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Richard Walker

Doctor, Doctor Joke

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"Doctor, doctor I hate DIY!" 

"Well don't then!"

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Richard Walker

Ms Goldilocks Regrets

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 5 May 2016, 22:03

Dear Bear Family

I hope you will not mind me writing, on behalf of Ms Goldilocks, to convey her most sincere and heartfelt apologies for any misunderstanding that may have occurred.

My clent now realises that she unintentionally mis-entered a private space and unwittingly consumed breakfast food that was private property and not in the public domain as she believed.

Ms Goldilocks has instructed me to make clear that she is anxious to recompense any financial loss involved. Please send us your estimate for replacing the porridge concerned, stating your preferred temperature, and we will do our best to respond in a timely manner.

Yours faithfully,

    C Real

Senior Partner

Scoffit, Quick, and Run



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Richard Walker

Breathtaking Haiku

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Usually a poem should stand alone and require no context.

However please consider this.

"Dragonfly hunter, what place are you rambling to today?"

The writer had a young son who died.

This is her question.

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Richard Walker

Walk slow

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Walk slow. You'll see more.

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Richard Walker

The Kindest Kiss

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The wind's breath,

That's the kindest kiss of all.

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Richard Walker

"At Dawn and Dusk"

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 30 Apr 2016, 22:03

Be up at dawn and dusk

To hear the birds explain

A little of the riddle.


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Richard Walker

"The Obstacle is the Path"

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"The Obstacle is the Path"

The Observant see where the deer

Squeeze through the hedge.


You used to say

"Many would love you, given permission"

I'm still trying to

Find my way through.

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Richard Walker

Life's a Bright Stream

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 27 Apr 2016, 22:37

Life's a bright stream

Which every traveller should pause and gaze into.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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There's a resistance movement against teaching formal grammar in schools. It's called "they shall not parse.”

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Richard Walker

New blog post

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Two-way loss.

It's a bad deal.

Don't die.

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Richard Walker

Bright Stream Again

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Thank goodness I can still

See your eyes

Reflected in the bright stream.

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Richard Walker

Catchup

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 26 Apr 2016, 23:40

I've been eating time

Now it's eating me.

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Richard Walker

I bought a book

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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 25 Apr 2016, 21:15

I've just bought 'Poems that make grown men cry'. I thought the title was a bit cheesy, to tell you the truth, but when I dipped into into the book, courtesy of Amazon's 'Look inside' I was hooked. The selection is a knock out, all the poems I've read so far were stunning. If the book gets more people keen on poetry, which I think it will, then I'll forgive the title!

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Richard Walker

Meeting Lane

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Black and white cat

Come and sniff

I'm a friend, don't be scared.

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Richard Walker

Bad night out

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So I took Will down the Swan and he got in an argument and was barred.

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Richard Walker

One liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 24 Apr 2016, 18:43

I wondered why my newspaper felt so cold.Then I realised it had poor circulation.

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Richard Walker

Against Time

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Time, you bastard!

How can we be friends.

When you're just

Trying to do us all in?

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Richard Walker

Typo Definition #1

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 21 Apr 2016, 23:02

eadership

noun

  • no-one actually at the front.
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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Someone left me some drawing pins in their will. Turned out they were inheritance tacks.

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Richard Walker

Albert's Ad Annoyance - Terrible Tongue Twister

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 20 Apr 2016, 02:35

I came up with this tonight, and it seems pretty tough to read aloud. Give it a try and write back!

What Andrea is, is annoyed by anedoids ads.

As any adenoidally ad annoyed Andrea is annoyed by anedoids ads.

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Richard Walker

Ruthless Limericks #1

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 17 Apr 2016, 22:00

A certain young gourmet named Grice

Reckoned crispy roast wombat was nice.

He said' "There's a dearth,

For they live in the earth.

But I'll dig you one up in a trice."

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Richard Walker

Tonight

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 17 Apr 2016, 01:36

At that moment

A bright cold halo

Appeared round the moon

An owl hooted.


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Richard Walker

The Compound Eye

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A dragonfly's

Steady gaze.
Mount Fuji.

Issa

Our eyes let us see further than a dragonfly can, but from the time of Galileo we have explored how we can extend our reach, not just to gaze at the mountains, but to penetrate the heavens. And for that we use telescopes.

The first optical telescopes were very small, at least by modern standards. For example, one of Newton's seems to have a diameter of about 50 mm. 

But subsequently the diameter of telescopes has doubled and redoubled many times, as various construction problems have been overcome.

The first telescopes used lenses, but starting with Newton's, reflecting telescopes have dominated, because it's much less difficult to manufacture big mirrors than it is big lenses.

Why does size matter? Because a bigger diameter means, in simple terms, a bigger magnification.

So there are three really big telescopes planned to come into operation 2020s (hopefully). The biggest telescope at present is the Keck, which is 10 m across, so collects 40,000 times as much light as Newton's, if I have my sums right. The new ones proposed will be 25 m, 30 m, and the largest of all, the European Extremely Large Telescope, at 39 m.

This giant dragonfly eye won't be just one huge mirror, it will be made of 798 hexagons, each 1.44 m across a compound mirror, just as dragonfly sees through compound lenses.

And in case you wondered the EELT won't physically be in Europe, for practical reasons, but in Chile.

The EELT and the other big telescopes will let us take pictures of exoplanets. These are planets orbiting other stars from ours. Many of these have been discovered but usually their existence is only inferred, from regular periodic changes in the light we observe from the star, as the planet comes between it and us. Only in a score of cases can we even observe the planet as a separate object from its star.

When a promising new exoplanet is discovered the media often feature illustrations of what it looks like, particularly if there is any possibility that it could harbour life. But these are merely the imaginative work of artists, not real pictures captured by telescopes.

The new generation telescopes will change this. For the first time we shall be able to actually see exoplanets orbiting their stars. We shall have come a long way from Galileo's observation of Jupiter being circled by its moons. 

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Richard Walker

SWISS LEADER SLAMMED

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Swiss leader William Tell was heavily criticised last night for being "Too obsessed with targets".

Herr Tell's office was unavailable for comment.

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Richard Walker

Untitled

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Why was the word "posesses" embarrassed to be seen in public?

Because it was under-essed.

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