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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Went to this outdoor choral event at Hampton Court. Well, it was just amazing.

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Tom Swifty

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“I can eat more than you any day”, Tom scoffed.


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Richard Walker

Tom Swifty

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“My girlfriend got stuck to the chair”, said Tom gloomily.

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Richard Walker

Riddle

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I’m always around you

But never seen.

What am I?

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Double Take

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New blog post

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Q. Dear Auntie, 

What’s the best way to organise a wedding in space?

A. Dear Jane 

Plan it.



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Richard Walker

Cracker Joke

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Q. What do you call the monastery police?

A. Force of habit!

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Richard Walker

Touchy Feely?

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How many tickles would an octopus give you?

Ten!

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Richard Walker

Tongue Twister

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Heard today:

"The fish and chips shop's shut"

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Richard Walker

More haste less speed

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Richard Walker

Interspecies communication

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Why did the duck cross the road?

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To get away from the chicken!

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Richard Walker

Heard down the pub

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I was not waiting but daydreaming.

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Richard Walker

Tom's Problem

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Richard Walker

Birdspotter Joke

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Why did the birdspotter cross the road?

To get to the other hide!

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 3 Jan 2020, 21:56

I finally joined the Clockmaker’s Guild. It’s about time.

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Richard Walker

My Bookshelf

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I love books. Nowadays of course most of my reading is done on a screen but a beautifully printed and bound physical book has a magic that electronic editions cannot match. Here are some interesting books I found in my study and posed for a phtograph.


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Tom Swifty

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“I admire your horse-drawn cab” said Tom handsomely.

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Richard Walker

New Years Resolutions

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 2 Jan 2020, 23:12

Folk Singer Woody Guthrie’s New Years Resolutions from 1943. We can all identify with some of these.

http://www.woodyguthrie.org/newyearsrulins.htm

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Richard Walker

The Retro Sauce Co.

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Our motto is “‘Ketchup’ on all the sauces you've missed”.

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Richard Walker

Cryptic Clue

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Orc swords twisted into puzzling form? (9)

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Richard Walker

59 letter anagram

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 26 Dec 2019, 17:58

I recently discovered the wonderful Guardian Crossword Blog and there I read this astonishing 1982 tour-de-force from the legendary Guardian crossword setter “Araucaria”. The clue was

O hark the herald angels sing the Boy’s descent which lifted up the world (anag), and in what circumstances (5,9,7,5,6,2,5,3,6,2,3,6)

The solution occupied 9 of the down lights (See 2, See 2 etc.) and may be the longest anagram ever to appear in a mainstream crossword puzzle. Hats off to Araucaria!

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Richard Walker

Hogmanay Joke

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Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Sue Doyle and Niven Brawn.

Sue Doyle and Niven Brawn who?

Sue Doyle acquaintance be forgot and Niven Brawn to mind!

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Richard Walker

Cheese Joke

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What do you call a cheese with nothing to interest it? 

A cheese bored!

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Richard Walker

Carols for Pets

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Read at a motorway service station

“—————- church hosts a carol service for owners and pets. Festive favourites include The Collie and the Ivy and Bark the Herald Angels sing.”

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