"Do or die!" a politcian cried
And so we did. But many died.
"Do or die!" a politcian cried
And so we did. But many died.
"What are the rules for creativity?", a pupil asked the Abbess.
The Abbess replied "There are no rules. Otherwise it would not be creativity."
Q. Dear Aunty.
I am a restaurant reviewer for a local paper but they expect me to send my reviews almost immediately. What should I do?
Perplexed of Neasden
A. Dear Perplexed.
Thank for your letter.
I would suggest you file your copy “post taste”.
I do hope this helps.
Yours Aunty
Yesterday's “This I know” feature was unusually brief and may have left some readers disappointed. However the subject of the piece, the controversial philosopher Socrates, is well respected by many thinkers, and we felt his opinion that he knows nothing deserved at least a hearing.
Who's rapping at the gate
This summer's night?
It's the wrong time of year.
Q. How did the sultana get away from the currant?
A. It went raisin off!
Tom offered a deep insight into his work as a barman in Atlantis.
I bought some discount velcro. Turned out a complete rip-off.
"You may lose a few, but don't give up", said Tom winsomely.
I had a horrible nightmare in which I was a cocktail ingredient. I woke up really shaken.
Q. What do you call a last-minute joke?
A. Jest in time!
Q. Name two kinds of windy cheese.
A. Blue and bries.
A. It didn’t notice it had.
Examples seen by observers in the south east on Monday 17/06/2019
https://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/features/48665918
See also
https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/viewpost.php?post=162944
This morning I put the washing machine on. But I decided it didn't suit me.
This handsome flower which I spotted yesterday (you see I am a flowerspotter) is meadow cranesbill, Geranium pratense. It is called cranesbill because its seed-pods look like the bill of a crane. You may be suprised that it is a geranium, because it doesn't look quite like the geraniums you see in pots, but I believe they are more properly called pelargoniums, at least by botanists.
The Latin name Geranium is from the Greek γέρανος, 'geranos', which means a crane, and this give scope for confusion, because the name pelargonium is derived from the Greek πελαργός, 'pelargos', a stork, and some pelargoniums are called storksbills.
The French for crane is grue and this opens up another interesting byway, because it is thought the word pedigree originated fron medieval French pé de grue, cranes-foot. When scribes drew up family trees they showed descent by a symbol thought to resemble a crane's foot.
If I were a bird, do you know what I’d do?
I’d sit on a branch and go whoo hoo hoo.
A. Because both are inconveniences.
I opened this email. “Can of worms” is what it said.
I always believed lemmings were yellow. So what did I know?
Is a suspended parliament the same as a hung one?
My theory
The universe was created in a bag
This became a big bag
More stuff
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