So, the IPCC is terrorising the population again with their tales of impending climate catastrophe! It’s not just climate-change or global-warming, there is a climate catastrophe coming our way!

 'We're doomed, we're all doomed!'  

Ok, before you all head for the hills, or loot the local supermarket to stock up for the Armageddon that is, supposedly, just around the corner, let me just say, don't panic, don't panic!  

When it comes to global-warming, because I believe in global warming, I know you thought I didn’t but it is a real thing and the amazing thing is, I figured it out all by myself!  Woo hoo!  So,  just to set your mind at rest, here is how it works and this is all you need to know about it - every day the sun comes up and warms the earth, and here is the important bit, every night the sun goes down and the earth cools down again.  See, simple, really when you think about it!

Ok everyone, panic over, relax, drop your shoulders and breathe!  Aaaahhhhhh...now let's be realistic about this, what difference would 1.5 degrees really make in your life or the life of the planet?  Little or no difference because no matter how hot is gets during the day, that temperature never stays the same and even when it is hot, it's only hot for a few hours because that temperature goes up and down every day, up and down, changing all the time because that's the thing about the temperature, it is seldom the same in any two places for very long. 

'But it was really hot this year and not just here but in other places?' I hear you say.  Yes, it was hot, it was summer, and we had a good one, for a change!    I remember we had one back in 1995 and in 1976, and back in the day, when we got a hot summer or a bit hotter than average(?!) we called them 'heatwaves'.  Someone even wrote a song about them, you may know it, 'We're having a heatwave, a tropical heatwave!  The temperature's rising, it isn't surprising...because it was the summer, that’s why!  Maybe the IPCC could adopt it as their theme tune.  This is a bit like the hurricane Harvey terror of 2017, there was a hurricane in a place called Hurricane Alley at a time called hurricane season!  I know! Go figure??!!

But, back to global-warming/climate change.  Back in the middle-ages, the earth went through a warming period, it was so warm, the Danes were living and farming on Greenland, see, the clue is in the name, 'green' land.  Logic would dictate that if the Danes were able to farm on Greenland then the Arctic ice must also have been gone.  Did the world drown in 100 metre sea rises?  No, it didn't, because even if the ice poles melt, the sea will only rise by about 8 inches.  If you think about this logically, it makes sense too.  The Arctic is ice and the majority of that ice is under the water.  Now, when water freezes, it expands so if the ice melts in the Arctic, it will contract, so won't really add that much to the oceans.  Antarctica is bigger than the Arctic but it is a continent, land with ice on it but again like the rest of the planet, it goes through seasons so even if it warms up a bit in the summer, it will cool down and freeze again in the winter.  Also, a recent report from Antarctica identified that the ice in Antarctica was melting from underneath not from above.  It was melting because of volcanic activity below the ice, not temperature rises above the ice. 

So, there we go, panic over, nothing to worry about here...well, apart from pollution from plastic, species loss, fishing the oceans dry, incompetent leaders, deforestation, junk food, fake news, obesity... Oh, and you are doomed, sorry about the bad news but we are all going to die, some day, maybe even today!  But then again, maybe not, so to leave you on a happier note, while we are here, lets live a little or live a lot, if you can, enjoy each day as it comes and if you are really worried about the planet, then plant some flowers or a tree or two, then sit back, relax and enjoy the day for what it is and don't worry about the earth.  It has survived worse than mankind and will in all probability outlive us too. 

Ok, panic over, resume your positions and carry on…