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Another Dose of the Clap

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Edited by Aideen Devine, Sunday, 11 Oct 2020, 09:32

Why, thank you, thank you for that wonderful round of applause for all us hard-working NHS workers, you’re much too kind, no really you are, we don’t really deserve it, after all, we’re just doing our job, but thank you, again!

3 weeks now and doesn’t it just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and evoke that old Dunkirk spirit, yes because we are a nation, we’re all pulling together to ‘Save the NHS’ and ‘Save Lives’. Because we’re all in this together and, ‘We have to do it, to get through it!’

And all the children with their pretty rainbow pictures up in windows because you can’t leave the children out, you gotta get them programmed early too, sorry, I mean you’ve got to include them too. Yes we must always be inclusive, include them while they’re young! Altogether now - ‘Children! Children! Future! Future! Children are the future - KIDS!’

And who’s leading the clap this week but none other than Boris Johnson’s pregnant girlfriend Carrie Symonds – aawww! Because you just know she’ll be delivering her baby in an NHS hospital and, by the way, does anyone know what hospital Boris is being treated in, could it possibly be a private one? But still wasn’t it good of her…aawww!.

There are just so many who care, I mean, we already had Prince Charles, who never put foot in an NHS hospital for anything other than to pull the curtain back on a plaque with his name on it. And the Beckham’s too, who live in the US and again, haven’t seen the inside of an NHS hospital for decades.  After all, the NHS isn’t for the likes of them, oh no, it’s just for us plebs but isn’t it great to see they are so concerned about us and caring or could it be that maybe they are just concerned about something else? Like maybe, if they don’t keep everyone indoors the NHS will be overwhelmed and people will see how much it has been starved of funding for the last 20 years. I mean when I drive in every morning, the signs from the recent strikes are still hanging outside ‘Safe Staffing, Save Lives’. Short memories, eh? So, maybe their motivation is not really to save lives but to save their own jobs, their own necks and their own privileged lifestyles? After all, you don’t want the plebs rising up in a revolution and demanding fair treatment or decent services for their taxes so let’s keep trotting out the feel good propaganda and shovelling the shit down the throats of the little people.

So, well done, everyone, it’s so good to see everyone turning out to support the NHS, but wasn’t there just a small part of you that felt like one of those sea lions, you used to see on variety shows years ago, who sat up on their little plinths and clapped to order?


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