Personal Blogs
New Invention
Wednesday, 18 Dec 2019, 22:56
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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 18 Dec 2019, 22:57
The Elves have come up with new Christmas novelty biscuit.
Using nanotechnology we will implant into each biscuit a tiny sound system. When you bite the biscuit, it will play the first few notes from one of the Christmas songs below.
1. Jingle bells.
2. Dreaming of a white Christmas.
3. Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.
4. Santa Claus is comin' to town.
We're calling this prototype the "Four-Tune Cookie".
Seasonal Goodwill 🎄
Wednesday, 18 Dec 2019, 22:42
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Q. What kind of tea is the most cheerful?
A. Jollity!
Pudding Joke (Silly)
Wednesday, 18 Dec 2019, 00:00
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Q. What would you do if a pudding cheated you?
A. Suet!
Chicken Joke (sorta)
Tuesday, 17 Dec 2019, 23:57
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Q. Why did the Tofu cross the road?
A. To prove it wasn't chicken!
At The Cat Diner
Monday, 16 Dec 2019, 22:35
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Cat 1: May I order mouse?
Cat 2: Of course. Would you like the mouse list?
Cat 1: No, I’ll just have the house mouse please
Doctor Doctor
Monday, 16 Dec 2019, 21:23
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I went to the doctor, I said “I keep thinking l’m a shoelace.” She said “You’re too knotted up.”
One Liner
Monday, 16 Dec 2019, 19:35
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My computer’s very slow. I put it on the desk and I can hardly see it moving.
Cracker Joke
Thursday, 12 Dec 2019, 00:16
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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 12 Dec 2019, 00:22
Q. Why are chimney-sweeps so funny?
A. Because they tell grate jokes!
One Liner
Wednesday, 11 Dec 2019, 20:51
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I’ve started a sanctuary for crows. It’s all in a good caws.
More daftness
Wednesday, 11 Dec 2019, 08:35
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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Sore ear.
Sore ear who?
Sore ear it is, Merry Christmas.
Everybody's having fun!
Cracker Joke!
Tuesday, 10 Dec 2019, 22:28
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Q. Why did the shoes fall in love?
A. Because they were "sole" mates.
Introducing Holly and Ivy
Tuesday, 10 Dec 2019, 11:39
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One Liner
Monday, 9 Dec 2019, 19:51
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My new pacemaker came with a lifetime guarantee.
New blog post
Sunday, 8 Dec 2019, 23:47
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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 8 Dec 2019, 23:48
Knock knock?
Who’s there?
Uma Thurmam.
Uma Thurmam who?
Uma Thurmam day of Christmas my true love sent to me: Three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Tim goes up the tubes
Sunday, 8 Dec 2019, 17:59
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One Liner
Saturday, 7 Dec 2019, 21:01
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My girlfriend stood me up. That was because I’d fallen down.
Next one...
Saturday, 7 Dec 2019, 12:13
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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Inga Blink.
Inga Blink who?
Inga Blink midwinter!
Unrelenting
Saturday, 7 Dec 2019, 00:21
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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Goddess.
Goddess who?
Goddess Ye Merry Gentlemen, let nothing you dismay!
No relief in sight
Friday, 6 Dec 2019, 07:32
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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Lars.
Lars who?
Lars Christmas, I gave you my heart.
Still yet another knock knock joke
Thursday, 5 Dec 2019, 15:37
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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Harvey.
Harvey who?
Harvey yourself a merry little Christmas!
Yet another knock knock joke
Thursday, 5 Dec 2019, 08:28
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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Rude Alf.
Rude Alf who?
Rude Alf the Red-nosed Reindeer!
What do you call?
Wednesday, 4 Dec 2019, 22:44
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A last-minute joke?
Jest in time!!
Another knock knock joke
Wednesday, 4 Dec 2019, 15:48
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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Irma.
Irma who?
Irma dreaming of a White Christmas!
Knock knock joke
Wednesday, 4 Dec 2019, 06:30
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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 4 Dec 2019, 15:44
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Lennie.
Lennie who?
Lennie snow, Lennie snow, Lennie snow!
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