I'm meant to be on a diet. But whenever I start eating German sausages, things just go from brat to wurst.
Personal Blogs
Einzeiler
Monday 11 July 2016 at 23:11
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Iron In The Soul
Monday 11 July 2016 at 22:58
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Did you know that cornflakes contain metallic iron, in finely
powdered form, as a dietary supplement. It's only 2.4 mg per serving
but...
So strong are neodymium magnets that if you float cornflakes on a bowl of water they can be steered about by the attraction of the magnet. It works best with the ones in the middle: those near the sides probably have some surface tension forces on them as well.
If you don't believe me try it. Steering cornflakes is the best feeling.
Duck
Monday 11 July 2016 at 21:47
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She threw a jug at me. What an absolutely beautiful parabolic trajectory!
That's what I call pottery in motion.
One Liner
Sunday 10 July 2016 at 21:12
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I loved Judo for years. But then I threw it over.
One Liner
Sunday 10 July 2016 at 21:08
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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday 10 July 2016 at 21:09
My abacus is broken again. I just can't count on it.
Truthless
Sunday 10 July 2016 at 00:57
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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday 10 July 2016 at 14:00
They swore that It was true. Surprise, surprise,
It turned out someone had been telling lies.
Tall Tale
Sunday 10 July 2016 at 00:39
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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday 10 July 2016 at 13:04
The other day I receiver a parcel marked "Feathers from the goose that laid the golden eggs."
Well I ask you!
Returned to sender and wrote upon it: "There's no way I'm going to take this lying down."
One Liner
Saturday 9 July 2016 at 23:48
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The Pound's gone down. I feel much lighter already.
Seeing Bryan Wynter
Saturday 9 July 2016 at 22:42
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The marvelous poem I mentioned led me to seek out the painter.
Here is a landscape I think is very good*. It reminds me of many others I admire.
It came from this article on Bryan Wynter
http://www.artcornwall.org/interviews/Michael_Bird_on_Bryan_Wynter_and_St_Ives.htm
* If I get a take down notice for this work, I shall of course move it to the floor.
Haiku : "Sunset Roses"
Saturday 9 July 2016 at 22:08
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I'm getting so old now
I forget to smell the roses.
What a bad mistake!
Written walking home tonight 9/7/16
Dear Bryan Wynter
Thursday 7 July 2016 at 22:37
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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday 7 July 2016 at 22:41
Just a few weeks back an old school friend died in extremely sad circumstances.
I thought briefly that I might be able to write a requiem, but I see now that I can't.
Whatever I produced would be a poor imitation of the poem in the title. It was the first thing that came in to mind when I heard the news, even while I was still listening on the phone.
Dear Bryan Wynter
This is only a note
To say how sorry I am
You died. You will realize
What a position it puts
Me in. I couldn’t really
Have died for you if so
I were inclined. The carn
Foxglove here on the wall
Outside your first house
Leans with me standing
In the Zennor wind.
I love it for the voice: matter of fact, but still wondering why a person can be gone, yet we feel them close.
Bryan Winter was a real person, and here you can hear the background to what I think is a marvelous poem. You will also be able to hear the poet's own voice.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p01f117r
The circumstantial detail: the blue hat, the long legs, the foxglove, the church: wormed their way inside my head the first time I read the poem.
The complete poem is here.
In The Steps Of A Master....
Thursday 7 July 2016 at 00:20
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Whenever I have an early start the next day, I climb the stairs to bed going backwards. That way it's a lot easier running back down in the morning.
Alphonse Allais
Wednesday 6 July 2016 at 22:04
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Speaking of Alphonse Allais (as I was a few days back, because I am planning a seafood adventure holiday in Honfleur), I was reminded of one of his most famous quips.
At that time, I had not yet invented my frosted-glass aquarium for shy fish.
Primary Lessons For The New Age
Wednesday 6 July 2016 at 00:43
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When I was very young we had to do a lot of rote learning. Here's a couple of examples, but updated for the present day of course.
Definition
Promise: Possibility. As in "A series of possibilities".
Proverb
Divorce in haste, repent at leisure.
One Liner
Tuesday 5 July 2016 at 23:11
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Necromancy. Is it the same as dead reckoning? Can anyone give me a steer on this?
Swiftlet
Tuesday 5 July 2016 at 22:54
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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday 5 July 2016 at 23:16
I have escaped the nest
To see the rose, the gold, the dusky velvet.
And fly for evermore.
Bee Haiku
Monday 4 July 2016 at 22:32
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Welcome bees to my lavender bush.
You seem to grasp life
Better than me.
Xmas Motto #3
Monday 4 July 2016 at 22:06
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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday 4 July 2016 at 22:07
Los Elvos offer this from their holiday hideout. Feedback would be welcome they say (Ed. No arguing with that).
Question: What do you call an indecisive contest between sea-bird artists, in which both competitors fail to complete a single sketch?
Answer: A no-gull draw.
One Liner
Monday 4 July 2016 at 00:43
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All these celebrity recipes. I take them with a pinch of salt.
Epitaph for a Brexiter
Monday 4 July 2016 at 00:26
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No Remains here!
Tipping Etiquette
Monday 4 July 2016 at 00:22
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I never know how much to tip. Could I get away with 50% of my waste?
Politcal Geometry
Sunday 3 July 2016 at 22:35
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Commencing with the Swiss philosopher Rousseau, we have have heard much of Political Economy, but little of Political Geometry. This need immediate remedy.
The term 'right', 'left', and 'centre', were originally the seating arrangements (members of the respective parties being grouped together on the benches) in the French Assembly established following the French Revolution.
In our complex world I don't think this simplistic plan will survive.
We need at least
'up' and 'down', and at minimum another dimension: for example 'in' and 'out'.
The meeting chamber will be hard to architect but a new challenge is always welcome, and I would be willing to put my prodigious talents at the project's disposal for a very modest fee, as usual.
One Liner
Sunday 3 July 2016 at 21:11
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All this stuff about the Far Left and the Far Right. It's time we heard for the Far Middle.
One Liner
Saturday 2 July 2016 at 22:49
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Is Aleksandr the only one saying, "Don't leave the single Meerkat?"
One Liner
Saturday 2 July 2016 at 22:19
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Apparently we've reversed our thinking on sea-birds many times. It's described in a new book, About Terns.
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