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Richard Walker

Tongue-Twister

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 1 Dec 2020, 01:23

Repeat five times after me

"On an anonymous ominous omnibus."

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Richard Walker

Christmas Mondegreen

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 1 Dec 2020, 00:57

I like this Mondegreen. Although it's entered into the folklore, and is found on numerous websites, it has the ring of a genuine Mondergreen; a bit like "Gladly, the cross-eyed bear".

"We three kings of porridge and tar."

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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I worked with a men’s neckwear company for many years. But it’s all over now, and we've severed our ties.

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Richard Walker

Listen up linguaphiles!

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I've just (10 mins ago) bought a marvellous book

THE LANGUAGE LOVER’S
PUZZLE BOOK Lexical Complexities and Cracking Conundrums from Across the Globe ALEX BELLOS

Bellos, Alex; Bellos, Alex. The Language Lover’s Puzzle Book: Lexical perplexities and cracking conundrums from across the globe.

It's only just been published but what sold it to me was Alex's talk from the Royal Institution

https://www.rigb.org/whats-on/events-2020/november/public-the-puzzle-of-language

It also made me subscribe to the Royal Institution. I remember the physical building from visits in my teenage years, where we sat in the same room where Michael Faraday lectured, and the lecturer stood behind the same laboratory bench. I've watched a few lectures on YouTube but I've probably missed some good ones, so now I'll get alerts.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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The police caught me in their dragnet. First they threw an edible water plant over me. Then they shouted, “You’re under a cress!”

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Richard Walker

Electors

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Why are the other 25 Ectors being ignored? We demand the truth.

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Richard Walker

Electors

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Suppose inhabitants of Diss in Norfolk UK had been left without voting rights, as a result of some historical mix-up, and this anomaly was corrected. Then they’d be Diss-enfranchised. Hmm.


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Richard Walker

Response To W.H.Davies

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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 30 Nov 2020, 02:22

Davies

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?

Me

I often have the time to sit and muse,
Especially when I’ve had a lot of booze.

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Richard Walker

Epsom Downs

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There actually is a place called Epsom Downs. Think about it.

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Richard Walker

Onliner ant joke

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We hear a lot about soldier ants. But what about noncombatants?

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Richard Walker

Genius

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The famous American inventor Thomas Edison said genius is 1% inspiration and 99% persperation. He never gave up.

For example he invented the heavy bulb, a total failure.

So he moved on to invent the light bulb, which did a lot better.

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Richard Walker

Another crossword clue

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 29 Nov 2020, 01:24

Died at sea from backing hidden word? (7)

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Richard Walker

Clever crossword clue

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Responsive device when a person is out (11)

See comments for solution.

Permalink 3 comments (latest comment by Richard Walker, Saturday, 28 Nov 2020, 23:21)
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Richard Walker

Stir Rating

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Please rate this porridge, on a scale of 1-5 stirs.

🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄

Permalink 2 comments (latest comment by Richard Walker, Monday, 30 Nov 2020, 00:05)
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Richard Walker

Playground Joke

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What Came Before Toucans?

Onecans!

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Richard Walker

Help Needed

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I couldn't think of a word meaning the same as kayak. Canoe?

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Judith McLean, Saturday, 28 Nov 2020, 16:57)
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Richard Walker

One Liner

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My policy about sweeping away cobwebs is put it off until the last possible moment. I call it Dust in Time.

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Richard Walker

Enunciation

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It’s hard for singers of classical music to sing so listeners can pick up the words.

They are usually expected to sing in several languages not their first, and even native speakers of the language the performance is in often struggle to understand the singer.

Following on from the Berkeley research described a post or so back, maybe subtitles ahead of each phrase would help people pick out the words.

 


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Richard Walker

Storm Precautions

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Experts say Seniors who walk with a stick should avoid extreme weather and reach home quickly. Learn more about our assistive technology at hurry-cane.com
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Richard Walker

Pop-outs

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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 27 Nov 2020, 21:52
In this experiment you will hear snippets of garbled speech that are almost impossible to understand. After each snippet has played you will hear the undistorted version, and immediately hear the garbled version a second time. Amazingly, you can now understand what you couldn't make out at all just a few seconds ago!

Click on the link below to start the experiment.

Try the garbled speech experiment yourself


Researchers have found that when this experiment is carried out with subjects who have electrode on the suface of their brains, the garbled speech evokes little electrical activity the first time round, but after the subject has been told what the words are the garbled speech produces a similar pattern to the clear speech. They have now "tuned in" and can hear what they couldn't before. More about this fascinating effect can be found here.
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Richard Walker

Earworm

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I'm currently suffering from an earworm. An earworm is a snatch of music that you can't get out of your head. In my case it's "The clouds will soon roll by", sung in 1932 by Elsie Carlisle, with Ambrose and his orchestra.

Somewhere the sun is shining
So, honey, don't you cry
We'll find a silver lining
The clouds will soon roll by

This keeps popping into my head at odd moments throughout the day. I'm familiar with it from the sound track to the BBC series Pennies from Heaven but I haven't listened to it for ages. Why I should suddenly think of it now I don't know. Maybe the optimism of it appeals to me.

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Richard Walker

Two Daffinitions

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Paradox: Two dogs.

Orthodoxy: Look at all those dogs!

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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My friend replaced his chandelier with a ceiling fan. I never looked at him in the same light again.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Is graffiti doomed? The writing’s on the wall.

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Richard Walker

mindlessness haiku

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Spell-checker claimed

No word mindlessness exists

Wrong, see OED.

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