Personal Blogs

Gouache on paper 20x30cm 

It is hard changing the way I talk to myself. It does work, but it can be challenging at times.

It's helpful to find a way to pause the inner monologue, so I can step back from it, reflect on it and then practise narrating things in a different way, which can help change my perceptions of things.

Sankaras are moral choices, intentions, the tendencies of the mind, the inner volitions, that produce our karma (our speech and action). 

When intentions are driven by craving and ignorance, they produce Samsara.

As beings become less ignorant of their intentions they can learn how to change them to something more helpful, which in turn changes their karma.

It takes time, and one will fail over and over again. I certainly do, I'm no angel. But I am learning that that is part of the training too, learning how to fail well, with wisdom (-:

Trying not to be so hard on myself when I don't always get it right. To experiment and play, investigate. To become a friend to myself instead of a horrible boss. Training myself to see the mind as a team, and to be compassionate and friendly towards it instead of bossy.

Training the mind is like when one learns to paint, or to make music, or learns a sport, or learns to ride a bike. Effort is needed at first, but the effort is something we already know about, it comes naturally to us. We use it without thinking when we learn a new skill.

I am concentrating mainly on learning to calm the mind at the moment. Developing serenity practices that help quieten the thought energies and bring the mind to stillness and balance. These are also samadhi practises. I find these practises very challenging at times, but they are very helpful and worth the time spent learning them.

I give up trying to be perfect.

To be anyone actually. It's rather tiring and burdensome.

I release the mind from its self-imposed burdens.

Then joy arises like the beautiful scent of a flower.

Or like a clear fountain of water, a wellspring I forgot was there.

Could this be the way to samadhi?

A way to cross the flood without straining and without halting?

Without grasping.

My latest article on Substack:

Gouache on paper 20x30cm 

Acrylic on paper 20x30cm 

A painting I did a few years ago. Feels apropos.

Gouache on paper 20x30cm 

Gouache on paper 30x40cm 

Gouache on paper 20x30cm 

Gouache on paper 20x30cm 

Gouache on paper 30x40cm 

Gouache on paper 30x40cm 

Gouache on paper 30x40cm