Swiss leader William Tell was heavily criticised last night for being "Too obsessed with targets".
Herr Tell's office was unavailable for comment.
Personal Blogs
SWISS LEADER SLAMMED
Tuesday 12 April 2016 at 00:05
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Untitled
Sunday 10 April 2016 at 23:20
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Why was the word "posesses" embarrassed to be seen in public?
Because it was under-essed.
One Niler
Sunday 10 April 2016 at 21:58
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Why was baby Moses impatient to be found? Because he was in a rush.
Ruthless Rhyme
Sunday 10 April 2016 at 01:08
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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday 10 April 2016 at 18:42
When Sidney got the text, he said
"Oh bother! Father's dead.
This causes me enormous sorrow.
I'd booked my holiday tomorrow."
Chicken Joke
Saturday 9 April 2016 at 17:17
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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday 9 April 2016 at 17:19
Why did the drunken chicken cross the road?
To get to the other cider.
(With apologies to Savage Chickens)
Take These as Bread: Painful Daffinitons
Thursday 7 April 2016 at 23:20
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Bagel = Lifeguard
Bakers = Baskerville's doggy doom
Bloomer = Mediterranean sea
Boulangerie = Way of scaring underwear
Chapati = No, we went straight home
Dough = See Homer
Loaf = unwilling
Naan = May be in granary
Rye = Ironic
Slice = Diagnosis of infestation
One Liner
Thursday 7 April 2016 at 00:34
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I hardly thought about my arteries. That is, until my drains got blocked.
Cheesy Comparison
Thursday 7 April 2016 at 00:27
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Gouda
Is louda.
But Feta
Better.
Pronoun confusion
Wednesday 6 April 2016 at 01:10
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If I were you
And you were me
Would ye be mou
And me be thee?
A Poem for this Starry Night
Tuesday 5 April 2016 at 23:17
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This starry night,
Walking light
And barefoot home, through
The grass.
Walking light
And barefoot home, through
The grass.
The dew,
Embraces
me too,
As I
pass.
Memory Haiku
Monday 4 April 2016 at 02:15
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And what would it to be like.
To have no memory?
Alway Spring, or
Always Winter.
Celestial Response
Monday 4 April 2016 at 01:21
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From: Celestial Bureaucracy (Mortals)
To: All Mortal Supplicants
Subject: Excessive workload
A recent flood of supplications is placing our staff under stress. I am sure you will understand if I ask you to send future complaints directly to my mailbox, monkey@rainbow.bridge
Ruthless Rhyme
Thursday 31 March 2016 at 22:05
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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday 31 March 2016 at 22:18
When Billy died in frightful pain,
We vowed to never visit there again.
As Father said, "Their hygiene's flawed."
"But all the same, he was insured."
We vowed to never visit there again.
As Father said, "Their hygiene's flawed."
"But all the same, he was insured."
Dinosaurance
Tuesday 29 March 2016 at 22:35
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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday 31 March 2016 at 02:13
Trust me. I sell asteroid insurance. It's good so far. Very few claims.
Tom Aukley
Tuesday 29 March 2016 at 22:24
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"Sorry to interrupt but if you crane your necks to the right you'll see some magnificent seabirds", said Tom awkwardly.
Two Liner
Tuesday 29 March 2016 at 21:56
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I always thought a couplet was a small cup.
Apparently I messed up.
Spring Haiku
Monday 28 March 2016 at 21:18
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Brolly inside-out. Shoes leaking.
Such wind and rain!
But it's Spring, I like it.
One Liner
Sunday 27 March 2016 at 20:20
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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday 27 March 2016 at 20:20
I used to read a lot about geese. In the end it got me down.
Clerihew
Sunday 27 March 2016 at 02:40
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Charles Babbage
Detested cabbage.
He was very keen
On his Analytical Machine.
Detested cabbage.
He was very keen
On his Analytical Machine.
From the Joke Factory
Sunday 27 March 2016 at 02:10
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Our Stakhanovite Elves toil ceaselessly, stockpiling well in advance to meet this year's demand for Christmas cracker mottoes. Here is an example that rolled off the production line as I wrote this.
Q. Three Frogs were in a Pond. Which one was obedient?
A. The one that Toad the line.
?
Wednesday 23 March 2016 at 22:54
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What does it say in this post?
Holding Queue
Tuesday 22 March 2016 at 23:33
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I'd really like to help but...
We are so busy at the minute.
Could you come back a lifetime on Thursday?
Tongue Twister
Monday 21 March 2016 at 20:20
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Try saying
"Pump clip
aloud 10 times in a row.
Question
Monday 21 March 2016 at 20:02
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Is there a question which is its own answer?
One Liner
Monday 21 March 2016 at 00:14
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I used to love sailing the seven seas. But the glamour's worn off... Now I'm just going through them oceans.
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