Personal Blogs

Work life seems to be getting back to normal or the 'new normal' as the press like to call it. The company I work for are trialling a hybrid way of working. I'm back in the office three days a week and working from home for two days. It's a shock to the system having to wake at 5.15am. It's still dark!! It's strange having to get dressed for work. What do you wear? Pyjamas and lounge wear just won't cut it. Work trousers and tops seem to have shrunk over the last 18 months and my shoes have half an inch of dust on them.

We have to wear a mask while 'on the move'. This means every time I go to the photocopier, kitchen or toilet I have to mask up. Which is fine until you forget and you're half way to the toilet and you see the scowls from your colleagues as you walk past them smiling and saying hello. "You're on mute"  has been replaced  with "You've forgotten your mask" although it is said with a bit more malice. So you trot back to your desk and then think 'Sod it' and wait another hour before you feel safe enough to try again. 

On the plus side seeing colleagues face to face is lovely albeit without the hugs. Just being able to sit near someone and have a coffee and chat or have lunch with is priceless. I missed that. It was lovely being able to sit at home in my pyjamas and watch Netflix while scrolling through emails but after a while you start to crave contact and face to face conversation. 

After deferring for a year due to moving and looking after my mother in law during the height of the pandemic, I am now starting A215 Creative writing module. I have received my book and I am working my way through the activities. Even though a year has passed it seems so familiar, I have no anxiety just excitement about studying again. 

Life is different, we managed to sell our house during lockdown and moved in to a rented bungalow in Hove. We have views over the South Downs which are only a five minute walk from home. All in all it's pretty perfect apart from the cost of renting. We've been searching for a bungalow to buy for the last seven months and we have seen plenty and put offers in for a few. The problem we have now  is that it is a sellers market, not enough houses and too many buyers. My husband would like to semi retire but that is not possible at the moment with the cost of renting. I wouldn't say we were desperate but we may need to think seriously about moving further afield and out of Sussex entirely.  

So my main focus for the foreseeable future is trekking round Sussex of a weekend looking at houses/bungalows and hoping we find something we can afford and, have our offer accepted, along with studying on evenings and Sundays. The good outweighs the bad.

Tomorrow is the day the module website opens. I am so excited. I received my module books a couple of weeks ago and have started reading through and completing some of the activities. It will be good to know what the first TMA is about so I can take appropriate notes and get some initial thoughts going. It feels such a long time since I finished AA100, and I'm itching to get studying again. 

I will need to be on top of my work this year, we are hoping to move just before the first TMA is due. We have sold our house and will be renting until my husband and I decide where we want to live. We have lived in our house for 30 years and now that our two boys have moved out and are dispersed at various ends of the country we can relocate anywhere. I'm torn between Littlehampton on the south coast or Westward Ho! in North Devon. The world is our oyster, and I can't wait for our next adventure to begin. 

The one thing I have really enjoyed working from home during lockdown is lunchtime. My husband has been furloughed but I am still working. Every day at 12 pm prompt, we meet in the kitchen and together we make lunch. We are fortunate to have a great butchers and deli near us. My husband rides up there on a Monday morning and comes back with ham, cheese, sausage rolls, quiches and anything else that takes his fancy and then through the week we devour it for lunch. When I worked in the office I never took a lunch break, I always ate at my desk and it is so refreshing to take time away from the screen and have a chat, a nice cup of coffee (I have a Nespresso machine) and lunch and just unwind. I will miss this time terribly once we are back at work. 

I'm adjusting to new working arrangements, I'm lucky to be able to work from home, I have a desk and chair and with all the technology around I can attend group meetings. Skype and Zoom seem to be the best that I have used so far. The only thing I don't like is the solitude. I miss having a quick coffee break with my colleagues and just having a chat without having to request a time slot!! Radio 2 in the background breaks up the silence and I have become a master at Pop Master. My desk faces the kitchen wall as that is the only place where it fits without having to rearrange the house. I do have a Funko Pop of Stephen King to keep me company, he sits by my keyboard and gives me inspiration 

I had a Sainsbury's home delivery today. I must have been one of the lucky ones to get a slot. I have to say I was very impressed, they delivered everything I had asked for with minimal substitutions, the only thing missing was light bulbs and body moisturiser. I take my hat off to all delivery drivers working round the clock. I no w have a fully stocked fridge and freezer and shouldn't need to go out for a couple of weeks. 

I do miss my family terribly, I haven't seen my sons or my grandchildren for a couple of weeks and it seems like a lifetime. We have had a couple of group callls using Zoom, my youngest grandson is only eight months old and looked very bewildered by all these faces looking at him from a computer screen. It was very amusing. I think a lot of families will be planning big get together's when all this is over. My husband is finding it hard not being busy, he is not one to sit around and do nothing. So far he has cleaned the conservatory roof, the windows and the oven ( a job I really hate), and is now cleaning out the gutters. Not sure what he will do once everything is clean and sparkly. 

