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Richard Walker

Flint Hearted

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How many humans lived in the stone age?

More specifically

At any one time

In the paleolithic, the old stone age

In the place between the fens that began at (what is now) Cambridge and the low chalk hills to the south

Near where I live

We cannot count souls. That's too hard. But every time I look across a field at sunrise or sunset I wonder

Someone gave me a flint core, a word that means heart.

From such a core someone split arrowheads and leaf blades

Killers and cutters

Cruel in truth, yet when you handle it you marvel at the skill

As though you are embracing each human heart again



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Richard Walker

New blog post

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One of my favourite nonsense verses in this, by Gelett Burgess.

I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.

This has often been parodied and I'd like to add my contribution. Here is my first attempt.

Attendant: The Queen my Lord, is purple.

Macbeth: She should have dye'd hereafter.
There would have been a time for such a colour.
Tomorrow. And tomorrow...


More to follow...



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Richard Walker

Wisdom

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday 3 November 2016 at 23:55

The Wisdom of the Crowd they said

But I, being a Slob

The Instinct of the Mob

Was what I read.

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Richard Walker

The Leaves

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The leaves always whisper

Come on come on

Let's get down and dirty

We shall be your cosy blanket

Of bright wet flame.


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Richard Walker

Warm Red

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Autumn's a warm red optimistic time
When we think we can get through to Spring
Without putting those clumsy gloves on.
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Richard Walker

Please notice me

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No want be ticed.


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Richard Walker

Crossed Lines

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She said "Are you trying to make a joke of me?"

"You know that was the laughing on my mind".


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Richard Walker

First Snow of Ever

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When i was just a kitten dears
I wentoutthatmorning
and the lawn was so bright and just bright with eyeopening stuff I could paw-fondle for ages
Like scratching it or playing but it
Tickled my paws in such a delightfully playful and rollover way that I did many times
And I jumped too and my paws
Have never forgotten
That old time
Dears
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Richard Walker

Going West

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Peaches of immortality.

Has the use by date been exceeded?

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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I've got a right to spot birds. They've spotted me often enough.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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When Dad went bird-spotting he always dressed in animal skins. It seems birds can't see you in the hide.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Apparently, the government plan to ban urinals was simply an unauthorised leak from the Cabinet Office.
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Richard Walker

This is a Ruthless Rhyme, Cat Lovers Avert Your Eyes in Time

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday 30 October 2016 at 22:19

When Father heard the kittens mew

He flung them in the boiling glue.

Explaining that, although it's icky

Without proteins, glue's not sticky.


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Richard Walker

One Liner

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I failed the interview to be a marine biologist. They asked about flatfish and I was left floundering.

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Richard Walker

Tough on Santa

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday 29 October 2016 at 22:57

Why couldn't Santa find Elves?

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Richard Walker

Nameless Haiku

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday 29 October 2016 at 20:55
Falling souls.


Each autumn leaf
Repays its debt.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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I tried this new beer. It's called Frog. Too hoppy for me.

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Richard Walker

Oneliner

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I got told off for laxity. Now I'm all on edge. I don't feel I dare relax.

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Richard Walker

Tine Travel

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Long ago
Two people set up home
Now I'm eating my supper
With the last fork in our cutlery.
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Richard Walker

The Roots of Coincidence

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Today of all days I remembered this old question.

I first came across it in the 1970s but it seems to have been first asked more than 200 years before, and perhaps humorously. This is my attempt at a reconstruction.

Gentleman doth Enquire recently: whether it is Probable that: at any time which should be nominated: In the City of London there must bee,Two Persons, who have exactly the same numerosity of Haires on their Heads (supposing the Capital had sufficient Barbers to perform this Census &&).

I answer: For Certain. Since the Roy. Soc. of London have determined by what is called field-work, that the the count of Haires on any person's never doth, even if they be be-wigged, extend beyond ca. 250 Thousand.

Thus having thought to the vast Numbers of London-dwellers (which doth over-top 1 mill.) since the latter number be greater than the first, a co-incidence cannot be avoided.

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Richard Walker

What Kind of Joke is This?

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday 22 October 2016 at 21:58

The speaker went on and on about the River Avon. Most of it washed over me.

Still it was better than the Severn bore who came later.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Last night I dreamt I was a cicada. I met a mate and we really clicked.
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Richard Walker

Autumn Haiku

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Once for surprise, twice for wonder

Fingers touching October frost.




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Richard Walker

International Sloth Day

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Listen up. Today is international sloth day.

Recent research on these amazing mammals shows they have very low metabolic rates, the slowest in the animal kingdom. The only other animals that can give them a run for their money (as you might say) are koalas and giant pandas.

Read more here

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/it-s-official-three-toed-sloths-are-the-slowest-mammals-on-earth/


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Richard Walker

Carry Me Home

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Goose mother, if I am a child of yours

Please bear me home with you, when darkness falls.


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