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Richard Walker

The Metric Cistern

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My toilet takes 1,6 gallons to flush, that’s 7 litres in the metric cistern.

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Richard Walker

Grandad Joke

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I tried hard to shift Grandad from pounds and ounces to grams and kilograms. But I never got anywhere. He was just too set in his weights.

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Richard Walker

Dad joke

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They laughed when I checked my ruler against a head of broccoli.

But I explained; I need to calibrate, see?

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Richard Walker

Dad joke

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They laughed when I checked my ruler against a head of broccoli.

But I explained; I need to calibrate, see?

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Richard Walker

Clogs - A True Story

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I bought some clogs three or four years ago, but they were uncomfortable on me. So I gave them away, wouldn’t you?

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Richard Walker

4 Ps

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 20 Oct 2022, 20:45

‘Hippopotamus’ has three Ps in it. Can you think of a word with 4?

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Richard Walker

ma Belle Joséphine

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Richard Walker

Another Emotive Conjugation

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I am a skilled negotiator.

You know how to strike a deal.

They are corrupt.

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Richard Walker

Emotive Conjugation

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See

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotive_conjugation

Here’s an example that occurred to me.

  • I will avoid waste.
  • You will seek efficiency savings.
  • They will make cuts.
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Richard Walker

A Brendan Behan One Liner

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I saw a sign that said, “Drink Canada Dry”. So I did.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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I bought some fossil wood 100 million years old. It was Jurassic bark.

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Richard Walker

Pansies

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I wanted to brighten things up for the winter so I bought some pansies online. 20 plants ready to flower came beautifully packaged and with proper care they will be in bloom right through to April 2023. Here are some of them. Things need tidying a bit, so it's not a terrific photo, but you can see they are flourishing quite nicely.


I wondered where "pansy" came from so I did a bit of looking up and found it's from French pensée = thought, according to Wikipedia because it symbolised remembrance.

In the OED I found a nice quote from 1771

"On that fair bank a Pansy grew, That borrowed from indulgent skies A velvet shade and purple hue."

J. Langhorne Violet & Pansy in Fables of Flora 32   

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Jessica Shier, Thursday, 13 Oct 2022, 13:26)
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Richard Walker

New blog post

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When I say

I’d go to the ends of the earth for you

I really mean with you


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Richard Walker

The dance of democracy

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 12 Oct 2022, 00:21

Nobody knew of

Our dance in the polling station

where they held the secret ballet

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Richard Walker

boastcards.com

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A website for people who want to brag about their holiday.

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Jessica Shier, Monday, 10 Oct 2022, 21:44)
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Richard Walker

Pronunciation

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How many glottal stops are there in “bottle tops”?

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Richard Walker

One liner

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Narwhal dentist. That’s an easy job.


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Richard Walker

What’s the score?

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 4 Oct 2022, 22:01

Narwhals 1 - Humans ?

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Richard Walker

Suppertime and the liver is queasy

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Had a Beef Wellington the other night. Bitterly disappointed. It was as tough as old boots.

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Richard Walker

New blog post

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One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, by Solzhenitsyn, based on his experiences in a Soviet forced labour camp in the 1950s. 

The most chilling quote so far

“Prisoners are not allowed clocks”.

Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 1 Nov 2022, 00:24)
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Richard Walker

The Wanderer

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Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Jessica Shier, Monday, 3 Oct 2022, 15:13)
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Richard Walker

My heart leaps up...

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My heart leaps up when I behold 
   A rainbow in the sky.



A friend captured this view from the top of Cat Bells at 09:27 this morning.
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Richard Walker

Disaster

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 1 Oct 2022, 22:41

Disaster’s bound to strike

Sooner or

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Richard Walker

An X goes into a bar joke

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A pelican goes into a bar and says, Can I pay for last night? The barman looks at him and says, You’ve got a massive bill.

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Richard Walker

Hangover wisdom

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A bad hangover leaves you confused the next day but a worse one lasts until the daze after tomorrow.

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