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Howler

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Famous Prize

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It seems the underworld have an award for the most successful attempt to influence a jury. It’s known as the nobble prize.

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Reader Request

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I’ve been asked for a joke about German cheese. I’m on the Käse.

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Epitaph for E

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E was just an ordinary vowel really. Much like U and I.

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Playground joke

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What do you call it when a sheep is stopped for speeding?

A woolly pullover.

Permalink 2 comments (latest comment by Richard Walker, Friday, 29 Jan 2021, 23:02)
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Sillygism

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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 29 Jan 2021, 01:47

My vacuum cleaner should suck.

It doesn’t suck.

Therefore, it sucks.

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One Liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 28 Jan 2021, 00:19

Not many people know this but the US has a heavily-guarded facility where enormous quantities of string are stored. It’s called Fort Knots.

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Haiku For My Robin

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I let my wild thoughts

Carry me off through time and space

And a robin's sweet song fetch me back.





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Tom's short-term memory

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Musical Words

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I wrote a program to search for words that contain only the letters abcdefg used as musical notes. I found 124 in the wordlist CROSSWD.TXT (courtesy of Moby Words II by Grady Ward).  A bigger wordlist might find more. The 124 words appear below. What's the longest meaningful sentence you can find using only these words? If we can use proper names like 'Abe' we could have

Aged Abe deeded a faded cabbage bed.

aa
aba
abaca
abbe
abed
accede
acceded
ace
aced
ad
adage
add
added
ae
aff
aga
age
aged
agee
ba
baa
baaed
baba
babe
bacca
baccae
bad
bade
badge
badged
baff
baffed
bag
baggage
bagged
be
bead
beaded
bed
bedded
bee
beebee
beef
beefed
beg
begged
cab
cabbage
cabbaged
cad
cade
cadge
cadged
caeca
cafe
cage
caged
ceca
cede
ceded
cee
da
dab
dabbed
dace
dad
dada
daff
daffed
dag
de
dead
deaf
deb
decade
dee
deed
deeded
deface
defaced
degage
ebb
ebbed
edge
edged
ef
eff
efface
effaced
egad
egg
egged
fa
facade
face
faced
fad
fade
faded
fadge
fadged
fag
fagged
fed
fee
feed
feedbag
gab
gabbed
gad
gadded
gae
gaed
gaff
gaffe
gaffed
gag
gaga
gage
gaged
gagged
ged
gee
geed



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Dad Joke

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Q. What do call a race between sea snails? A. The limpet games.

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Frozen Bubbles

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Until yesterday I had no idea that you can freeze soap bubbles. But you can.


Credit: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Frostedbubble2.jpg

Also check out https://www.ignant.com/2015/01/26/frozen-in-a-bubble-by-angela-kelly/



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every morning is new

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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 22 Jan 2021, 03:09

 

Permalink 2 comments (latest comment by Richard Walker, Friday, 22 Jan 2021, 12:29)
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Just a Thought

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There's a place in Co. Roscommon, Eire, called Scregg.

So I guess if a bunch of people from that town wandered about a bit, they'd be ambling screggs.



Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Shaimaa Zakaria, Friday, 22 Jan 2021, 06:43)
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Philosophy In Daily Life

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 21 Jan 2021, 01:53

Dear Laundry

Please submit your bill as soon as convenient.

Nietzsche

P.S. Have you read my latest article, There are no facts, only interpretations?


Dear Nietzsce

Your bill is as follows

Shirts 3 marks

Other items 2 marks

Total 5 marks

The Laundry

P.S. Very impressed by your article. We have reinterpreted your bill, which now stands at 500 marks.



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Haiku

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 Birds may seem free

For people it’s a delicate

 Balancing act.


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🥨🥨🥨

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Pretzels.

Are they a kind of doughknot?

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Haiku

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 Birds don’t worry

I’ve bought you a new   

 Table

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One Liner

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I'm definitely against torture. Especially of me.

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Six Daffynitions

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Bagel: Small breed of dog

Ciabatta: Did you negotiate a price?

Chapati: Did you celebrate?

Farmhouse: A celeb

Sourdough: This money belongs to us

Tin: Comes after naan


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Tensegrity

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I watched a YouTube video by Steve Mould, in which he explained and demonstrated a type of structure called tensegrity. This was completely new to me and I found it fascinating. For example, here is a plant stand you can buy on Amazon


At first sight this seems impossible; how can the top magically levitate? Steve Mould explained it by starting with a 2-D version, something like this.

The black bars are rods and the red lines are wires. If you try to push the top down, the wire EF will be stretched and will pull the top part back up. If you try to push the top to the right, the wire AC will be stretched and will pull the top back into position. Similarly, if you try to push the top to the left, the wire BD will be stretched and will pull the top back into position.

The 3-D version in the plant stand follows the same principles. Although it has four radial wires it's still possible to build such structure with only three wires altogether and you can even buy a Lego-compatible version of this design.



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My Introduction to Orzo

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I’ve just had some orzo, which for those who don’t know (I didn’t until this week) is a kind of tiny pasta shaped like grains of barley, which is what the word means in Italian.

I was curious about the origins of the word. It turns out it is from Latin hordeum and this from a root that means “bristly”, which an ear of barley famously is. The same root gives horrible, which originally meant “bristling”, urchin, and gorse.

Back to barley. This is from the same root as Latin farina “flour”, which is also the origin of farrago, a jumble of different grains all mixed together for animal feed. Also from barley we get “barn”, a grain store. It’s also found in place names such as Barton and Barley.

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Heckler Joke

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 16 Jan 2021, 02:01

It is said a lecturer once told an audience “A double negative makes a positive. ‘I ain’t got nothing’ would mean the speaker has got something. But a double positive can never make a negative.”

From the rear of the room someone called out, “Yeh yeh”.

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On meeting a stranger

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The stranger said “I am

From the same planet as you, and yet not the same planet.”

I found her words oddly comforting.

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Heckler joke

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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 15 Jan 2021, 02:12

The speaker said, “Making an audience laugh is a cheap trick. Anyone can do it.”

From the floor a heckler cried, “Go orn. Do it then!” 

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