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Jim McCrory

The Pain of Rejection

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Edited by Jim McCrory, Wednesday 18 February 2026 at 02:04

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The Pain of Rejection

One day in primary school, I noticed that many of my classmates were holding invitations to a girl’s birthday party. During break, I gathered my courage and asked her, “May I have an invitation too?”

She stood with her friends and sang lightly, “Bum, bum, bubble-gum, my mother said you cannot come.”

Children can be carefree with their words, but moments like that linger. Growing up with rejection can feel like carrying a quiet ache you rarely speak about. It hides beneath everyday experiences — being overlooked in friendships, left out of gatherings, misunderstood by those you hoped would understand you most. Even years later, it can resurface unexpectedly, like an old echo in the mind.

But as I began speaking openly with others, something surprising happened: I discovered how universal this feeling is. So many of us carry similar stories. What once felt isolating became something shared — a reminder that we are not alone in our wounds.

Rejection can touch every area of life — school, friendships, work, even family. It can whisper that we are not enough, that we must reshape ourselves to earn belonging. The world often suggests love must be achieved, approval must be secured, identity must be negotiated. In trying to fit expectations, we can slowly forget who we truly are.

Yet rejection has never been the final word.

In John 4:1–42, we meet a woman who knew social exclusion well. She drew water at noon, when others stayed home, perhaps to avoid the weight of watching eyes. Her story carried complexity, stigma, and loneliness. And then Jesus met her — not with condemnation, but with conversation. Not with avoidance, but with living water. He saw her fully and stayed. That encounter did not shame her; it restored her.

During Jesus’ time, rejection carried immense cost. Being put out of the synagogue meant losing spiritual and social belonging. John 9:22 shows parents fearful of admitting their son had been healed, worried about being expelled. In John 12:42–43, even leaders who believed in Jesus hesitated to speak, fearing exclusion. Rejection was powerful then, just as it is today.

Yet Jesus consistently stepped toward the rejected.

In Luke 6:22, He spoke gently to those cast aside for following Him, calling them blessed. He offered a belonging that could not be revoked by human opinion. His welcome did not require performance or perfection.

Scripture itself is filled with unlikely people — John the Baptist with his unusual lifestyle, Matthew the tax collector, Elijah, Elisha, Jonah — individuals who might not have fit neatly into society’s expectations. Yet each was known, called, and deeply loved by God.

For those who carry the memory of exclusion, this truth is steadying: rejection may shape parts of our story, but it does not determine our worth. We are not defined by invitations withheld or approval denied.

The ache of rejection often reveals something deeper — a longing for connection that the world, in all its striving and comparison, cannot fully satisfy. That longing is not weakness; it is a sign that we were created for something enduring.

There is a love that does not fluctuate with popularity, performance, or social standing. A love that doeemains.

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Jim McCrory

The Silent Ache of Rejection

Visible to anyone in the world
Edited by Jim McCrory, Wednesday 23 October 2024 at 20:04


The Silent Ache of Rejection

One day in primary school I noticed many of my classmates had an invitation to a girl’s birthday party. During the break, I found the girl and asked her, “Can I have an invitation?”

She was with her friends, and she sung “Bum, bum, bubble-gum, my mother said you cannot come?”

Growing up with a feeling of rejection is like harbouring a secret shame you do not want anyone to know. It surfaces constantly into childhood moments: when you're overlooked in friendships, uninvited to get-togethers or dismissed by those closest to you. Even as you grow older, the ache surfaces in the hard wiring of the mind, often unspoken but always present. It’s only when I started talking to friends and strangers, I realized how universal this feeling is. Like a camel on the Silk Road, we walk through life carrying this concealed burden shaped not by ourselves, but by a world where selfishness and competition overshadow compassion and connection. And in a society where strength of character prevails, the right to be vulnerable loses out.

Rejection comes in many forms, school, friendships, workmates and family, creating a sense of low self-esteem that shapes how we see ourselves. Society often teaches us that love and acceptance must be earned, leading to a deep-rooted insecurity. This world, broken as it is, encourages us to believe we need to mould ourselves to fit others’ expectations, but in doing so, we lose personal identity.

Yet, this experience of rejection isn’t new. Imagine the scenario, you are a woman. In the search for love, you have moved from one partner to another. In a society that looks down on such, you don’t want to be seen in public, so you leave your home to do your chores when the town rests. One night, a stranger comes along and offers you something that changes your life John 4: 1-42 https://biblehub.com/john/4.htm

 

During Jesus’ time, religious rejection in the form of fear of shunning was an anxiety inducing fear as it is today. The Pharisees held significant influence, using the threat of expulsion from the synagogue to control the people. To be expelled, disfellowshipped, shunned or other shaming protocol, meant losing not only spiritual but also social belonging. Jesus never participated in this cultural pressure. In John 9:22, we see the parents of a man healed by Jesus who were afraid to acknowledge Jesus for fear of being ostracised. Even the Jewish hierarchy figures like Nicodemus who believed in Jesus were afraid to openly confess their faith (John 12:42-43), playing out how deeply the fear of rejection ran.

But Jesus offered refreshment In Luke 6:22, He spoke directly to the rejected, saying they were blessed when others shunned them for following him. He offered an open-armed-welcome that transcended human approval, inviting people into a love that didn’t require denying oneself. In scripture, if truth be told, we meet a strange cast of characters that would be considered to be odd: John the Baptist; Matthew, a tax collector, and no doubt loner in view of his career; Elijah; Elisha; Jonah, and many more. But they all had one thing in common; they loved God and God loved them.

For those of us who’ve felt the sting of rejection, this message is profound. It reminds us that we aren’t defined by the world’s standards or by the rejection we’ve experienced. Instead, we are loved and accepted by God. In a world that often feels fractured and indifferent, this truth offers a sense of belonging that nothing else can.

Ultimately, the ache of rejection points us to something more profound, a lifelong long craving for connection and love that this world will never satisfy. And while rejection may shape parts of our narrative, it doesn’t define us. We are invited into a love that is constant, where we are already enough.


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