Before the lockdown we had sold our house and was in the middle of buying our dream property in Littlehampton. Our buyer has now pulled out, so our house is back on the market again. Although at this moment in time we can't have any viewings. Everyone is in the same boat, all house moves have been stopped so all we can do is sit and wait. 

I am thankful though that all my family are safe and well and we can still keep in touch, so many people are going through much tougher times and I keep them all in my thoughts. 
Stay safe everyone, 

I am lucky to work in an office where dogs are allowed. I don't have a dog myself as my husband doesn't like dogs so having access to dogs at work is a real benefit. Just being able to sit down next a dog and stroking their fur and having a cuddle is heaven. All the dogs are well behaved, they are vetted before they get a pawsport to enable them to come to the office, and love all the attention they get. If I want 10 minutes away from my desk their is always a willing dog owner who will lend me their dog to take for a walk in the garden. Very therapeutic. 

Below are a couple of my favourite dogs in the office. Buddy and Lily. 

I passed my first module with the Open University. Well done me. I am so relieved to get over this first hurdle on the path to my first degree. I have so enjoyed my first year of study. Some of it was hard going and there were occasions when I cried because I could not even form the first sentence of a TMA. But somehow you get it done and submitted. 

After a lot of thought I have decided to study A105 as my second level 1 module. I was seriously thinking of studying L101 as being the easier of the two modules. But, on reflection, I believe A105 will give me a greater grounding in the Arts and Humanities. One other reason for choosing this module is that I have been tempted to maybe change my degree from English Literature and Creative Writing to the new degree of Religion, Philosophy and Ethics for which A105 is a requirement. 

I've spent the summer re-reading the module books at a more leisurely pace and making notes that I think will be helpful for the second module. The set book for A105 is Charles Dickens, Hard Times. It's not my favourite Dickens book, it's quite a slog at the beginning but does get easier. As the start date for A105 gets nearer I am getting more excited. I cannot wait until the courier delivers all the module books and get started with the next year of study. Only 19 more sleeps to go. 

I got an unexpected 82 on my latest TMA. I really struggled with this essay on the Benin Bronzes. Normally I write more than double the word count and then have to cut and reduce it down. This time I barely managed to get to the word count. I have been wracking my brains trying to work out why and have so far failed. I thought I was engaged with the subject, I even travelled to London to see the bronzes at the British Museum. I hate making excuses, but I do wonder if going the menopause is having an effect. Having a hot flush whilst trying to analyse a text is not easy!! But my score suggests that something is sinking in, so I guess I will just plod on. 

For the past few months I have been suffering from what I thought was anxiety. I would wake in the middle of the night and my chest would feel very tight and adrenaline would be coursing through the whole of my body. I would occasionally feel very hot and couldn't cool down even when I threw the covers off. I would wake up in the morning feeling like I had run a marathon. I've never really suffered from poor sleep, quite the opposite in fact. I could fall asleep even before my head hit the pillow and eight hours later I would wake up feeling refreshed. Now I wake up feeling like I have gone 10 rounds with Muhammad Ali. I've put on weight and my skin feels very dry. 

It has affected my studying to some degree. Because I work full time I can only really study in the evening and at weekends. Now when I get home from work all I want to do is get in my pyjamas and veg out. The last thing I want to do is study. I can't seem to focus for any length of time. I've made an appointment to see the doctor but I really don't want to take any tablets. I have also been searching the internet to find some natural ways to help with the symptoms. There is so much information out there it's really hard to know where to start. I will start with my diet, limit my caffeine intake and cut out other stimulants and see if that makes any difference. It will be hard to cut down on caffeine, I do love my coffee.

Hopefully the symptoms won't last forever and my body will get used to its new normal soon. in the meantime I will have to adjust how I do my studying, little bite size chunks in the evenings and more studying at the weekends. 

I seem to have hit a brick wall in my studies. Nothing seems to be sinking in. I really haven't enjoyed any of the chapters apart from, surprisingly, the chapter on Plato. I was really engaged with all of the activities and did some further reading on the subject. I feel quite despondent at the moment. Is it the time of year? It's dark early and I much prefer to study when it is light. I do hope this period of despondency passes soon as I really want to enjoy the course. 

I attended my first face to face tutorial last night. I was so nervous beforehand but really needn't have been. Six of us attended and to be honest just as nervous as I was. It was interesting to hear what everyone wants to do with their degrees once we've graduated, it was a real mix. There were a few historians, one wanted to study religion and myself who wants to do creative writing. Our tutor put us at ease and we talked through one of the chapters and had a brief discussion on essay writing and how the OU would like us to set them out, we touched on referencing, which is my biggest worry but as our tutor said essay means "to try", which is exactly what I am going to do. I left feeling happier that I have not made a big mistake and that through 'trying' I will develop and become better and, most of all, enjoy what I am doing.