OU blog

Personal Blogs

Wine Joke

Visible to anyone in the world

If you try to steal my wine, you’d better watch Shiraz.

Permalink Add your comment
Share post

The Metric Cistern

Visible to anyone in the world

My toilet takes 1,6 gallons to flush, that’s 7 litres in the metric cistern.

Permalink Add your comment
Share post

Grandad Joke

Visible to anyone in the world

I tried hard to shift Grandad from pounds and ounces to grams and kilograms. But I never got anywhere. He was just too set in his weights.

Permalink Add your comment
Share post

Dad joke

Visible to anyone in the world

They laughed when I checked my ruler against a head of broccoli.

But I explained; I need to calibrate, see?

Permalink
Share post

Dad joke

Visible to anyone in the world

They laughed when I checked my ruler against a head of broccoli.

But I explained; I need to calibrate, see?

Permalink
Share post

Clogs - A True Story

Visible to anyone in the world

I bought some clogs three or four years ago, but they were uncomfortable on me. So I gave them away, wouldn’t you?

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Joseph McDonnell, Sunday, 23 Oct 2022, 07:57)
Share post

4 Ps

Visible to anyone in the world
Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 20 Oct 2022, 20:45

‘Hippopotamus’ has three Ps in it. Can you think of a word with 4?

Permalink 2 comments (latest comment by Richard Walker, Thursday, 27 Oct 2022, 21:27)
Share post

ma Belle Joséphine

Visible to anyone in the world


Permalink Add your comment
Share post

Another Emotive Conjugation

Visible to anyone in the world

I am a skilled negotiator.

You know how to strike a deal.

They are corrupt.

Permalink Add your comment
Share post

Emotive Conjugation

Visible to anyone in the world

See

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotive_conjugation

Here’s an example that occurred to me.

  • I will avoid waste.
  • You will seek efficiency savings.
  • They will make cuts.
Permalink Add your comment
Share post

A Brendan Behan One Liner

Visible to anyone in the world

I saw a sign that said, “Drink Canada Dry”. So I did.

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Gill Burrell, Sunday, 16 Oct 2022, 02:02)
Share post

One Liner

Visible to anyone in the world

I bought some fossil wood 100 million years old. It was Jurassic bark.

Permalink Add your comment
Share post

Pansies

Visible to anyone in the world

I wanted to brighten things up for the winter so I bought some pansies online. 20 plants ready to flower came beautifully packaged and with proper care they will be in bloom right through to April 2023. Here are some of them. Things need tidying a bit, so it's not a terrific photo, but you can see they are flourishing quite nicely.


I wondered where "pansy" came from so I did a bit of looking up and found it's from French pensée = thought, according to Wikipedia because it symbolised remembrance.

In the OED I found a nice quote from 1771

"On that fair bank a Pansy grew, That borrowed from indulgent skies A velvet shade and purple hue."

J. Langhorne Violet & Pansy in Fables of Flora 32   

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Jess Shier, Thursday, 13 Oct 2022, 13:26)
Share post

New blog post

Visible to anyone in the world

When I say

I’d go to the ends of the earth for you

I really mean with you


Permalink
Share post

The dance of democracy

Visible to anyone in the world
Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 12 Oct 2022, 00:21

Nobody knew of

Our dance in the polling station

where they held the secret ballet

Permalink Add your comment
Share post

boastcards.com

Visible to anyone in the world

A website for people who want to brag about their holiday.

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Jess Shier, Monday, 10 Oct 2022, 21:44)
Share post

Pronunciation

Visible to anyone in the world

How many glottal stops are there in “bottle tops”?

Permalink Add your comment
Share post

One liner

Visible to anyone in the world

Narwhal dentist. That’s an easy job.


Permalink Add your comment
Share post

What’s the score?

Visible to anyone in the world
Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 4 Oct 2022, 22:01

Narwhals 1 - Humans ?

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Richard Walker, Friday, 7 Oct 2022, 23:09)
Share post

Suppertime and the liver is queasy

Visible to anyone in the world

Had a Beef Wellington the other night. Bitterly disappointed. It was as tough as old boots.

Permalink Add your comment
Share post

New blog post

Visible to anyone in the world

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, by Solzhenitsyn, based on his experiences in a Soviet forced labour camp in the 1950s. 

The most chilling quote so far

“Prisoners are not allowed clocks”.

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 1 Nov 2022, 00:24)
Share post

The Wanderer

Visible to anyone in the world


Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Jess Shier, Monday, 3 Oct 2022, 15:13)
Share post

My heart leaps up...

Visible to anyone in the world
My heart leaps up when I behold 
   A rainbow in the sky.



A friend captured this view from the top of Cat Bells at 09:27 this morning.
Permalink Add your comment
Share post

Disaster

Visible to anyone in the world
Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 1 Oct 2022, 22:41

Disaster’s bound to strike

Sooner or

Permalink Add your comment
Share post

An X goes into a bar joke

Visible to anyone in the world

A pelican goes into a bar and says, Can I pay for last night? The barman looks at him and says, You’ve got a massive bill.

Permalink Add your comment
Share post

This blog might contain posts that are only visible to logged-in users, or where only logged-in users can comment. If you have an account on the system, please log in for full access.

Total visits to this blog: 1599793