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Richard Walker

One Liner

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I told my analyst I wanted to be like Mozart. She said, “What, dead?”

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Richard Walker

Beside myself

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I thought I'd make an old-fashioned record of a couple of musical-hall songs. On vinyl, you know, and when you've played the first side you turn the record over: all that sort of stuff, needle etc.


But I hit a problem.

I decided the 'A' side should be 'I do like to be beside the seaside'. But then, you see, I couldn't decide what the 'B' side should be.

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Richard Walker

Gingerbread Man Rebuffs Media

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Richard Walker

The Snows Of Yester-Year

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 19 Aug 2018, 21:40

“But where are the snows of yester-year?” popped into my head for some reason.

This famous refrain is from Rosetti's translation of the Ballade des dames de temps jadis by Villon. You can find several translation of the poem collected at a rather nice site http://lachlan.bluehaze.com.au/snows_of_yesteryear.html

But what intrigued me was finding that Rosetti invented 'yester-year’ to translate the French ‘antan’. 

'Antan' is from Latin 'ante annum' and so probably meant 'before the year' = 'last year', and so Rosetti's translation is rather glorious. 'Yester' seems to have had an original sense of recent or close in time, and there are several English compounds. Apart from 'yesterday' we have 'yestermorn', 'yestereve' and so on.  But before Rosetti’s coining 'yester-year' doesn't seem to have been recorded.

Nowadays both 'yesteryear' and 'antan' have acquired the wider meaning of times gone by, not just last year, presumably influenced by the wistful nostalgia of Villon's brilliant line.

'Yester' is interesting because it seems to have the same origins as Latin 'hesterno' and ancient and modern Greek χθες (pronounced something like 'ch' in 'loch' followed by 'thez'.)

Greek for tomorrow is αύριο, avrio. Once I dined with a Greek priest and he told me this anecdote.

“Some American tourists were here last week. They asked me if Greek has word corresponding to the Spanish mañana. 'Of course', I replied. 'But not so definite'”.




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Richard Walker

Short Poem (Of An Autumn Romance)

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Taxi

Back seat kiss

Lost


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Richard Walker

A Dragonfly Came In

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A dragonfly. Perhaps a dead friend
Popping in from the past
To say hello? However
I politely coaxed the insect from my kitchen.
Preferring to cook in private.



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Richard Walker

Respect

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In a fit of irrational exuberance I knocked a witch's hat off. As a punishment she magicked me into a herb


Who's sorrel now?

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Richard Walker

A Lost Love Speaking In A Dream

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 18 Aug 2018, 22:05
A thousand years ago or so
We loved we two
It took a single second to reveal
The love still burns alive and real
How can it be we passed and parted then
But reunited are we now again?

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Richard Walker

Travel Problem

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Richard Walker

What would you call this woman?

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...who longs for identity?


Naomi!


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Richard Walker

What would you call ths woman?

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... who has tripped, and badly scraped her knee?



Grace!
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Richard Walker

Alla Barnen go to Rome

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All the kids loved the Sistine Chapel. Except Jilly.

She thought the ceiling was rather silly.

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Richard Walker

What a Swine-dell!

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I saw this ad on eBay

‘Are you a truly expert comedian? If so, don’t “boar” your audience but “hog” the stage, with one of our range of exclusive witticisms.’

Like a fool I went for it. But it turned out I’d bought a beginner's joke.

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Richard Walker

What is this tree?

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There's a giant conifer near where I live, a redwood I think. I took this shot looking up into the canopy.


This tree always inspire awes me. I suppose as redwoods go it is comparatively small. The base of the trunk would be about 15 feet round, I suppose, and the tree about 50 feet or so high. But when I look up into the branches it seems as if I am gazing into a magical world where a whole ecoystem might live.

I don't know what species it is, but my guess is a Californian redwood, Wellingtonia. In which case it might grow a whole lot bigger.

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Richard Walker

Gardening Time

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"A Garden of Eden, just made for two
With nothing to mar our joy."


A garden was originally some sort of enclosed space. The word comes from Norman French jardin (as in modern French) but probably has the same (Germanic) roots as yard, the now rare English garth, and further back, perhaps the ancient Greek and Latin hortus.

In fact it may be connected with court (so courtyard might mean yardyard) and (suprisingly perhaps) with cohort, but presumably a cohort was originally a group of soldiers within an enclosure.

Paradise comes from Greek paradisos, which I think is a from an ancient Persian word for a walled deerpark, but came to mean an enclosed garden in Greek and of course gives us paradise. So the Garden of Eden was literally a Paradise.

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Richard Walker

The Spooner Wheel

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My awsome new invention, an early prototype of which you see above, is an essential aid to all who aspire to compose 'Spoonerisms'. Simply rotate the outer ring relative to the inner (or vice versa) to generate such striking examples as the following imaginary headline

Cads Bake Bad Cakes – Mary Berry



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Richard Walker

Ithaca

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Constantine Cavafy (1863 – 1933) was one of the most famous and influential Greek poets of the last century. He was a journalist and civil servant who never tried to publish his work but simply offered it to anyone interested.

His poem Ithaca begins

Σὰ βγεῖς στὸν πηγαιμὸ γιὰ τὴν Ἰθάκη,
νὰ εὔχεσαι νἆναι μακρὺς ὁ δρόμος,
γεμάτος περιπέτειες, γεμάτος γνώσεις.

As you set out for Ithaca
hope your road is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.

Here you can hear the full poem read, in English, by Sean Connery, with music by the composer Vangelis.


Picture credit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constantine_P._Cavafy#/media/File:Constantine_Cavafy,_ca_1900.jpg

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Richard Walker

Verse and Worse

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 11 Aug 2018, 21:44

Eons ago I had a book called 'Verse and Worse'.

A particular humorous poem from it has stuck in my head all these years. I don't know who the original author was, and I may have got the odd word wrong here and there. But here is what I recall.

"Twas an evening last December

As I very well remember,

I was walking down the road in drunken pride.

But me knees were all a flutter, so I lay down, in the gutter

And a pig came up, and and lay down by my side.

As I lay there in the gutter,

Thinking thoughts I could not utter,

I thought I heard a passing colleen say

'You can tell a man that boozes,

By the company he chooses.'

At that, the pig got up and walked away."



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Richard Walker

Playground Joke

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Q. What pictures of themselves do crabs send each other?

A. Shellfish!

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Richard Walker

Breakup

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I thought I'd been crying

But it was only the rain

What' sthe waerher like on youy paknet


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Richard Walker

Chicken Interview Scoop

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Interviewer: Good evening Chicken, welcome! You won't be surprised when I ask the same question I'm sure you've been asked many times before. Why do you cross the road?

Chicken: Well I guess it comes down to instinct. It's summed up well in the song; 'Fish gotta swim and birds gotta to fly'. Chickens gotta cross. That's it really. Billy Holliday had a song says it all.






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Richard Walker

Why Did The Vulture Cross The Road?

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To baldly go

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Richard Walker

Playground Joke (awful)

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Q. Why do chickens cross the road?

A. Because it's in their D 'Hen' A!

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Richard Walker

As Simple As That

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Q. Why do chickens cross the road?

A. Because it's there.

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Richard Walker

Famous Quotation

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Everyone lives in a small village consisting only of themself.

Mo Gentian



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