"It's not the absence of religion, but the absence of those relationships
that can cause the deepest hurt." (Unknown).
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Throughout my life, I’ve encountered "conditional friends"—people who attach to me, only to fade away when I don't embrace their specific brand of Christianity. This experience has left me questioning what it means to have a true friend. As a Christian, I value my faith deeply, and it shapes who I am. But for many of these friendships, the connection hinges on doctrinal conformity. When I don't meet their expectations, the relationship dissolves, leaving me feeling abandoned.
The crux of this dilemma is whether I should compromise my beliefs to preserve these friendships. Jesus, in His teachings, modelled unconditional love, accepting people as they were and loving them without requiring conformity. True friendship, then, should not demand agreement on every belief; it should be built on mutual respect and love.
I’ve come to realize that friendships based on my doctrinal agreement were never truly about mutual care. The love I longed for was transactional, conditional on my alignment with their views. If a friendship ends because of my faith, it wasn’t truly rooted in love—it was about fitting a mold.
I’m learning that I am not called to abandon my beliefs to keep others close. My role as a Christian is to love others as Christ did—not through dogmatic insistence but through genuine care and compassion. True Christian community isn’t about uniformity; it’s about accepting and loving one another despite differences.
Though it’s painful, I now see that these friendships were not the foundation I thought they were. God will bring the right people into my life—those who will love me for who I am, without expecting me to change. True friendship, like Christ’s love, is unconditional, and that’s the love I strive to embody.