Personal Blogs

I cried when I finally got my grade for DD310. Really cried. Bawled! My last module before this began in 2018, so it had been a long old time since I had studied with the OU, and I was nervous for level 3. My TMA grades weren't *quite* as high as they usually are, so I really needed to knock it out of the park on my EMA to have any hope of a distinction overall for the year. I'm thrilled to report that I did! 😁😁😁 I've now achieved distinctions in all of level 2 and half of level 3 - I only need a 2:2 for DE300 to achieve a 1st overall!!! I'm obviously going to aim as high as I can anyway, but it's taken SO much pressure off!!

Since my last post, I've:
🥳 Passed my 3rd exam (of 4 total) for my BCS International Diploma in Business Analysis!
🥳 Rehabilitated my poor torn hip flexor!
🥳 Competed in the UK Aerial Performance Championship in April, despite the above injury (I won my regional round!)
🥳 Performed at a showcase in Newbury in April
🥳 Been on a HUGE weekend-long train-a-thon at the Manchester Aerial and Acrobatics Convention (also in April - so much for easing back in lol) and tried several new disciplines!
🥳 Performed in the Aerial Authentics Competition in Wigan in May, where I came 2nd (and brought home some chains to play on!)
🥳 Performed on aerial hoop at my own work party (nerve-wracking in front of all of my colleagues!) in June
🥳 Participated in a few more aerial photoshoots, including a paid photography workshop in a hideous heatwave!
🥳 Performed on the Moon Lyra for the first time in July, and thoroughly enjoyed it!
🥳 Finally found my way back to singing in front of people again - just at karaoke for now, but I'm putting a band together, and have the local amateur operatic society asking me to join and audition for a production of Evita!
🥳 Been formally diagnosed autistic/ADHD, after a long journey involving 2 psychiatrists and a neurocognitive psychologist.

Life has been absolutely crazy and it has been pretty overwhelming at times. But I'm really proud of everything that I've achieved, and hope I can have a really good year and finally, FINALLY graduate 👩🏻‍🎓

My first attempt at university began in September 2008. It has been such a long road to get just to this point, and I can't believe that the end is finally in sight. That I'm finally achieving things I dreamed of decades ago. Academically. Personally. Artistically. Things are coming together✨

I know I'm a student as I sit here at my laptop participating in an online tutorial, but there's just something more student-y about going to lectures with other students, isn't there? I went to Warwick for the DE100 consolidation weekend and had a really good time with the other students and professors there! I learned a lot and got to meet a lot of really lovely people from all over the UK, including students working on stages 1, 2 and 3. If you're considering going to one of these events I would wholeheartedly recommend it!!

I started to see where I could go with my studies, developed some new aims and ambitions, made some contacts, and am even working on an idea that I want to investigate just out of personal interest. Once I'm all done with my modules for this year I think I will run a little pilot (assuming I get the appropriate permissions) in order to apply my new learning I have more direction, more confidence, and more enthusiasm (even for methods and statistics, which I was a little intimidated by at first!), so a big thank you to the organisers, to the new friends I've made, and especially to the lecturers!

I've also realised that the end of January marks the half-way point!! I'm halfway through year 1 already. Hopefully the second half will go as well as the first half! :D

Hello again I've had 3 assignments back now - two for DD102 and one for DE100! I'm happy to report that I've passed everything so far and actually got some really good results! For my 2nd TMA for DD102 I scored 95%, which I was absolutely over the moon about :D I just submitted TMA02 for DE100 (due Dec 20th) and I've written my first draft of TMA 03 for DD102 (due Jan 12th). I'm 2 months in and I'm still managing to keep on top of the dual module situation, it's going well

Honestly it's pretty intense but it is interesting as well, and very relatable to aspects of my work and other everyday experiences. I've managed to get to several face-to-face tutorials which have been good fun and very useful - I feel a bit less of a lone student when I'm at a tutorial! My tutors for both modules have given detailed feedback on my TMAs as well, which I'm hoping will help me to keep achieving well on the assignments.

I've decided which optional courses I want to do for 2nd stage and (being the eager beaver I am) I've bought the course books second hand off students who've recently finished them. In the gap between stage 1 and stage 2 (there's a long old summer break!) I'm hoping to get a head start on reading the books, so that I have an easier time when I get into it for real.

I'm still undecided on whether to attempt all of stage 2 in a year, I worry I might burn out if I try to do 2 consecutive years of full time study and full time work. Unfortunately none of the modules I want to do have a February start so I either have to go for everything at once or take an extra year to do it. If I make good progress with the books I've picked up I'll be in a much stronger position to try it at least. I still have a good few months to think about it. We'll see.

I still haven't received the DE100 books yet, but I found the PDF versions of the module textbooks for both DD102 and DE100! I've downloaded all of them and put them onto my iPad. Much more portable! It has enabled me to start DE100 and honestly... I was a little daunted at first as the workload seems higher, the reading takes me longer. But I think I'm learning well and picking up the new terms and concepts, which is encouraging. I really feel like a psychology student, now.

Today I went out and used my student discount haha, I bought a little whiteboard, more post-it notes, some index cards, and a weekly planner. I'm ready. Bring on the official module start!!

I've been assigned a tutor for DE100 already in spite of my late sign-up... still nothing on DD102 but I assume they'll sort it out soon! I think it's probably a very large module as obviously other social science subject degrees will also include it so perhaps they're struggling to divide up the students or something. I'm on like week 7 of that now so I'm pretty happy left to my own devices to be honest.

Workwise I interviewed for a position a band up from my current one and got offered the job more or less on the spot!! So I will be moving departments at some point in the next few weeks. I'm a bit worried about it as my travelling time is going to be longer, which will eat into my study time. I'm hoping that if I get far enough ahead I can keep myself ahead of schedule and still fit my study time in in spite of the extra driving etc.

"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." - Henry Ford

Life has been a confusing mess of wholly unpredictable experiences thus far. I'm loath to make long-term plans or have long-term goals as I feel like every time I do, the rug is sharply pulled from under my feet and I end up back at the start. With nothing left to do, but...

Dust myself off. Begin again. 

And yet here I am, 28 years old, and tentatively agreeing with myself that I'm finally going to do it. I'm going to do the degree in Psychology that I've been contemplating for several years now. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't apprehensive about it. And honestly I don't have the confidence to think about what I'll do with it, what I'll do next. 

Not yet. At least, not beyond this vague aim -

I hope to take all of the adventures and misadventures that have led me to this point, and make something meaningful out of them. To learn to understand myself, to understand others. To make something good out of everything bad. To create my own silver linings as I come to terms with the experiences I've had. To eventually help others to do the same.