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Malcolm Taylor

Just a few changes and a catch up

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So firstly out of the gate I'm not at Nottingham due to ill health which I am really not happy about but rules are there for a reason. My 'ill health' is partly to do with my autism so thats one part of my life it had ruined this weekend, usally I can just keep going but I had to take everything into account this time around.  As it is rare i have lots of sensory overloads in a row, meltdowns I can deal with; just go into basic program and use echo location. 

Anyway enouch of that this is something I have been trying I am to to try to use something called Google Blogger. Instead of this blog, although everything will be here it won't be when I finish the OU but I am unsure if it will be after my first year or my third either way to make sure everything I have said is read and people can see things I have put it will be copied over their. It will most likely be named something simliar. I will link it when I have completed the transistion. In this case I'm an Eevee turning into a Leafeon growing and hopfully spreading a more helpful basis to Autism Awareness.

So being blue, not being down like its accosiated with, that is the actual colour for autism awareness; blue... I would like to know where this came from because if it is associated with our moods then I won't be happy. You could almost say I might be blue... . I know bad pun. 

There are some reason why I am trying this new program. 

1) It's not customisable. I wouldn't mind this if had a coulorful background but for me it has this horrible grey and light blue. I don't know what it is like for anyone who reads this, but expect strong colours if they can be changed.

2) I can put pictures on here. If you aren't a OU student reading this the OU give you 500KB for a picture to be uploaded, so its either very poor quality or you can't get it on although due to copyright i doubt i will be doing many Pokemon picture because nintendo love sueing people who show pokemon without giving them credit. 

These are the main ones but I am positve this could be a step in the right way. 

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by David Tracey, Saturday, 7 Jul 2018, 01:10)
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Malcolm Taylor

Mental health Awareness day 2018

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It's the last day of mental health Awareness week and it's focusing on stress... Oh boy. I know they want more people to know more about mental health in general but stress? I know everyone 'suffers' through stress, I'll explain why it's put like that later, let's put it through the eyes of someone who autistic. 

Stress to us is well... life. I could just sum it up like that but I'm going to explain mainly because when I talk to people they don't understand how I see things, but if i do anything general I'm going to focus from a higher functioning autism (& Asperger's) point of veiw. 

Every step I take I see countless dangers, it could be anything from me tripping to a meteor falling on me, most non-autistic brains will filter this. Then add on contacting people so talking or just walking past them, as I think a meteor is going to fall on me you don't have to guess much with might happen with that, still I will say, so to me the person could be harmless to they might spontaneously combust (blow up with no help needed).  When it come to talking to people I don’t know what people could say so I prepare phases to things either to buy me time or to give answer. Also like most people with autism I’m sensitive to the world around me, in my case light and sound. So I have to process all the sounds around me to keep a step ahead of what’s in front of me. I have to adjust my vision so I take in enough light to see but that’s it any more and I feel like my eyes are going to burn and too little and I can’t see. It’s handy at night time but I’m not an owl. On top of things I physical twitches so I have to hide that because if I twitch people have been known to either not help me or treatment like I’m a toddler. Also I also have verbal twitches/outbursts, which make things interesting... I sometimes can’t control somethings I say like “peek-a-boo” or “I’m a turtle”. This doesn’t make life easy but you get use to it. To add some general things in its between 23-28% of all autistics are epileptic and a further 25-36% have epileptic like issues but it’s not epilepsy. In this area all of them combine so that is 48-64% of all autistics will have a epileptic attacks (for the 25-36% it is usually their last) usually it will happen whilst being asleep.  Also when we have meltdowns or shutdowns all what I said times it by ten because most of us won’t even talk until we can handle what is happening. So the idea of handling stress for neurotypicals (non-autistic people) is laughable because before people usually think they have a lot going on or too much happening. For a day just try being us or look at how much you actually have going on. Most of autistics have all this and most likely more. This is partly why I  (and maybe others) have special items such as bowls and forks etc. Or why I have special places I vist or have specific spot I go or sit. If it moves the slightest bit I have to recalculate everything and adapt. 

This is why I phrased stress the way I did to a neurotypical, stress can be a hard thing and I can do other things like affect eating and sleep. To people who are autistic we have the same things but it affects us physically we have so much mental capacity we can starve are brain of anything needed or we can stop any of our senses. In theory with the capacity we have over our brains we can do anything in theory. For neurotypicals there are signs and symptoms for us there’s some signs and some symptoms but no one knows what happens in our heads. Stress is the most certain uncertainty most autistics face and it leads to different forms of self harm and abuse. It also makes any condition/s we have a whole lot worse, take socialising it’s tough but it’s doable, with stress it’s like your mouth is sowed shut and your whole body is wrapped tight. 


I thought I would end of my mental health experiences. Through my autism I have anxiety disorder called selective mutism  also I have anxiety on top. I have also had breakdowns, yes breakdowns-plural, no one noticed accept me. They though I also had depression- but that turned out to be autism. I’ve also had other things happen which I won’t say on here being public. So my mental health was rough and it still is but I take a day at a time because that’s all I can do. I evolve to a different thing every time, like eevee - best excuse for use pokèmon I could find. smile 


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Malcolm Taylor

Asperger's and Life

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Edited by Malcolm Taylor, Monday, 26 Mar 2018, 19:06

Well, I had a few good days and spent time with people I trust, sorry everyone but I don't have friends, best you get though. I know that I look at life differently, I guess that's with most if not everyone who is autistic, whether that be in my head, inside a rainbow- pun intended or just blurred with music with colourful lights. Some autistics, including myself, will never really understand people and how to cross the road safety (thank you Toyota Prius driver). However, there are some things that I find that I really understand like physics, mathematics even languages ( to a point). All these have one main thing in common; all these have patterns. So I'm guessing here but other people with autism, Aspergers, ASD or whatever label you want to call it. If we find a pattern to life we can be people and have a life, I think. mixed .

These are things I have always understood in some ways but I have other issues which confuse a lot of things. So I didn't realise how much they could affect me. I don't say anything personal- sorry again. But I have had lots of issues not just with my Aspergers but with everything, mentally and physically everything is just piling on top it could be that I have never had to change my plan of the week as much as I had to last week, or I could be over thinking everything. (I bet you it is that one). Maybe in my next post, I will talk about the way I see life. Coming back to the now. 

Here is the odd photo for you all. It's Pokemon called Eevee it explains autism so well (as far as I can see)  as most Pokemon evolve and the Eevee's evolution is so unstable it can turn into any type: Grass, Water, Fire, Electric etc. Whatever it is near it will turn into this type, plus its cute and fluffy. All it needs is sensory lights and it would be completely autistic friendly. To top it off Eevee is Normal!!


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