Hi everyone!
Welcome to my blog. I've never been very good at these so you'll have to give me a chance... I'm a young woman who has a lot going for her at the moment. I have a house to call my own, a loving boyfriend and an amazing family.
But I don't feel happy, and I realize that is because I'm not happy with myself.
Many years ago when I was at school I didn't think about the future properly because I didn't understand how much of an impact my choice of education would have on me. I thought 'Oh I'll do what I like and what I know is easy for me,' I wish I hadn't now. At the time I didn't know what I was good at, I was terrible at Science, terrible at English, terrible at PE (Mainly because I had a spine operation so my body couldn't compete as well as it used to), I felt like I was terrible at everything. Apart from being a happy, fun, young woman with a bubbly personality. I chose Art, Drama, History and Photography as my GCSE's. And I do regret the Photography and the History course. Drama and Art helped me become more of who I am so I don't regret that. In college I chose to do Interactive Media, which was mainly Graphic Design, Animation, Games Design and Art History, and then I had chosen a Foundation Degree in Graphic Design... which I dropped out from.
There were two reasons I dropped out. The other's were copying my work and getting better marks then myself - which I argued against with my tutors but they denied it. And I went through a rough time with myself emotionally, a wave of sadness suddenly overtook my life and I felt worthless.
During this time I was working at HMV Ltd as a weekend assistant and I loved it! I put my heart in it as I loved the job, I was good with people and good with films/music/games. But then Jan 2013 came... 'HMV GOING INTO ADMINISTRATION' My heart sank and the job I loved was going... I wanted to push further in this career. I wanted to become a Supervisor... an Assistant Manager... a Store Manager... an Area Manager... pushing as far as I could go! But all of that was ripped away from me.
After that I have been job hopping... store... office... office... office... and then I found Specsavers, and also before then I had met my current partner. He has been a massive support to me with my job jumping since he knew me before HMV was closing. Specsavers was an amazing job, I was back on the front line helping customers and I started taking a course with them to progress in the knowledge of Dispensing Glasses correctly and being able to recognize certain eye issues people could have.
But I was bullied in the work place and again my confidence was knocked back even further. I felt worthless again and every couple of weeks was crying with my other half not knowing what to do. The job I loved was being ruined by jealous women who just wanted to make my life difficult. I stayed and kept making my managers away of the situation, which only seemed to make them worse... it got to the point where I moved into my first house with my other half in Oct 2017 I couldn't afford to keep going to work because of the distance we moved to.
So I ended up getting a job at a Car Dealership in Shrewsbury. And during my last week they tried to make it so difficult for me. It got to the point where I handed a letter of complaint in and now I know that the women who had caused me all the issues are now gone from Specsavers! They targetted someone else at the store and they had no leg to stand on after that! Karma was finally on my side!
Though over this last year I've worked at two different car dealerships, even though I have enjoyed the jobs in regards to dealing with people, physically I cannot do it. My back pain will not allow it... I did have to get another spine operation while working at HMV in 2012 and this job has caused me more agony. So I have decided to do two things.
I have found another job where my other halfs cousin works. And I am studying with Open University. I'm fed up of feeling worthless and I'm going to push myself to make myself proud.
And Open University is my first step to that!
As an amazing person I follow says - Gotta have that PMA! (Positive Mental Attitude!)