Three hundred and sixty-nine million pounds! Three hundred and sixty-nine million pounds! I just can't seem to stop myself saying it, maybe it's because of how it rolls off the tongue. Three hundred and sixty-nine million pounds! What a number! And you can write it in so many ways too...you can write it in numbers like this, £369 000 000 or you can write it in letters, three hundred and sixty-nine million pounds. Or, if it is your want, you can write it using both, £369 million pounds. Take your pick, try any of them.
I prefer to write the whole thing out in letters.
THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY NINE MILLION POUNDS!!!
You really get the full impact of it like that. Of course, it's a mere pittance to a billionaire, little more than pocket change...but then do you think billionaires have pocket change?? Hmmmm, not sure about that...
But apart from that, how could you even think of objecting to it? I mean, she's an old age pensioner and she needs her plumbing and electrics fixed, poor thing! All together now...awwhhhh! And she does so much for us doesn't she? Like.. like..ok give me a minute to think of something....oh yes! Tourism, she brings in all those tourists. Just think of all the people who come to see Buckingham Palace, they might not come if she wasn't there. Just like Egypt, because no one has gone near those pyramids since the Pharoah's died off. Or France. Has anyone ever bothered to go there since they got rid of their royals???
But sure if it's upsetting you, just think about little George and Charlotte, I mean, they are just sooooo cute! What's not to love?? And I'm sure you wouldn't want them to visit a house that didn't have proper lights and plumbing. God! Do you think they still have an outside toilet??
But what do I care that the taxes I pay on my pathetic minimum/living wage is going to help do up the house of the richest woman in Britain while the NHS is being starved of funding. I mean, it was those same taxes that helped to bail out all those rich bankers when they gambled and lost and royally screwed the economy and us poor working saps! Sorry, I mean hard-working strivers! Because that's just what we're here for, to make the rich richer and allow ourselves to be shafted again, and again, and again. Royally shafted even!
Now, my nephew has a young son, and he's just as cute as George (actually he's cuter but I don't want to brag) Can his granny get some millions to do her house up? Because she could really use it, she had a bit of a flood recently and she has MS, she could really do with some help. But when I think about it, she wouldn't even need millions, a couple of thousand would suffice. Any chance the government might give her a handout, do you think? Or what about his great-granny, I'm sure she would like a few million from the hard working, tax paying, suckers... Oh! Sorry again, I don't know why that keeps happening....I mean strivers, STRIVERS!
Well, why does Mrs Elizabeth Saxe Coburg Gotha-Mountbatten, deserve to be given three hundred and sixty-nine million pounds of taxpayer's money to do her house up? (Yes, I know, Windsor IS a lot more user friendly...like when they changed the name of Windscale to Sellafield) But still, for the life of me, I can't think of one valid reason.
Ok, so she's the queen..but what does that even mean? I know that centuries ago people used to believe that royalty had blue blood and had a Divine right to rule (nothing to do with me,by the way) But then, people used to believe that the Churches were Christian and a guy called Santa lived in the North Pole. ( I even believed that one for a while,but then I grew up...)
Ok, she comes out now and again and smiles and waves to people. I could do that, and for a whole lot less, let me tell you. But I've been giving this some serious thought, just in case someone would object, like maybe OUR public representatives, and I think I have a solution. Since it's coming out of the public purse, maybe we should make it a crisis loan. You know, like when you're on the dole and you have an emergency, like your washing machine breaks down and you need to buy a new one, you can get a crisis loan. Of course, you have to pay it back. You can't expect the Government to hand out money to people and not get it back.. (Sorry, what was that...bankers??) But she has millions and millions in property, jewels, money, even race-horses! She would be able to pay it back in no time at all! And if she couldn't afford it, then she could do what all those other people who lived in London had to do when their benefits were cut and they couldn't afford the rent. She should downsize or move out of London. Well, there's always Balmoral or Sandringham and I'm sure if she was really stuck, Charles could find her something down there in the Duchy of Cornwall.
By the way, my car broke down recently, and I think it's going to be expensive to fix, probably more than the car is worth..(that's expensive for me on my wage, not expensive from a billionaire's perspective..a mere speck of dust in the corner of their wallet, if even that) Do you think the government would give me some money to fix it up?? After all, technically, it is my money, I've been working and paying tax for years. Yeah, that's what I thought too...