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Richard Walker

Funny number plate

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DO61 ARF

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Richard Walker

Audley End - the kitchen range

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Richard Walker

Audley End

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On Saturday went to Audley End in Essex. Very impressive home and parkland x designed I think by capability Brown. Here is the house. More to follow.


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Richard Walker

St Patrick and the Snakes

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According to legend, St Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland, which gives rise to one of my favourite jokes.

“What did St Patrick say when he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

“Are ye all right in the back there, Snakes?”

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Richard Walker

Origin of a well-known phrase

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On night two dogs were trying to barge open the kitchen door, hoping to get in and steal some food. But the door was too heavy and so they couldn’t open it.

“I know” said one dog, “Let’s ask the cat to help.” 

“What good will that do?” asked the other.

“Well I think we’ll be able to manage it, if Puss comes to shove.”

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Richard Walker

Polish Tongue Twister

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Lola loyola

Lola neeyay loyola.

(“Lola is loyal, Lola in not loyal.” I’ve used English spelling which I hope is a reasonable approximation.)

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Richard Walker

Spring

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Richard Walker

Tongue-Twister

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Here's a tongue-twister I made up.

When my over-oiled overalls need overhauling it falls to my overalls overhauler to overhaul my over-oiled overalls.

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Richard Walker

My Robin

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Here's my garden robin, obligingly posing for the camera.






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Richard Walker

Astronomy Joke

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What astronomical feat does a barber perform? Eclipse.

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Richard Walker

10 Colour Joked

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What colour is the wind? Blue.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot. A carrot.

What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

What colour lets you into your car? Khaki.

What’s blue and not very heavy? Light blue.

What colour makes you feel bunged up? Gold.

What colour might you get in your side? Fawn.

What colour leaves you stranded? Maroon.

What colour marks 0 degrees of longitude? The Greenwich Veridian.

What colour would you paint a bucket? Pale blue.

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Richard Walker

Winter Aconites

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These winter aconites were photographed in the grounds of Wimpole Hall.


The plant is a serious poison that can cause cardiac arrest, which I didn't know and which surprised me. Another name for it is 'wolfsbane', apparently because it was once believed to be good for wolf bites. 

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Richard Walker

Dad Joke

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What do bakers call zero? Muffin!

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Richard Walker

The First Crocuses

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Richard Walker

AI Art

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I've been looking at Midjourney, an Artificial Intelligence that can generate images from short phrases or a group of keywords. Here's what it generated for 'The restaurant at the end of the universe'. It only took a few seconds.


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Richard Walker

Some Kinds Of Tuit

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The round tuit (that you haven't got one of).

The jump tuit and the hop tuit.

The up tuit (that you don't fee0.

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Richard Walker

Dad Joke

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I worked for a while designing cul-de-sacs. But then I realised it was a dead end job.
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Richard Walker

Modegreen

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I thought I was buying jellied eels but it turned out to be a special offers on selected jellies.

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Richard Walker

Tim's Drink

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 10 Jan 2023, 01:29


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Richard Walker

Exlixir of Life

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At last! After decades of toil in my Alchemical Laboratory, I have found the Elixir of Life.

Turns out to be a thin watery soup, which I’ve named The Holy Gruel.

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Richard Walker

Vicious Circle

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 5 Jan 2023, 17:53


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Richard Walker

AI Generated Joke

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ChatGTP, an online AI engine, came up with this, which is not bad

Why did the cat join the Red Cross? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

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Richard Walker

The Ice World

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Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.

Robert Frost, Fire and Ice
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44263/fire-and-ice

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Richard Walker

Some Anglo-Saxon Fruits

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Cirse

Peru

Plume

Winberge

Æppel

Blækberie

EhoÞberge



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Richard Walker

Relativity

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 21 Dec 2022, 23:13
When you are very young, you change faster than in the world around you,
And for your, time passes slowly.
But when you grow old, the world charges faster than you do,
Now time passes quickly for you.
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