This world doesn't last
Youth and beauty
Fade so fast
Like fireworks
that go off in the night.
Beautiful for a moment
But soon out of sight.
Forgotten
Even our memories change
Disappear.
In the long descend.

Is it all worth it, in the end?

...

Whichever direction thoughts turn there is the poisoned arrow of aversion.

I try to feel serene, but feel overwhelmed with dull fatigue. Blocking thoughts of love, like unwelcome concrete.

Today I failed.

Got stressed. Lost my composure. Wrong thoughts and speech spewed out before I could stop them.

Said things I regret.

I should know better.

The saintly Buddha-self disappeared in a golden wisp. And in its place the arsehole.The self I'd rather not see.

'Śāsana this.' Mara chides rubbing his hands with glee. 

The worldly winds sink my little ship.

How to fail well? To fall successfully?

How do I get back to metta? 

To the noble shore.

This world so complicated.

I find it hard to understand at times.

I try to navigate the council website to pay the tax; like trying to navigate a hall of mirrors, and when I finally found the right place, the payment was rejected.

Huge energy bills leave huge holes in the bank.

Expensive food and no peanut butter on the shelves.

This human world governed by leaders who support and encourage greed. Who think that it's okay to lie. 

To cheat, to steal, to kill. 

In some countries they tell you its your duty to kill. To break the precepts.

I yearn to escape.

Long for solitude. 

Some peace.

My back hurts.

So tired.

I must abandon this unwholesome state of mind.

I meditate. 

 A feat of extraordinary endurance that pays off in the end.

The involuntary movements of the mind begin to settle. 

The body melts into the sign of air. Into the beautiful sound of coastal breezes outside.The cool light touch of it on the skin.

This stillness feels like bliss.

The joy of an unhindered mind. Where love naturally arises.

- Asoka

We etch patterns

On the island shores
Of one another’s minds.

And here, on this island far away
I see you sorrow

Hold you in my heart.

And in my mind,

With warm karuna 

I reach out across the land
Across the great sea.

To hold your hand.

Reach out 

Like a gentle breeze

To lift you up.

May you feel supported.
May you never feel alone.

May the devas, the angels protect you
And always keep you safe.

May you feel loved.

Comforted 

At ease.

May your heart be filled with a golden peace.

And may this metta wave

sweep away
all your sorrow and grief.

– Asoka

…

Light and breezy
Tranquil sound of waves
As invisible air shapes its
Sign on skin and water
Seagulls call glide
Circle high above
These worn sandy shoes
With feet bright
Like Spring.

I am happy to love you
Even if you don't love me back
Love expects nothing in return
Love is its own reward
That lush euphoric state of mind
Is the benefit I receive
When I wish you well
Makes the world glow.

Chest beat a surging flame of worry
I sit and meditate to chill me down
Breath centres open wide
Odd mix of pleasant unpleasant
I calm the energies to a hush and
Let go of the spiky aversion
Greet with love instead
Love does not ask for anything in return
It is its own reward
For it makes one's mind and home
A pleasure to be in
even when
The dark side approaches.

Cold industrial echoes of the concrete night
Wet and tarmaccy puddles reflect artificial light
Serene raindrops ripple shape the liquid surface
Like this mind full of the noble eight-fold practise.

I walk with dignity
Rapturously
With the clear knowledge
There's no going back for me.

I know that your higher mind is always with me.
Just as my higher mind is always with you.
These small monkey minds are only a tiny part of the whole.
The mind is much bigger than the one narrating the story of self.
With its limited conscious awareness and capabilities.
These physical bodies are not all there is to us. 
But our physical side can get in the way of seeing this.
We get so caught up by the things of the world.
By our past conditioning and culture.
And the erroneous thinking of our modern age.
The truth is much of the mind is unconscious to us.
And what we are conscious of,
is just the tip of the iceberg.
There's so much more to us than we realise.

Our being interacts and is connected on a much deeper, more ancient level.
Greater than our briefly existing physical parts are able to see.
And when you look into the core of your being.
And trust the purity of what you feel there.
You will see that this energy is real.
I am you and you are me.
Interdependent.
Unified.
One.

No separation.

I stare blankly at the mess in my room,
Stare empty at the sky outside,
At the failed paintings on my wall,
And at nothing in particular.
I stare forlornly at this computer screen.
Wishing I hadn't said what I said to you,
Wish I could turn back time and stop myself;
but alas I do not have that power, noone does.
So I live now with regret and an aching heart,
A sad unhappy mind,
And another lost friend.
I miss you.

Walking in the rain
heart twisting pain
No more beat within
Is that the price of sin?
Ah but there is no soul
It doesn't exist
Just a changing process
That never stays still 
From one moment to the next
Who are you?