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Fame at Last

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https://www.newscientist.com/lastword/mg25333791-400-this-weeks-new-questions/

Permalink 2 comments (latest comment by Richard Walker, Friday, 1 Apr 2022, 01:12)
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Dad Joke

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What colour lets you into the car? Khaki.

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News From The Garden

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Our garden has a brick planeter, a bit like a wishing well with no well. It was overgrown when we moved here and we never did anything with it until about four years back, when we planted some lavender and a tine holly tree.

Neither exactly thrived, so we decided to redevelop the site. Lavender and holly have been replanted, we hope in a better spot, and we've put in new plants, fewer, but with a more consious design.

The central plant is a quince.This one is ornamental (I think people call these Japonica) but edible quices are a fruit related to apple and pears, and once eaten widely in this country; now unusual and hard to obtain here, although still common in some othe European countries. If you'd like a recipe for baked quince, just ask in the comments.



Permalink 2 comments (latest comment by Gill Burrell, Sunday, 27 Mar 2022, 17:20)
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Amphibian Introductions

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Let me introduce you. Sal, Amanda.

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The Magnolia Tree

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Art Trouvé - Standing Figure

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Playground Joke

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Why can Dalmatian dogs never hide? Because they’re always spotted!

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Donkey Joke (awful)

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My donkey ran away on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I thought, that’s three days on the trot.

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Apples and Pears Puzzle Again

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See https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/viewpost.php?post=244360

Given all three labels are wrong, there are only two possible combinations.

1) Label A & P - contents A    Label A - contents P   Label P - contents A & P  

2) Label A & P - contents P    Label A - contents A & P   Label P - contents A  

If we take a fruit from A & P as we are permitted inspecting it will tell which of 1) and 2)  is correct.

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Joseph McDonnell, Thursday, 17 Mar 2022, 13:43)
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Dad Joke

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I wanted to join the snooker club. But there was a queue,

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Grabled Wrods

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This wrod has been grabled.

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One Liner

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If I add up a column of figures I always remember the answer. I’ve got total recall.



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Haircut Woes

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My friend has a thing about barbershops. As soon as he gets in one he's really rude and quickly becomes downright abusive. As a consequence he's gradually been barred from one barber's after another, leaving fewer and fewer for him within reasonable travelling distance.

Eventually it came down to just one. When he went there and asked if they would cut his hair, his reputation must have preceded him. The manager came out and said "We can cut your, but only on condition you treat all our staff with courtesy. Any impolite remark and you're out, and no barber within a fifty mile radius will ever trim your hair again. This is the last chance salon."

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Save Money

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One Liner

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Shakespeare used to come to my local. But he was barred.

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Old Saying

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As Mother always used to say, don’t eat with your mouthful.


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Night Haiku

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Floating in the pond

Fallen plum blossoms

And the moon

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Masami Watanabe, Tuesday, 8 Mar 2022, 01:13)
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Haiku

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Have I told you this before?

It was a joke about time travel.

But you didn't laugh.

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One Liner

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I went to the Doctor, I said, I keep imagining I’m biscuits people have with cheese. He said, you’re crackers.

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Apples and Pears

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Here is a classic puzzle. I don't know its origin for sure, but I think Martin Gardiner might have published it in his long-standing Scientific American column.

I have three bags and I know one contains apples, one contains pears, and the third both apples and pears.

Each bag is labelled to say what its contents are but unfortunately the labels have got swapped round so all three are wrong.

I am allowed to choose one bag and take out a single fruit. I want to work out what the correct labelling of all the bags should be. How can I do it?




Permalink 3 comments (latest comment by Joseph McDonnell, Monday, 7 Mar 2022, 08:33)
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Tom Swifty

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“As Presiding Justice, I have counted the number of male persons on the jury, and it seems disproportionally high”, said Tom judgementally. 
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For Junk

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I can’t get rid of

Junk that whispers “One day”

You’ll need me again”


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And So It Goes

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After my success as a refrigerator rater I was appointed to evaluate the performance of more junior refrigerator raters, and thus became a refrigerator rater rater.

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New Job

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I’ve recently got a job rating refrigerators. That makes me a refrigerator rater.

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Some Silly Languages

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Clockwise from left: Rubbish, Slapstic, Banshi, Ruffian, Zombese.
































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