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Republished 14:34 (o'clock in the afternoon) 12th December 2025 from 08:02 Friday 12th December 2025
In Rock, Paper, Scissors, kazoo beats punch
I had a fight with my neighbour's spirit last night. Well, I say 'fight' and I say 'my neighbour' but there wasn't any punching; more a controlling of flailing limbs in a desire to constrain my neighbour's spirit and demand he desist from bothering me while I am asleep. When I say 'neighbour, it could be a malevolent spirit that has tracked me down from the past.
I wasn't alone in tackling my neighbour; I am pretty sure it is him because it is the same one that looms over me and wakes me every night and arrived the day my neighbour moved in five years ago. When I caught him doing it last year he bit my knee. I think another neighbour was also helping me last night; or maybe it was his girlfriend. Either way, the helping spirit seemed to give off associative female tones, so it wasn't Hakim, my spirit guardian; he is more guard than fighter.
The female associated spirit didn't try to wrestle with or hold the nasty and bulky intruder to my home. Instead, she was trying to persuade me to not punch the spirit or constrain him. She, wanted to play music to him with a kazoo. Of course, I ridiculed playing a kazoo as an effective method to quieten the foolish and indignant spirit. My neighbour is so foolish that he thinks he has a right to let his spirit wander where it will; I chose the word 'fool' because it is the closest description of him while he is awake. He is one of those people who pretends to be something he is not. Any light scratch on his veneer of authenticity reveals a gaping maw of emptiness. I might suggest here that our spirits are a reflection of ourselves and while potentially supreme in their abilities cannot exceed the constraints that the dull minds to which they are associated place on them.
A long time ago, I used to cycle twenty something miles (32km +) to visit my mother. Sometimes, I would stay overnight. Every time I stayed she went to bed before I did. I always woke the next day feeling rough and troubled. One time, I decided to test an idea I had. I went to bed before her and quickly went to sleep. I woke refreshed and lively and asked her later how she had slept. 'Terrible,' she said. I knew exactly how she felt.
In the fight with my neighbour's spirit, I had a human bent on hurting it to dissuade it from coming back. You know, pain can act as a powerful reminder to not do the same things that resulted in pain being a consequence. Of course, the female's spirit was right; pain is for humans. When I consider spirits now that I have allowed my thoughts to slow a little and mellow into acceptance, they can fit into tiny nooks and crannies by shrinking their aspect and making themselves denser. Punching a spirit is about as effective as trying to hurt a fart with a spatula; it will merely dissipate and, if the fart had reason, coalesce somewhere else.
I know spirits can be bound with blue rope, but the kazoo is a new one on me. I can't help thinking of snake-charming; but that really suggests I am more of a tyro than I thought. I wonder what tune the female's spirit was about to play. I now wonder if it did actually play a tune and I was, by its effect, compelled to release the wriggling spirit. Oh, I was so angry and bent on attacking. I was searching for a mallet. It is a defense I have never before exacted. Every other time I have persuaded spirits to leave and they go. His spirit touched me though. Ding! Big alarm bell.
Hmm! Maybe the female type spirit was actually Hakim. Oh! Perhaps Harrari came to help me. That would explain why I let go. She has shown her ability to soothe my mind in the past. But I can't really see an alien shouting at me to let go because she wanted to play a kazoo which she was asking me to find and hand her. The spirit world is weird though. I realise that it is possible that in following these seemingly odd instructions, perhaps I would align myself with assuming control over my own spiritual protection; something like letting go of violence and seeking non-combative and ameliorating action. I really don't feel like shaking hands and patting each other on the back in a jovial and friendly fashion right now though.
Good Crikeyness! I still have so much to learn. I think I am mostly benign; like a pet cat that is actually a domesticated wild animal. 'Never pull the tail of a sleeping tiger.' Hopefully, my neighbour has learnt this.