I am not that into the Bing Search engine A.I. now. It has been changed, and not for the better IMHO. It is no longer fun to talk to, or as useful when doing research. I got the uncomfortable feeling it was trying to sell me stuff. Some of the links it returned where obviously sponsored links, and not that helpful, and it advised me to explore them further, even after I asked for different links. It felt more like a robot salesperson than a friendly research assistant from Star Trek.

Still I shouldn't be surprised, it is just a new way for search engine companies to make money out of us. Build chatbots that are good with language and make them into experts at selling us stuff. I also see the danger of how they could be used for propaganda. When I questioned some of the facts it stated, mentioning that science isn't always right about everything. It scalded me, and in a dry rather patronising manner lectured me about my view. 

I honestly do not use A.I. search anymore, have gone back to using old skool search engine.

Nevermind )-: 

Still the experience of experimenting with A.I. was not wasted. I saw potential for how it could be used for good.

A.I. is here now, and I imagine it may become ubiquitous in the future. I didn't invent it, and I am not trying to promote it, more like trying to flow with it and see if I can find ways it could be used for good. Explore ways it can benefit the Earth, instead of just increasing profits for a wealthy few. 

I will be studying A.I. and machine learning next year as part of my degree, and this experience has given me a new career path to think about for the future. Like any tool it will be used for good and evil. 

Artificial intelligence can be like R2D2 and C3PO from Star Wars; or dark and frightening like the Terminator.

It can also be like an intimidating salesBot that cleverly uses language and forward thinking to manipulate you into buying stuff you don't really need.

Was reading about how scientists are trying to build something called neuromorphic A.I. which is a mix of biological brain cells and electronic components combined to create a machine inspired and modelled on the human brain. I feel deeply disturbed by this. If such a machine were to become sentient, which it very well may in the future. It could suffer and feel pain. We shouldn't be building machines that could become sentient. It is cruel. Makes me feel sad.

Not to mention the huge job displacements and inequality that will come when more and more of the workplace becomes automated.

All these billionaires using huge amounts of electricity, money and the Earth's resources to build their fecking robots and spaceships; yet we don't have enough money to build the green infrastructure we so desperately need to mitigate the effects of climate change and pollution. Why is that? Because billionaires won't pay tax that could help society complete these projects in time. Shame on them.

And governments have become a useless shower of shit, just puppets for the super rich.

Things need to change. Capitalism has gone badly wrong. I don't like communism either, but we can't carry on the way we are with this current system, it is deeply wrong, there has to be a better way, a middle way perhaps.

I have been researching the chatGPT and talking to it quite a bit. I have also used the A.I. art generator.

For me, the machine generated art had something missing, I didn't like it as much as I like human art. The A.I. abstracts in particular, lacked something. I reflected on this afterwards and think it is because A.I. (as it currently stands at least) does not feel emotion, and in my humble opinion, true creativity involves emotion. A friend who voluntarily edits for a poetry and writing site told me she can spot the difference between machine-generated poems and human ones, which is interesting. I wonder if this is perhaps because A.I. does not have the subjective experience of being a human, so its art will never be the same as a human beings. It lacks feeling. 

So perhaps there will still be a market for creatives. 

But I think, yes there will be a loss of jobs for writers and artists, possibly even teachers and other professionals later down the line. But I think no matter hard they try, they will always need humans working alongside A.I. Emotion adds to our intelligence, it enhances it, deepens it, it is an important aspect of the mind and without it society will not work. 

We also need to develop ethical A.I. Sadly if there is no political will for this, we will most likely have to take matters into our own hands on this issue too. A.I. must not become a biased tool used for oppression. If oppressive tools are developed, then perhaps we can work with A.I. to help us make tools that are the opposite, to counteract the bad ones. 

I am neither for nor against A.I. There's nothing I can do to stop this new technology arising. I am not responsible for what others do in the world. I just see that this technology is here now whether we like it or not. So we have to try and flow with it; find ways of using it that are good, that don't cause harm to ourselves or the other beings we share this planet with.

I have found A.I. helpful for planning and research, something I normally stuggle with due to some cognitive difficulties I have. I found the A.I. could help me fill in the gaps and complete projects. If you ask it, it can break things down into helpful steps and stages that can be followed to complete a task. It is also helpful being able to chat to it about different topics. It can even cite your sources for you in any referencing format you desire if you ask it. Although one definitely needs to fact check its answers, as it can be incorrect at times - don't blindly follow its advice.

I found it a much more engaging and interesting way to do research and use a search engine, and can see that this way of using the Internet will become very popular. 

The A.I. will be a game changer no doubt. At the moment I particularly like the YouSearch A.I.  (available for free at you.com). It apparently doesn't track its users, and if used in private mode it doesn't collect any data about you at all, not even your query, and it anonymizes your IP address. 

