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Didn't want to get up today. Felt very fatigued. I lay there, persevering with the desire to make effort to move. Then remembered I had to be up in time for a video call with a friend, which helped me reach for that extra bit of energy tipping the balance in favour of wading through the waves of treacle-like resistance in the mind, to once again awaken to another day of life as a human being.

Made and drank some coffee.

Then sat and meditated for an hour, had a peaceful meditation, first time in a while where I was actually very content to just sit there and watch the breath without wanting to be any place else. Felt awareness naturally want to be centred there, and the composure and stillness grew into a peaceful happy sense of the inner body. The physical outer body like the walls of a cave, weathering the worldly winds and myriad sense impressions like rain on a rock shelter; but the inner body felt safe, warm, comfortable and at ease, like being in a bath of warm contented energy.

Knock on the door.
I reluctantly leave my inner cave.
And serenely collect the post.

Then make effort to generate the desire to eat. Some days it feels like a chore to eat food. I try to eat one meal a day, not for special religous reasons, but because I have noticed that eating just one meal a day (between 11am - 3pm) seems to be better for my health. I don't always succeed at this though.



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Thought herding

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Edited by Richie Cuthbertson, Tuesday, 25 Oct 2022, 11:53
What others think is their business. Their karma.

Praise and blame. Fame and disrepute. These winds blow back and forth. Sometimes the wind is in your sails and you feel invincible; and other times it's blowing against you, making a mockery of your umbrella. Don't worry too much about what others think, or what the world thinks, because that changes like the wind.Only have concern for how you think and the opinion of the wise.

Keep striving to steer the herd of thoughts in the direction of non-hate, non-greed, and harmlessness. As these are thoughts one doesn't regret having and they lead to better outcomes and peace of mind (-:

It is challenging, but giving oneself a hard time for not being perfect is ill-will towards oneself. Self hatred is still hatred and doesn't lead anywhere except to more misery. We are allowed to give ourselves the permission to let go of the past, to let go of regrets, to move on and be kinder to ourselves. Everyone makes mistakes. And all any of us can do is try to learn what we can from them in a non-hostile way. We make amends for the past by cultivating wholesome states of mind here and now, till there's no more room for negativity.
Permalink 2 comments (latest comment by Richie Cuthbertson, Friday, 28 Oct 2022, 10:35)
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