L'enfant gâté
"But his father had never once infuriated him by asking,
“Why did you do that?'”
– 1 Kings 1:6 (CSB).

Image generated with the assistance of Microsoft Copilot
The following thoughts were prompted
after seeing a child sitting on the supermarket floor screaming and refusing to
move until her mum bought her a toy. The mother gave in. I wondered how this would
unpack as the child grew up. Let’s ponder on this.
A spoiled child is one
who has been overindulged, excessively coddled, or shielded from life’s natural
struggles. Such a child often grows up with an expectation that the world will
bend to their desires, finding it difficult to adjust to a reality that is far
less accommodating. The consequences of this upbringing can be profound,
affecting relationships, career prospects, and personal development well into
adulthood.
Spoiling a child often
begins with well-intentioned parents or parent who wish to provide comfort,
protection, or privilege. They may struggle to say no, overcompensate due to
guilt, or mistakenly equate love with indulgence. The child grows up in an
environment where their needs and wants are met instantly, without effort or
consequence. In the absence of boundaries and discipline, the child learns
entitlement rather than responsibility, preference over patience, and demand
over gratitude.
Though the effects of
spoiling can vary, common traits emerge: an inability to manage disappointment,
poor resilience, a lack of gratitude, and a distorted view of one’s own
importance. These characteristics, while tolerated in childhood, become glaring
liabilities in adulthood.
One of the most immediate
challenges a spoiled child-turned-adult faces is in personal relationships.
Friendships and romantic connections require compromise, patience, and
understanding. The entitlement cultivated in childhood often manifests in
unrealistic expectations of others. They may struggle with rejection, feel
slighted by perceived slights, or demand attention without reciprocation. As a
result, they may experience frequent conflicts, failed relationships, and an
inability to form deep, meaningful connections.
Adulthood is filled with
setbacks—financial difficulties, career disappointments, personal failures—but
resilience is built through experiencing and overcoming hardship. A spoiled
child, having been shielded from struggle, often lacks the emotional strength
to cope with life’s inevitable difficulties. They may react with frustration,
blame external circumstances, or retreat into avoidance. Their emotional
fragility may also make them prone to anxiety or depression when life does not
meet their expectations.
The workforce does not
cater to entitlement. Promotions must be earned, conflicts must be resolved,
and hard work is often required before recognition is given. A spoiled adult
who expects immediate success or special treatment may find themselves frustrated
when reality does not align with their expectations. They may struggle with
authority, take criticism personally, or lack the work ethic necessary to
thrive. As a result, career stagnation, frequent job changes, or professional
isolation can occur.
A child who is handed everything without effort is unlikely to develop
financial discipline. As an adult, they may struggle with budgeting, impulse
control, or saving for the future. Instant gratification—reinforced through
childhood indulgence—can lead to reckless spending, debt accumulation, or an
inability to manage financial independence. Some may continue to rely on their
parents well into adulthood, further delaying their personal growth.
Ironically, a spoiled child often grows into an unfulfilled adult. Having been
given everything, they may find themselves disillusioned when life does not
continue to deliver rewards effortlessly. Without the struggle that gives
meaning to achievement, they may feel a sense of emptiness, always searching
for external sources of happiness like social media rather than developing inner contentment.
Fortunately, a spoiled
childhood does not have to define adulthood. Growth and change are possible,
but they require self-awareness, humility, and effort. Many adults who
recognize their entitlement can begin to reshape their habits—learning
patience, gratitude, and perseverance. Life itself often becomes the greatest
teacher, providing hard lessons that gradually reshape unrealistic
expectations.
Parents, or parent, can
play a role in preventing these difficulties by setting boundaries, teaching
the value of effort, and allowing children to experience and navigate small
struggles early on. Discipline, not indulgence, is the greater act of love, for
it prepares a child to face the world with strength and wisdom.
A spoiled childhood may
seem like a gift in the moment, but it can become a burden in adulthood.
Without the necessary skills to navigate hardship, build relationships, and
contribute meaningfully to society, a spoiled child often faces a life of
disappointment and frustration. However, awareness and intentional change can
reverse these effects, allowing an individual to develop the resilience,
discipline, and humility needed to thrive in the real world. True growth comes
not from constant comfort, but from learning to endure, adapt, and persevere.