The clock shop I work for asked me to stay late. I was working overtime.

What colour gives you wind? Burple.

Apparently they've found a way to make explosives from poo. I call it bang out of ordure.

Proof of the existence of extraterrestrial life!

We often hear the phrase, “The fur flew”. Would that be hairo-o-dynamics?

From today’s Times Quick Cryptic, set by Joker.

Half the alphabet? This was split some time ago (4)

I bought myself an attack worm. Waste of money, it was spineless.

One of the planes a friend crewed in times gone by has been taken out of service and will be recycled but people who worked on her in the early days were offered a piece of the plane as a memento. My friend chose a window and brought it to the pub where it attracted great interest.

Here is the plane it came from. It was window 6 on the left hand side.

Registration- G-EZPG

First Flight - 21/01/2005

Type - Airbus A319-111

Serial Number - 2385

Engines - x2 CFM56-5B5/P

Total Hours - 44,668 (21.09.21)

https://www.newscientist.com/lastword/mg25333791-400-this-weeks-new-questions/

Our garden has a brick planeter, a bit like a wishing well with no well. It was overgrown when we moved here and we never did anything with it until about four years back, when we planted some lavender and a tine holly tree.

Neither exactly thrived, so we decided to redevelop the site. Lavender and holly have been replanted, we hope in a better spot, and we've put in new plants, fewer, but with a more consious design.

The central plant is a quince.This one is ornamental (I think people call these Japonica) but edible quices are a fruit related to apple and pears, and once eaten widely in this country; now unusual and hard to obtain here, although still common in some othe European countries. If you'd like a recipe for baked quince, just ask in the comments.

Why can Dalmatian dogs never hide? Because they’re always spotted!

See https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/viewpost.php?post=244360

Given all three labels are wrong, there are only two possible combinations.

1) Label A & P - contents A    Label A - contents P   Label P - contents A & P  

2) Label A & P - contents P    Label A - contents A & P   Label P - contents A  

If we take a fruit from A & P as we are permitted inspecting it will tell which of 1) and 2)  is correct.