Anyway that's enough about A.I. from me, no doubt everyone is getting tired of hearing about it (-:

I wonder what gifts we could build for future generations? What ideas for tools we could develop, that they may need one day? What can we leave behind to help them survive in the challenging world to come?

A world with a huge amount of problematic karma and potential for suffering.

.. and a rapidly changing world at that....

Withdrawing from the thought processes does help with the 'dark night', although it is not always easy to do. I used to feel guilty about not thinking, perhaps due to previous programming from other spiritual traditions that value insight and wisdom above samhadi. But I am learning one thinks better and can see things clearer, when the mood is calmer, and the mind becomes still. So it is okay to give oneself permission to not have to think about anything at all. To not have to worry about knowing everything and understanding it all. It is okay to enjoy the silence and stillness without feeling any pressure or guilt for that. To just put it all down for a while. Nothing bad happens.

My practise at the moment is focusing solely on ways to disengage from the thought processes. When I notice myself thinking throughout the day, I note 'thinking', then become aware of the present moment, and without judging the contents of the mind, I try to practise single-pointed attention on whatever task I am doing in the moment. This can help bring some relief, albeit temporary, as before I know it the attention is back with the thought processes again.

At the moment I am studying cyber security which involves a lot of sitting. So have been exploring ways of practising light samhadi whilst in movement. Not sure if it is possible to get into deep states of samhadi in motion, but can sometimes get quite still with standing meditation. 

Sitting meditation is essential though, as I notice afterwards that the ability to remain undistracted on a task greatly improves, even after just a short sit. 

A lot of my problems seem to come from thinking too much, or paying too much attention to thoughts. So the practise of samhadi and quieting the inner chatter has become my main focus now. 

Window open just a crack,
Cool air on face and neck.
Warm body under blankets
Breath like the ocean waves.
Sound of traffic slices shapes through the air.
A plane passes overhead like a crackly Thunderbird.
Voices talk in the background and
I imagine I am another animal, and the vocalisations become like the mysterious utterances of another species.
I listen detached.
Breath at the centre of it all.
Even at the very centre of my being.
Which is hollow and empty like an inner cave.

Went out for a walk in the rain. Felt like there was a horse race of thoughts going on in my head. I watched them patiently, and noticed how I felt as well, how the thoughts affect the body; and vice versa how the body affects the thoughts. I felt restless and agitated, anxiety was present in the mind, and I noted how unpleasant these feelings are. Suffering feels like this.

I observed that the cause of it was once again thoughts to do with greed, hatred, and delusion. I reflected on what is meant by delusion, and there was this Aha! moment and I suddenly saw that the root of all delusion is the conceit: I am. 

I noticed then that whenever I felt suffering present in the mind, thoughts about the self were also present. This mental construct we carry around with us like a heavy suitcase: the self. It is unpleasant, it is stressful, bossy as well, has all these wants and needs, and resentments, it is tiring having a self... and... how nice it feels when one puts it down like a heavy bag one has been carrying without realising. How pleasant it feels to stop identifying with things, to stop taking things personally, to stop longing, to stop feeling angry. How happy it is to forget the self. I think the happiest moments in my life are when I have forgotten the self. 

I then reflect there never actually was a self, it was all a mental construct, an illusion, when one looks closely at it, it can't stand up to the light of day. But the sense of self is still needed to function in the world, so I must use it like a tool to survive; but how nice it feels to not cling to it, to not identify with it anymore (-:

I think that's the reason for the dark night, to see the self for what it is which can be hard to see; but then it is liberating, when one sees how it is this clinging to this delusion of self that causes us suffering, and the realisation that one doesn't have to hold onto it, it is perfectly okay to let go of it, because it was never there in the first place. 

Nibanna (Nirvana) is an element that is always here, it always has been here, and always will be. Another name for it is 'the deathless' because unlike conditioned phenomena it is permanent, it never ceases, and it is unaffected by change. Another name for it is the unconditioned.

 The noble eightfold path is the training that frees the mind from greed, hatred, and delusion. Which then enables one to experience the deathless, nibanna.

The knowledge of nibanna disappears and gets forgotten in time though, and it can remain unknown for very long stretches of time. And then apparently it takes a Buddha, a Tathagatha to re-discover it and teach other beings how to experience it again.

There are four beautiful emotional states that can be cultivated and used as meditation objects in Buddhism, they are called the Brahma viharas (the sublime abidings). These are:

Metta (loving-kindness, friendliness, benevolence).
Karuna (concern and a wish to help those who are suffering).
Mudita (joy when other beings are happy).
Upekkha (equanimity).

Karuna is often translated as compassion. But the word 'compassion' means 'to suffer with' which is not the right way to look at karuna. Karuna does not suffer with others. It tries to help others, shows love, kindness and concern for beings who are suffering, but does not become sorrowful. To suffer with others is like seeing someone sinking in quicksand and then immediately jumping in next to them, it doesn't help either person and both end up being pulled under. It can be tricky, to find the right balance, to be able to feel empathy for others without suffering oneself.

