2 May 2025
Finally, a negative covid test.
Despite having a covid addled brain, over the last couple of days I’ve managed to corral together quite a significant bunch of quotes from a range of different sources for my EMA which is due at the end of the month. The reason for doing this is to try to figure out what different critics think about the two texts I’ve chosen, before going ahead and doing a final re-read of my choices, and finally coming to a view about what I think. The challenge I’m facing is that that I’ve never felt that I’ve been any good at history. A bit of a blind spot I have is knowing much about all the various British kings and queens. This said, the more I read, the more bits of it start to make sense. An interesting reflection is that some of the themes from level 1 are now beginning to find their way to level 3.
Here's my plan: let everything sit with me for a couple of days. When I’ve done that, re-read through my 18 pages of notes and quotes, then re-read the texts, and then start to write the EMA; I already feel as if I have a macros structure – it is the detail that need to figure out, and that is pretty important.
6 May 2025
Today is a day of two tutorials. I went to one that took place at around noon. It had focus on drama and the EMA. I think I have more of an understanding about the purpose of the EMA, and what it is looking for, but I’m less certain about how I go about making an argument that works with both of the texts that I’ve chosen. I’ve gone from feeling confident, to less confident.
There’s one tutorial tonight, and another one tomorrow. When I’ve attended both of them I’ll probably start to write, after having a quick look at another couple of references that I’ve picked up from the lunchtime tutorial. I guess this oscillation between certainty and uncertainty accompanies becoming familiar with the principles that underlie a discipline that I haven’t (yet) completely grasped its fundamentals. I feel like I’m getting there.
7 May 2025
Last night’s tutorial was quite helpful in terms of unpicking the EMA question. I’m going to keep with my texts, since I like them. Our tutor said it’s okay to go with our favourites.
I have two things to do today: to attend a book 2 summary tutorial that takes place in the evening, and to then try to dig out a couple of extra references to read (although I know I have loads). I think I’m a couple of day away from starting to write my EMA.
10 May 2025
Well, I’ve downloaded those extra resources, and I’ve transferred them to my Kindle, and have thoroughly scribbled on them. I now need to transcribe all my quotes into my notes document. I also have another task, which is to dig out some critical reviews of one of the texts that I’ve chosen.
Following a determined morning of TMA marking, I’ve just come out of another two A334 EMA preparation tutorials. I missed the majority of the first one, but I’ve downloaded the slides. My to my dismay, one of the presenters shared yet another reference which looks to be of interest. I seem to be creatively procrastinating, doing everything else except for the writing of the EMA.
After the tutorials, I’ve had a listen to an EMA preparation audio which has been prepared by the module team. It didn’t contain any surprises, which is a good thing. I’ve also made a note to listen to another few resources, which can be found on the page ‘learning event summaries’. I think that is going to be this evening’s job, along with some further TMA marking.
What I’m now more certain about is what I’m not going to include within my EMA.
The countdown clock to the final submission date is ticking louder. I don’t yet feel as if I know my chosen texts backwards yet, which is making me feel slightly uncomfortable. I’m nearly there with one of them, but I need to work on the other. I’m sure I’ll get there.
15 May 2025
Well, I’ve got my TMA 5 back. A mixed result. Certainly not one of my best. It is a shame, since I did feel (whilst writing it) that I had submitted a good essay. My tutor left me some helpful feedback. The main comment was that it’s structure (for a literature essay) was a little unconventional. Reflecting on this, I can see his point. It could have been presented differently, to integrate together the philosophical ideas and text from Confessions. Had I done this, I would have produced a more readable essay. I am, however, very secure in my understanding of the sublime, but I am slightly frustrated that I spent so many hours working through Confessions.
I was doing a bit of travelling yesterday. I read a few more critical sources. Whilst reading these, I gathered up a few more ideas that I could use in my EMA. Whilst traveling, I have missed an EMA preparation surgery, but my tutor has already emailed his group saying that a recording is available.
My plan for the next few days, leading up to the weekend (which is going to be an EMA writing weekend) is: continue to read critical sources. By the time I get to Saturday morning, I should be more or less ready to write.
16 May 2025
I’ve just listened to that ‘EMA surgery’ tutorial that was run by my tutor. I’m going to attend another day school event that is taking place tomorrow, which is all about drama and close reading. The more events that I attend, and the more general reading that I do, the less confident I feel in my ability to write an essay that meets the assessment criteria. I want to write something interesting, which does the texts justice, but I’m feeling a long way away from that. Perhaps this is a lull of confidence that one has whilst building up towards something that is going to finish soon. It’s a curious feeling.
No matter what happens on the day school tomorrow, I’m going to be starting my writing. I can’t carry on reading more and more, although I do feel as if I’m learning more and more. I need to figure out what my position is, and get into the texts to choose some sections to demonstrate close reading. I’ve got a rough idea of what I want to write, but the difficulty is that I don’t think it is what the module team are looking for – and I don’t really know how to get out of that rut.
I think the key in all this will be the importance of cutting, which was a significant point mentioned in our surgery.
Addendum: towards the end of the day, another resource was suggested to me; a series of podcasts by Emma Smith called Approaching Shakespeare. I’m hoping to listen to one of them, just in time for the EMA.
