Glasgow bar all those Christmases ago, I could never have imagined where life would lead me. I did not know the people I would meet, the joys I would experience, the sorrows I would endure or the faith that would anchor me through it all. If I could speak to that younger man now, I would simply tell him, 'Hold on. Life is not finished with you yet.'

That is the greatest encouragement I can offer you.

The world does not simply need more clever people, beautiful people or more successful people. It needs men and women of integrity. It needs people who tell the truth when lying would be easier, who show mercy when anger would be applauded, who remain humble when success arrives and who quietly leave every place a little kinder than they found it.

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."

Corrie Ten Boom

"Chan ann leis a’ chiad bhuille thuiteas a’chraobh."

"It is not with the first stroke that the tree falls."

 Portree Harbour by https://unsplash.com/@breebuddy

I was watching Billy Collins on a YouTube podcast answering the question, “How to be a Poet,”

Oh dear, you may not like the answer; ten thousand hours of reading poetry including the heavies like Milton.

I have an MA Creative Writing Degree, but I have not indulged much in poetry although I like to read it. But like any other endeavour in life like learning a language or playing an instrument or tennis, you need to discipline oneself and do the hours.

The Gaelic proverb reminds one that discipline, persistence and engagement are involved in accomplishing your goals.

Billy Collins: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eP9reBY7EwM