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Richard Walker

One Liner

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I'd never wear my hair in a bun. For me that would be a top not.

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All the Bairns (= Alla Barnen)

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All the kids loved school meals,

Except Mag.

She said they made her gag.


All the kids loved school meals,

Except Duke.

He said they made him puke.


All the kids loved school meals,

Except Nick.

He said they made him sick.


All the kids loved school meals,

Except Drew.

She said they made her spew.








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Richard Walker

Sappho and Rudy Vallee : As Time Goes By

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 22 May 2016, 22:01

A kiss is still a kiss

Why make me wait like this?

I lie alone and sigh.

Oh please don't make me cry,

As time goes by.


I lie here waiting: yet

The moon and stars have set,

But still alone I lie.

Still gazing at the sky,

As time goes by.


http://www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2014/sep/05/poster-poems-sappho-reinterpreted-billy-mills

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXwS7yLOYt4



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Richard Walker

Alla Barnen

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All the kids looked after the gerbils, except Nat.

He fed them to the cat.



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Richard Walker

Beauty and the Beast

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This is a wild flower I spotted today, very close to where I live. I saw it was a cranesbill, called that because plants in this group have seedpods that look like the bill of a crane. They encapsulate a rather neat way of seed dispersal.

But which cranesbill? I've not seen it there before and I wasn't familiar with the species.

A bit of searching showed it is the 'cut leaved cranesbill', widespread in Europe. Although it's not rare at all, I can't remember seeing it anywhere before.

But this same, shy little plant, when introduced into North America, transmuted into an invasive species, and a 'noxious' weed'. I don't think anyone would have guessed that from looking at it.

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Richard Walker

Sappho's Poem: Make Love Not War

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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 20 May 2016, 23:15

I just can't

get my head round why

Someone would love: a fly-by; a march-past; an armada

Instead of you.

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Richard Walker

Long Centipede Haiku

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I found a centipede in my bath

And tenderly preserved it

As proof that I am not alone.

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Richard Walker

Kiss Me

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For if you kiss my eyes

I will be wise

For if I kiss your hand

You will understand 

For if we kiss and kiss again

The heat of kisses will remain.


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Richard Walker

Dear Ghost

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I saw you waiting

Under the outside light.

You turned and smiled

I wish you hadn't.

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Richard Walker

Limerick - Tribute to E Lear

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There was an old fellow of Knock

Who thought that his wife was a clock.

He spent all his time

Trying to get her to chime

That silly old fellow of Knock.

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Richard Walker

Dusk

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Just as the sun dropped

At every hand

Thrushes sang.

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Richard Walker

Banality

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 12 May 2016, 00:02

Evidence grows that ality is bad for us. It's something we can't take too much of.

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Richard Walker

Be Happy!

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The title is translated from an ancient Greek epitaph I once read: "Χερε", that is, "Be happy".

Please ask yourself this question before you read further.

On a scale of 0 to 10, where 0 = not at all happy and 10 = completely happy, how happy were you yesterday?

Now you have answered please read on.

A French philosopher once memorably said, "When a man asks himself whether he is happy, he ceases to be so". This is perceptive but it's not a truth of human existence, more an observation that who, or what, asks you a question may influence − not just how you answer, but also what your answer is. This "framing" is the subject of a sketch from "Yes Minister".

However since 2012 the UK has being collecting statistics about whether people rate themselves as happy − as you did a minute or two ago. The Office for National Statistics publishes the results. Over a third of respondents rated their happiness as 9/10 or 10/10. Isn't that surprising? But knowing it made me feel a little happier.


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Richard Walker

Epitaph for a Cardiologist

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______________________


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Richard Walker

Clerihew

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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 9 May 2016, 10:01

George Sand bought Chopin a Fitbit.

But he never go to grips with it.

Not being at all sporty,

He stuck with the pianoforte.

Here's the prelude 'Raindrop' said to have been inspired by their (unhappy?) holiday together in Mallorca. I didn't know this piece, but heard it one day, and it made me listen to Chopin much more carefully. You can hear it too in this article

Download this video clip.Video player: File:Chopin Prelude Op 28 N 15 Giorgi Latsabidze performs.ogg

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 9 May 2016, 21:39

When one vista closes, another opens. As the Philosopher says, "You lose a view, you win a view."

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Richard Walker

Doctor, Doctor Joke

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"Doctor, doctor I hate DIY!" 

"Well don't then!"

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Richard Walker

Ms Goldilocks Regrets

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 5 May 2016, 22:03

Dear Bear Family

I hope you will not mind me writing, on behalf of Ms Goldilocks, to convey her most sincere and heartfelt apologies for any misunderstanding that may have occurred.

My clent now realises that she unintentionally mis-entered a private space and unwittingly consumed breakfast food that was private property and not in the public domain as she believed.

Ms Goldilocks has instructed me to make clear that she is anxious to recompense any financial loss involved. Please send us your estimate for replacing the porridge concerned, stating your preferred temperature, and we will do our best to respond in a timely manner.

Yours faithfully,

    C Real

Senior Partner

Scoffit, Quick, and Run



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Richard Walker

Breathtaking Haiku

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Usually a poem should stand alone and require no context.

However please consider this.

"Dragonfly hunter, what place are you rambling to today?"

The writer had a young son who died.

This is her question.

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Richard Walker

Walk slow

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Walk slow. You'll see more.

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Richard Walker

The Kindest Kiss

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The wind's breath,

That's the kindest kiss of all.

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Richard Walker

"At Dawn and Dusk"

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 30 Apr 2016, 22:03

Be up at dawn and dusk

To hear the birds explain

A little of the riddle.


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Richard Walker

"The Obstacle is the Path"

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"The Obstacle is the Path"

The Observant see where the deer

Squeeze through the hedge.


You used to say

"Many would love you, given permission"

I'm still trying to

Find my way through.

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Richard Walker

Life's a Bright Stream

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 27 Apr 2016, 22:37

Life's a bright stream

Which every traveller should pause and gaze into.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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There's a resistance movement against teaching formal grammar in schools. It's called "they shall not parse.”

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