19 May 2025
I’m nearly done. I spent Saturday morning in the day school, and a bit of the afternoon creating an EMA document and starting writing. On Sunday, I got properly stuck in. Although I didn’t do any significant essay planning other than creating a skeleton structure within my EMA document, I did have a rough idea of what I was going to write about.
On Saturday evening, I was wracked with self-doubt and questioning. I felt as if the two texts that I had chosen wouldn’t work together and that perhaps there might have been better choices. By the time I got to Sunday evening, this had changed; I had found a way to make them complement each other – I can now see (and hopefully the examiner will see) how they are related to each other.
My next step is to leave everything for a few days, to let my thoughts settle, and then turn to the final bits of editing. I’m 200 words shy of a final word count. Although I think I know what I want to add, I’m currently too close to what I’ve written to make an objective decision about what might work more effectively. I’m looking forward to getting everything in and finishing. The EMA writing has been a bit of a roller coaster.
20 May 2025
It was nearly 3am in the morning. I had been thinking about my EMA. I had a vague notion that I should strengthen some of the points that I feel I had been implicitly trying to make in my essay. I came to the view that I needed for foreground a couple of points. In the space between wakefulness and sleep, I sent myself a sketchy email from my phone, put on the latest episode of In Our Time, which was about the development of copyright, and fell asleep on the sofa.
Yesterday evening I submitted my unedited EMA, with the view that if were I to suffer a catastrophic IT failure, something would be in the system. I have a printout of it. Either tomorrow or the day after, I’m going to do my final edits, and try to take account of the vague ideas that I’ve sent myself.
I’m really looking forward to getting this all done. I’m also looking forward to summer, my final module, and reading George Elliot.
22 May 2025
An update has gone in.
I can’t seem to leave my EMA alone. Last night I had a thought about an additional sentence I could add, which may have clarified one of the points that I was trying to make. A quick set of edits, and then a resubmission.
I dipped in and out of the ‘write now’ tutorial. I felt as if I started to overthink, and question every single sentence I had written. I should try to relax.
23 May 2025
I can’t leave it alone. I made another couple of edits and resubmissions. Mostly typographical changes; cutting a word here, adding a word there. I think I’m only going to relax when the submission day has ticked over.
Here’s a few curious numbers which I thought I would share:
My Kindle A334 category contains 84 items. This includes set texts, module materials, critical sources and secondary readings.
I have collected 43 presentations (PDFs or PowerPoints) from the various tutorials that have taken place during the course of the module. Some of these are module wide events, other are tutorials events. I can’t say for certain whether I’ve been to all of these, but I’ve certainly been to a good number of them.
I went a bit overboard with my EMA reading, downloading 33 articles which relate to the EMA question (in one way or another) and both of the set texts. There’s a huge amount of scholarship and opinion out there. A challenge that I’ve had is deciding on what I think, and trying to express it with a degree of confidence. The process of reading, and writing for the assignments is, of course, a very big bit of the learning.
The official module guidance is that students should spend around 16 hours per week on their studies (I’ve not looked this up; it might even be more, but this number is sticking in my memory for some reason). I don’t think I’ve done as much as 16 hours (I feel as if I’m experienced student), but it’s not too far from it. There were some weeks that were lighter than others.
It’s one more day closer to the end of the module.
It’s time to get back to my day job.
29 May 2025
Well, this is it; the final day of the module presentation.
Over the last week and on long(ish) cycle rides, I’ve been trying to think about what else I could have included in my EMA. I’ve got nothing. I’ve submitted no further updates or corrections. It’s time to let it go.
How I feel about these level 3 modules is different to how I feel about level 2 modules. I was surprised at how well I did in the level 2 modules. This led me to gaining a feeling of confidence. In turn, I became thoroughly invested in wanting to do well for the level 3 modules, although they were clearly harder.
There’s one thing that I still need to focus on, and a couple of take away points that strike me as really important.
The thing that I need to focus on is to develop a more detailed understanding of the notion of ‘an argument’ and what this means in literature essays. I understand that it means adopting a particular point of view, expressing that view, and backing it up with evidence (from texts and sources) to substantiate that view. What I’ve struggled with is the interpretation of essay titles and choosing a point of view. I don’t (yet) have the confidence to go too far from the core of the essay since I don’t want to go off topic. There’s a subtlety to all this that I haven’t yet resolved. All this might well depend on the question that is asked and how I relate to it.
Here's my couple of take away points. With English essays, whilst it is important to clearly demonstrate your understanding of texts and critics to satisfy essential learning outcomes, essay structure is even more important. How you write your essays is more important than what you say within your essays. This makes sense. After all, it’s all about communication and how you express yourself.
I’ve added ‘results day’ into my diary. I’ve started an A335 blog. I’ve also looked at what other modules I might be able to study if I don’t get the grade that I’m hoping for from this module. You see, I’m now thoroughly invested.
Many thanks to my tutor (who has been very good), the module team, and fellow A334 students (you lot on the WhatsApp group have been amazing). It’s been hard work. I feel as if I've learnt a lot.
