On occasions and at weekends, I like to stay up late and watch random movies. This usually means half way through the third or fourth movie I fall asleep. Waking up at around 4 or 5 in the morning, I tend to switch off the TV and shuffle off to bed.
In the past, you would have woken up to the test card girl playing noughts and crosses with her toy clown, remember her? However now you wake up to some American style telemarketing programme pushing some product that promises to get you fit, make your home spotless or a new revolutionary way to cut raw vegetables. These products of course are never available in shops and postage and packing is always about £6.95. I'm sure you have seen them.
Well the other morning I woke up to a Dick Clark look-a-like and his sidekick selling 146 Country classics. It went on for an hour and I watched the whole thing! What was scary, I actually thought most of the tracks were good. Good tracks! It's Country, I hate Country! It's mundane and sang by annoying Southern American Red Necks in ludicrous cowboy outfits! My teenage rebellious self would never believe this would ever happen, it would be sacrilegious. This isn't Lennon, Dylan, Velvet Underground, Doors, Joplin, Hendrix, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Sex Pistols, Clash, Marley, Nirvana, Sisters of Mercy etc, etc. These were rebels, poets, live fast die young types and not a ten gallon hat amongst them! When I was young the only Country song I liked was the one from Duke's of Hazard'. 'Just a good ol' boys, never meaning no harm....Been in trouble with the law since the day they were born'. To be fair I was probably more interested in the General Lee and Daisy Duke's legs in her ridiculously short, cut off jeans than the theme tune but we all enjoyed Roscoe P Coltranes 'coo goo choo' at the end of the song. 'Go get him Flash.'
So why do I find myself thinking Dolly Parton or Glen Campbell are all right? Glen Campbell, it makes me shudder just typing that name, I also have to confess I now actually own a Jonny Cash album and I prefer his version of Hurt to Nine Inch Nails, I hang my head in shame. Well back to the question, I think it's because I'm getting old. It creeps up on you in your thirties and by the time you turn forty I think one of two things happen. Either you have a mid-life crisis, you buy a red sports car trade in your missus for an incredibly younger model and act your shoes size not your age. Or you resign yourself to the fact you can no longer be bothered, you have nothing to rebel against and you start finding comfort in non-threatening things like bland music.....Country and all the while telling anyone who listens how it was 'different when I was a lad'.
When I was a teenager and in my twenties I could party the whole weekend on the minimum of sleep. During the summer we would go night clubbing until 2am then make are way to King Eddies bay in Tynemouth, build a fire, drink too much while watching the sun come up. Get home in time to grunt at your Mam as she gets up and you get in. Sleep until the afternoon and get up to start the whole process again on Saturday night. We knew everything from how to end world hunger to the importance a certain song or book had on western culture. Now I realise I know very little and we still have world hunger, so much for changing the world! Today, the more important question is why am I losing my hair on my head but gaining it everywhere else! You think 'Countryfile' and 'Antiques Roadshow' are decent entertainment on an evening instead of 'Friday Night Live' and 'The Young Ones'. You watch 'Grumpy Old Men' and find yourself agreeing with everything Rick Wakeman says.
I have become what I was so certain wouldn't happen to me and you know what, I don't care. Now where is that order hotline number to get those 146 Country hits, £49.96 plus £6.95 p+p that's less than 40p a track, bargain.
All comments welcome.