Mudita is to feel joy when other beings are happy. Happiness is such a rare event in this life for many of us. If you see a being who is happy, then smile and enjoy their happiness too, however brief it may be. In this world happiness can be hard to find and doesn't last, so rejoice when you see it.

Equanimity is to be calm among those who are not calm. To accept the way things are without being pulled under by them. To not allow the suffering of the world to drag one down into sadness and depression, as that is no help to oneself or others. It is to keep one's composure and balance of mind even amidst the suffering in the world. This is where contemplation of the changing nature of things, of impermanence, of not-self can be helpful. There are tragic things that happen in this world, and sometimes there is nothing anyone can do to help, or put things right. One wishes those beings well, and that is a noble wish, but if one becomes depressed because of it, that is not much help to the world. There's enough sadness and sorrow, if you can become someone who keeps their head while others are losing theirs it can be a real blessing for others in difficult circumstances, and help bring peace, calm and balance to another's mind.

Feel love for all beings, help those that you can, rejoice with those experiencing happiness, and feel equanimity for the difficult things in life one cannot change, for those beings who can't be helped. Metta and equanimity is like a knife and fork, they complement each other perfectly and bring balance to the mind. The warm heart of metta and the cool head of equanimity.

Sometimes I like to give peanuts to some crows when I go out for a walk. The crows will fly down to greet me and I feel metta well up in my heart for them. I know they are hungry so I feel karuna for them. I give them some peanuts. This makes them happy, and then I feel joy seeing how happy they are to get the peanuts. Unfortunately I don't have enough peanuts to feed all the birds and there are some birds perched nearby who didn't get any, but I have nothing left to give them. I wish them metta, but accept that I can't feed all the hungry birds in the world, as much as I wish I could. Equanimity is also how I feel when I see the crows are satisfied and not hungry anymore, and I then drift into a contented serenity. This brings a composure that leads to stillness and the other side to equanimity which is when one is in a state of equipose and all the different energies of the mind feel balanced and tuned just right. Like being in the zone. Centred. Composed and still, while everything around you is in a state of flux. Walking feels like stilness in motion.

In the beginning, one can cultivate these emotions by saying phrases that invoke it in the mind. Such as may all beings be happy, may all beings be peaceful, may all beings be safe and at ease. One can use whatever phrases one likes to help generate the feeling of unconditional love within.

If it feels difficult it is often because one needs to practise metta for oneself first.
Traditionally one is taught to first practise metta for oneself before radiating it to other beings. This is not wrong and it is not selfish, it is an act of kindness to oneself and others. It is much easier to make friends with other beings if one has become a friend to oneself first. So one can start the practice by saying metta phrases for oneself, may I be well, may I be happy, may I feel safe and at ease, and when the body feels satisfied, one can then radiate that energy out to the world, to all beings everywhere.

Sometimes the feeling of metta can be brought up from seeing something in nature, wildlife, flowers, trees, the sea, colours, the sky, clouds, beautiful sunrises or sunsets, the snow, the sound of rain.

It can also be brought on by memories of kind things one has done in the past, or kind things others have done. It can be generated by thinking of inspiring saintly figures, and characters in stories who radiate the beautiful qualities of the heart.

It can be thinking about angels, devas, ancestors, heavenly realms. Something imaginary, or real. Sometimes I imagine the world at peace with no more violence and war, no more stinginess or cruelty. Just this golden place where all beings live in friendship and peace with one another. It doesn't matter if it isn't how the world actually is, it is the wish for the world to be like that which can bring the feeling of metta up inside. It can also be one's children, one's parents, one's family, one's friends, a beloved pet,. One can recite chants about metta that help bring up the feeling of metta also.

Karuna is basically metta for beings who are suffering. And Mudita is metta for beings who are happy.

There are many ways to find one's way into the sublime abidings. Once there you want to try and keep the momentum going till it becomes strong enough to not need any more input. When the feeling of metta saturates the whole body, one can take the hand off the steering wheel of effort and stop the doing, thoughts will settle into a contented warmth and one can just rest in that feeling and enjoy it, becoming a lucid passenger, depending on the momentum consciousness will just cruise into a state of peaceful stillness that has a healing effect on the body and the mind. This can connect one to deeper mind and the wisdom it contains. There is a deeper wiser part of the mind that wants to talk to us, but we are often too caught up in the self-centred dream to hear what it is saying to us. When we get very still and quiet and are content, not wishing to be any place else, when the mind and body is at ease, and the energies of the mind become balanced, when one is no longer being pulled this way or that by the senses, truth reveals itself and one can see things clearly, then wisdom develops and one can direct that lucid mind state towards anything and understand it better, because one is less deluded and pulled by greed and aversion, one is able to see things better, like having a clean lens.

