I never know how much to tip. Could I get away with 50% of my waste?
Personal Blogs
Commencing with the Swiss philosopher Rousseau, we have have heard much of Political Economy, but little of Political Geometry. This need immediate remedy.
The term 'right', 'left', and 'centre', were originally the seating arrangements (members of the respective parties being grouped together on the benches) in the French Assembly established following the French Revolution.
In our complex world I don't think this simplistic plan will survive.
We need at least
'up' and 'down', and at minimum another dimension: for example 'in' and 'out'.
The meeting chamber will be hard to architect but a new challenge is always welcome, and I would be willing to put my prodigious talents at the project's disposal for a very modest fee, as usual.
All this stuff about the Far Left and the Far Right. It's time we heard for the Far Middle.
Is Aleksandr the only one saying, "Don't leave the single Meerkat?"
Apparently we've reversed our thinking on sea-birds many times. It's described in a new book, About Terns.
All you know, our Merry Mottoes for Yuletide are written by Elves.
From the falling-in of the shoe trade our Elvish with-workers have turned their hands to other things of craft, and riddles are one of their most lofty skills. Though highly poetic our elves still keep hints of their Anglo-Saxon beginnings. The new-writer will better these kennings ere Yuletide is nigh.
Their latest work (only in feoh testing at this point ) is seen here-under.
Mighty am I, from foot far to flank.
Towering above others, my face and brow forbidding.
What am I?
All the kids loved kittens. So did Drew.
Except she loved them best in stew.
I asked only once.
"He used to keep pigeons", she said.
... are once more re-employed (they call it "zero hours" in the freezing weather!) & working tirelessly (they have no wheels) to prepare new & snappy cracks for your Xmas Amusement.
This year we have split the Elves into two teams. One writes the mottoes and another, smaller, team works on the visual design. (The frilly bits round the edges.)
Naturally the content must come first, and we will "road-test every jest" before it is put into production. Here is Joke #1, which we are allowing selected users early access to.
Question: Why are 'i' and 't' the smartest letters?
Answer: Because they are extremely intelligent.
When fir away
I pine for yew.
Cynical: Popcorn
Power now.
Data later.
Frankenstein Votes To Quit Monster Community - It's Out For The Count!
One day Big Lemming called an assembly.
"It is time", said Big Lemming, "For us to cast ourselves into the Ocean. Such is the destiny of Lemmings."
But one young lemming, called Lemuel (Lemmy for short) asked "Why?"
A gasp of horror ran round the burrow. The hair of all the mature lemmings stood on end.
"Well... well because!", spluttered Big Lemming. "It's what lemmings do."
"Why?" said Lemmy. "Silly old tradition if you ask me."
His mum, his dad, his gran and every one in his kinship circle said: "If you don't don't know why, we aren't going to tell you!" They were weak on argumentation.
But Lemmy simply said: "Phooey! Chuck yourself into the silly old sea. I'm staying right here on the clifftop."
And so he did. All the others flung themselves into the sea and perished, but Lemmy survived.
Unfortunately he soon began to miss his fellow lemmings and wondered if he had failed to reach out them. Broken by remorse, he threw himself off the cliff.
MORAL
Traditions are only a social construct, but they get most of us in the end.
Erwin Schrödinger.
In or out? Which is it to be? Don't go in and then ask to come back out again.
Felix
Miaow.
Both in and out at the same time. Only the collapse of the political wave function will decide which.
The dog begged to be taken out.
The cat wanted out, but then it wanted straight back in.
The canary got out, but the cat ate it.
The hamster slept through it all.
The tiny country of Sweetieland was rocked tonight as the Allsorts party wrested power from the Toffs. Although the election was close, observers said the Allsorts victory was "in the bag".
A spokesperson for the Allsorts declared people had been fed up with humbug and fudge.
You advertised a GSOH
But you were only having a laugh with me.
This has always been one of my favorite poems, and I have never understood those who wanted to throw up walls.
No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend's
Or of thine own were:
Any man's death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.
Other members of the Full English Breakfast Community were left stunned this morning when the Sausage voted to jump out of the Frying Pan at the earliest opportunity.
Interviewed soon after the surprise "out" vote, the Sausage insisted the Fire was "a new dawn".
FEBC officials said the Sausage's action posed a serious threat and similar action by the Bacon would be rasher.
I used to have a newspaper column. But eventually it fell over.
The best teacher is the one that listens to the pupil.
Swifts
So sorry I was late and missed you
This Summer's night.
Statistics exam Monday. I'm feeling confident. Apparently 8 out of 10 candidates pass.
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