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Loose plan for right livelihood

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Edited by Richie Cuthbertson, Tuesday, 31 Jan 2023, 20:04

Been slowly getting back into the swing of studying again after a lengthy break, which I needed. This time I will be studying Cyber Security. So far I am finding it interesting and after the painful slog that was 'Algorithms' it makes a refreshing change. It got me thinking that perhaps this would tick the box for right livelihood in the noble eightfold path. Noting how much of our infrastructure is online now and vulnerable to cyber attack. So learning how to defend it would be of benefit to others So feel this would be a livelihood that would not cause harm to other beings. It is peaceful and comes from a wish for others to be safe, well, happy, and peaceful. 

 I must also look after my health though, right livelihood is about not causing harm to oneself as much as others. So I must remember that it is in service to the noble eightfold path. It will pay the bills and ensure I can eat, stay warm and survive. But meditation practise is important to me, it is like food for the heart and mind, and I need to ensure I am in good health so I can practise that. So planning to work part time from home when I graduate; one of the plusses about the Covid pandemic was this ability now to be able to work from home. This has opened up opportunities for me that weren't there before.

I remembered a friend telling me I could perhaps make some money from writing, but wasn't sure how I could go about it. And then the thought occurred to me, cyber security is quite a confusing topic because there is a lot of conflicting information about it, and that if I get the hang of it, I could perhaps write about this topic and writing is something I can do from home, so perhaps I can combine writing and what I learn from my studies into a livelihood, and I thought aye that would be of benefit to others and myself, it would not cause harm, and I liked the idea (-:

This is just a loose plan, and like everything in life, it could change, but the looseness of it gives it some flexibility. And writing it down was a useful exercise, it will help me not forget, and I now have a general direction for right livelihood, which has been something that I have been stuck with for some time. 




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me

Inner wealth

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Edited by Richie Cuthbertson, Tuesday, 22 Feb 2022, 13:00

Focusing on getting this assignment done for the module I am studying. Fatigue is quite challenging at the moment, I find myself reaching a point where I just have to stop and rest, because the body says: 'Nope'. 

I have been granted a four day extension for the assignment after emailing my tutor, although he didn't reply to let me know I have an extension. I only just found out by checking my assessment tab. He is probably really busy and that's why he didn't reply, either that or doesn't like me very much. I imagine I am just being paranoid with the latter conclusion. 

It is a problem I have where I often feel like others dislike me.I am trying to learn how to have the courage to be disliked, so it doesn't affect me anymore. The thoughts are challenging though, whirring away on loops reminding me I am crap and everyone hates me, I should top myself... blah blah blah, so tiring, and the more I try to stop them the worse they get, like some part of my brain is determined to make me feel miserable. It no doubt comes from past conditioning. 

Meditation has been somewhat helpful in giving me some ability to disengage from the thought processes and just let them happen in the background like any of the other senses without being particularly concerned by them. Maybe it is true that people don't like me much. But I give up trying to please others, it is a miserable existence trying to live like that. I try my best with this difficult mind I have, I'm not perfect, and doubt I ever will be, but I am trying. 

Pain and pleasure; wealth and misfortune; success and failure; praise and blame. These are the eight worldly winds.

Ultimately we are all alone, we are all islands, locked into our minds. I am trying to practise self-compassion and how to be a friend to myself, even when my brain seems determined to be my enemy. I will keep trudging forward and persevere.  

 Anyway quarantine certainly gives me plenty of time to hopefully finish this assignment, it is not easy and the materials are challenging. Still if I can get the hang of it, my career prospects may improve, although energy is a big factor causing me problems just now. Often need to liedown and sleep when the fatigue gets overwhelming. I honestly do not think I will ever be able to work full time again, many of the jobs in Computing and IT are fulltime, but I just can't work the long hours expected, so not sure where all this studying will lead in the end. 

There's not much I can do about it, other than try my best. It is a bloody difficult world at the moment for many of us. Economics is messed up and cost of living is getting ridiculous, perhaps we are heading towards a 'hunger games' society. It is not an easy world to survive in and make a living. But I don't feel like my life has been for nothing, I may not be a success careerwise, but I have discovered the dhamma and the Buddha's teachings in my lifetime, which is more than the majority of people do. And when I die those teachings will be with me, so I won't feel confused or regret for having wasted my life. I might be a loser by worldly material standards, but I very much feel like a winner when it comes to the spiritual life, when it comes to unworldly standards. So despite my financial struggles, my health problems, this life has not been wasted. It has been a turning point, a time of spiritual growth, which in the end is the most important thing of all.


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