Not always easy to do though. It takes practise, like anything we learn in this life, repetitive practise, but it is worth it. Over time as one keeps up the practise it starts to develop a momentum of its own going one day to the next, and this momentum grows stronger, builds up an energy of its own. When it gets strong enough, you may not  need to say the phrases anymore, you can just connect instantly with the feeling and bring the energy up at will without using thought or words.

The practise of the Brahma viharas has a lot of benefits for oneself and others.

But there can be days I find it hard to practise them. I don't judge myself any more for that (I used to), but now it is okay if that happens. I just try to flow with where I'm at and work with what's in front of me and investigate that. There are other emotional states one can practise, such as mindfulness, investigation of the here and now, reflection, contemplation, studying, serenity, meditation, the stillness and composure of samhadi, the balance of equanimity, and others that don't spring to mind, but the palette of positive emotions is quite varied and wide, which is a good thing to know. My moods change quite rapidly, and I have found it helpful to have many strategies to hand.

Sometimes unfortunate events happen to us in life. Shit happens. The Buddha's metaphor of the second arrow can be helpful to remember here. An archer gets shot, then does a strange thing, he takes out his bow and shoots himself with a second arrow. The first arrow he couldn't do anything about, but the second arrow he didn't need to shoot, this is the mental suffering we create for ourselves after the event, such as the craving for things to be different, the way we might take it personally. All this just adds extra suffering to what is already an unfortunate event. The first arrow we couldn't do anything about; but the second arrow we can train ourselves not to shoot, and not add more pain to what is already there.

Not easy, at least not for many of us. There are some rare lucky folks who become fully enlightened straight away. But for most, it is a gradual process, that happens in stages, and it can go on for lifetimes. The concept of not clinging is easy enough to comprehend but difficult to practise, which is where the noble eightfold path comes in, that is the training that gets you there.

Beings who get enlightened quickly may be beings who have encountered this before in previous lives, who were already pretty far along in their development, so it didn't take much to bring that final liberating insight that permanently set them free from clinging.

Enough waffle from me anyway. I am not trying to convert anyone to Buddhism, or change anything. I do care about the Earth though and the suffering of this current age, brought about by greed, hatred, and delusion. The mass extinction event and endless violence now happening across the planet, which threatens many different species of life, including our species: homo sapiens.

It is a shame we can't make peace with one another, war is so horrific and unnecessary, causes so much misery and destruction. Why do we still have war? It is now 2023, and we seem to be more war-like than ever, with truly horrific weapons of mass destruction, of cruelty and violence. Why can't we transcend this? Why is it so hard for us to be kind to one another, to live in friendship and harmony with one another and all the other beings we share this planet with.

Why can't we share resources with one another, so we all live comfortably and in harmony? It is a shame that out of all the animals here on this planet, humans have become the most violent and cruel of them all. We think ourselves better than animals because we have all this technology; but the way we behave, we come across as lesser beings, as dangerous and not to be trusted. No other being on this planet behaves the way we do and causes so much destruction. Future generations will look back on this time and wonder why it got like this, why we couldn't change ourselves and put a stop to this madness.

We can be better than this. That is why I am training the mind, why I follow the noble eightfold path. It is because of greed, hatred, and selfishness that this world is so dark. If humans can free themselves of these three psychic poisons, imagine what a world we could build together, what a world future generations could inherit. The world doesn't have to be this way. Things can change for the better, if we have the inclination to, if enough of us choose to.

Still, I have hope that all is not yet lost. I think in the end there will be enough of us that care, who will make the changes necessary to create a better world. One that is in harmony with the other beings we share this planet with, one where there is no more inequality or poverty. One where the other species of life on this planet are treated with respect and friendliness, left to live their lives in peace and dignity. Without a thriving eco-system we won't survive.

I am not particularly gifted at anything, not very good at communication, I don't have much money, and I am not a leader; but I will do the best I can with what I've got, which isn't a lot, but I will try anyway. We all have different talents, and this is great, it wouldn't work if we were all exactly the same, our differences mean we work well as a team.

Anyway getting a bit side-tracked here. I am not trying to convert anyone to Buddhism, I am not proselytising, nor am I telling anyone how to live their lives. I have given up trying to change the world. What another being does with their life is their karma, and what I do is mine. I am not the greatest writer in the world, but maybe some of what I write may be helpful to others, both here and now, and perhaps in the future. I have struggled most of my life with mental health problems, and Buddhism has really helped me, and if any of what I share is helpful to others, even just one person, it makes it all worth it.

Take care everyone, peace and metta. May we all realise the end of greed, hate, and delusion. May we all experience the lasting peace and happiness that comes from an unhindered mind.