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Richard Walker

The Magnolia Tree

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Richard Walker

Art Trouvé - Standing Figure

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Richard Walker

Playground Joke

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Why can Dalmatian dogs never hide? Because they’re always spotted!

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Richard Walker

Donkey Joke (awful)

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My donkey ran away on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I thought, that’s three days on the trot.

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Richard Walker

Apples and Pears Puzzle Again

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See https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/viewpost.php?post=244360

Given all three labels are wrong, there are only two possible combinations.

1) Label A & P - contents A    Label A - contents P   Label P - contents A & P  

2) Label A & P - contents P    Label A - contents A & P   Label P - contents A  

If we take a fruit from A & P as we are permitted inspecting it will tell which of 1) and 2)  is correct.

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Joseph McDonnell, Thursday, 17 Mar 2022, 13:43)
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Richard Walker

Dad Joke

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I wanted to join the snooker club. But there was a queue,

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Richard Walker

Grabled Wrods

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This wrod has been grabled.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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If I add up a column of figures I always remember the answer. I’ve got total recall.



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Richard Walker

Haircut Woes

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My friend has a thing about barbershops. As soon as he gets in one he's really rude and quickly becomes downright abusive. As a consequence he's gradually been barred from one barber's after another, leaving fewer and fewer for him within reasonable travelling distance.

Eventually it came down to just one. When he went there and asked if they would cut his hair, his reputation must have preceded him. The manager came out and said "We can cut your, but only on condition you treat all our staff with courtesy. Any impolite remark and you're out, and no barber within a fifty mile radius will ever trim your hair again. This is the last chance salon."

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Richard Walker

Save Money

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Shakespeare used to come to my local. But he was barred.

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Richard Walker

Old Saying

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As Mother always used to say, don’t eat with your mouthful.


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Richard Walker

Night Haiku

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Floating in the pond

Fallen plum blossoms

And the moon

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Masami Watanabe, Tuesday, 8 Mar 2022, 01:13)
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Richard Walker

Haiku

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Have I told you this before?

It was a joke about time travel.

But you didn't laugh.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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I went to the Doctor, I said, I keep imagining I’m biscuits people have with cheese. He said, you’re crackers.

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Richard Walker

Apples and Pears

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Here is a classic puzzle. I don't know its origin for sure, but I think Martin Gardiner might have published it in his long-standing Scientific American column.

I have three bags and I know one contains apples, one contains pears, and the third both apples and pears.

Each bag is labelled to say what its contents are but unfortunately the labels have got swapped round so all three are wrong.

I am allowed to choose one bag and take out a single fruit. I want to work out what the correct labelling of all the bags should be. How can I do it?




Permalink 3 comments (latest comment by Joseph McDonnell, Monday, 7 Mar 2022, 08:33)
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Richard Walker

Tom Swifty

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“As Presiding Justice, I have counted the number of male persons on the jury, and it seems disproportionally high”, said Tom judgementally. 
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Richard Walker

For Junk

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I can’t get rid of

Junk that whispers “One day”

You’ll need me again”


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Richard Walker

And So It Goes

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After my success as a refrigerator rater I was appointed to evaluate the performance of more junior refrigerator raters, and thus became a refrigerator rater rater.

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Richard Walker

New Job

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I’ve recently got a job rating refrigerators. That makes me a refrigerator rater.

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Richard Walker

Some Silly Languages

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Clockwise from left: Rubbish, Slapstic, Banshi, Ruffian, Zombese.
































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Richard Walker

Lungwort

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I was pleased to see this morning that my lungwort is blooming. I only acquired it last summer and didn't know that it is an early flowering plant.


Lunwort, of which many species exist, has the Latin name pulmonaria and gets both names from the fact that it was traditionally supposed to be good for lung complaints.

The basis of this idea was the doctrine of signatures (see https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/viewpost.php?post=161437 for more on this), which held that for any given disease providence has supplied a natural remedy which can be recognised by its resemblance to an organ affected by the disease. The spotted leaves of lungwort look like a diseased lung, hence the belief that it is good for lung complaints.

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Richard Walker

Knowledge and Doubt

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Everyone thinks they know about stuff

But I don’t think they know enough

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Richard Walker

A Sign Of Spring

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 22 Feb 2022, 15:54

These jonquils are out early!


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Richard Walker

Dad Joke

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What do runners have for breakfast? Joghurt!

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