Personal Blogs

Brrr...cold days and nights have arrived at last. I love cold, crisp, sunny autumn days. I love to sit by the window with the sun warming my face, drinking coffee and reading a book or a magazine. It is a delicious feeling knowing it is cold outside but feeling warm and cosy. I can while away many hours sitting, contemplating. It is my therapy. Autumn is my time to rejuvenate. As I watch the squirrels collecting nuts from the table to store away for colder winter days, I collect my thoughts and store them in boxes inside my mind. I have a 'reflection box' where I ponder conversations I have had that day, people I have seen, friends, family or just random people I have seen walking down the road. My 'feelings box' is where I store my moods, sensations, my impressions of people, sights and sounds. I also have boxes for regrets, aspirations and a final one, which I keep locked, is for all those thoughts that can darken my soul. Compartmentalising my thoughts in this way helps to keep them in some sort of order and not muddled up. It's a bit like keeping your socks and underwear in different drawers, it makes them easier to find and sort out.

This is a poem I wrote incorporating characters from my favourite authors stories. 

Dear Stephen

Hope this letter finds you well

It’s been so long, I have lots to tell

This morning Georgie passed by the house in his yellow coat

He was playing in the rain with his paper boat

Am I right in thinking you made it for him?

Seems he has gone missing, the searchers found a limb

Yesterday, Carrie White caused mayhem at the school prom

A fire raged and the school went up like a bomb

Arnie Cunningham has a new car. A Plymouth Fury

I heard it took itself for a drive and drove over a bully

Oh, By the way Annie Wilkes has a new fella

She keeps him hidden away down in her cellar

Anway Stephen, give my love to your mommy

I’ve got to go as Here comes Johnny!

Yesterday I  sat in the garden with the sun on my face catching the last of the summer sunshine. I shared  a Mediterranean lunch with my husband, drank wine and read the newspaper. Today, by contrast is grey and wet. It's still quite warm so I have the French doors open onto the garden where I can listen to the rain and watch the birds on the feeder. Scrub that, I meant watch the squirrel on the feeder. It's entertaining watching him bound across the grass, climb the fence and then hang upside down on the feeder, it's like watching the rodent version of Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible. 

Tomorrow is the day the module website opens. I am so excited. I received my module books a couple of weeks ago and have started reading through and completing some of the activities. It will be good to know what the first TMA is about so I can take appropriate notes and get some initial thoughts going. It feels such a long time since I finished AA100, and I'm itching to get studying again. 

I will need to be on top of my work this year, we are hoping to move just before the first TMA is due. We have sold our house and will be renting until my husband and I decide where we want to live. We have lived in our house for 30 years and now that our two boys have moved out and are dispersed at various ends of the country we can relocate anywhere. I'm torn between Littlehampton on the south coast or Westward Ho! in North Devon. The world is our oyster, and I can't wait for our next adventure to begin. 

The novelty of working from home has well and truly worn off. My concentration levels have gone way down. I'll start something then my mind wanders off and I forget what I was doing and start something else. We have a morning team call on Zoom which initially was fun, seeing everyone in their various homes, some would be in the garden, kitchen or at one point  one of them was still in bed with her partner!! But, personally I have found it difficult. Being an introvert it's hard to join in a conversation, especially when there are a few, how shall I say, more forceful characters on the call. One of them is always eating breakfast on the call, I'm sure she takes great delight in doing so, all eyes are fixed on her as she piles porridge into her mouth, licks the spoon and then flicks her hair. God, give me strength, I just want to reach right into the screen and tip her breakfast all over her head. 

I have one more TMA to submit but can't get the motivation up to start it. I know once I have started it I will be able to finish it in a couple of days, I just need a kick up the bum to get going. 

I am lucky to work in an office where dogs are allowed. I don't have a dog myself as my husband doesn't like dogs so having access to dogs at work is a real benefit. Just being able to sit down next a dog and stroking their fur and having a cuddle is heaven. All the dogs are well behaved, they are vetted before they get a pawsport to enable them to come to the office, and love all the attention they get. If I want 10 minutes away from my desk their is always a willing dog owner who will lend me their dog to take for a walk in the garden. Very therapeutic. 

Below are a couple of my favourite dogs in the office. Buddy and Lily. 

I passed my first module with the Open University. Well done me. I am so relieved to get over this first hurdle on the path to my first degree. I have so enjoyed my first year of study. Some of it was hard going and there were occasions when I cried because I could not even form the first sentence of a TMA. But somehow you get it done and submitted. 

After a lot of thought I have decided to study A105 as my second level 1 module. I was seriously thinking of studying L101 as being the easier of the two modules. But, on reflection, I believe A105 will give me a greater grounding in the Arts and Humanities. One other reason for choosing this module is that I have been tempted to maybe change my degree from English Literature and Creative Writing to the new degree of Religion, Philosophy and Ethics for which A105 is a requirement. 

I've spent the summer re-reading the module books at a more leisurely pace and making notes that I think will be helpful for the second module. The set book for A105 is Charles Dickens, Hard Times. It's not my favourite Dickens book, it's quite a slog at the beginning but does get easier. As the start date for A105 gets nearer I am getting more excited. I cannot wait until the courier delivers all the module books and get started with the next year of study. Only 19 more sleeps to go. 

This weekend I finally reached the grand old age of 50!!!  I am now a quinquagenarian. It was an age I was dreading getting to although I don't know why, I didn't have any qualms about reaching 40. Half a century seems like a long time to be alive.

I was born in the year man landed on the moon and I am the same age as Sesame Street. Woodstock festival also happened in 1969. Gap opened it's first shop, Concorde made its maiden voyage. I am in great company, celebrities who are also 50 this year include, Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Lopez, Cate Blanchett, Christian Slater, Jack Black, Catherine Zeta-Jones and the great Dave Grohl. Most importantly I celebrate my 50th along with the Open University which is also 50 this year. 1969 was a great year. 

There are lots of things to do on my bucket list. Number one is to complete my degree with the OU, but others are a bit more random. I would like to learn to tap dance, I want to go paddle boarding, climb the three peaks and get a short story or poem published. I have many other dreams and I am sure over the next 50 years some of them will come true and I will have other dreams to add to my list. 

Roll on the next 50.....

I seem to have hit a brick wall in my studies. Nothing seems to be sinking in. I really haven't enjoyed any of the chapters apart from, surprisingly, the chapter on Plato. I was really engaged with all of the activities and did some further reading on the subject. I feel quite despondent at the moment. Is it the time of year? It's dark early and I much prefer to study when it is light. I do hope this period of despondency passes soon as I really want to enjoy the course. 

This Sunday is Remembrance Sunday and the centenary of Armistice Day. I have always worn a red poppy as I believe it is our duty to remember the men and women from all countries who gave their lives for the sake of peace. 

I will wear it with extra pride this year as my youngest son, who is in the RAF, will be in a Remembrance service. He has been chosen to be part of the drumhead of the parade, standing guard by the Cenotaph near to where he is based.  He is very proud to have been chosen and takes his duty very seriously. He has been in the RAF for two years and is so proud to wear his uniform and be part of the armed services. Unfortunately I cannot be there to see him but hopefully it will be televised and I can get to see him. 

Last year as part of the Open University Access course we had to anaylse Wilfred Owen's poem Dulce et Decorum est . and remember vividly the horrific imagery he used to describe a gas attack. We should never forget. 

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: 

I attended my first face to face tutorial last night. I was so nervous beforehand but really needn't have been. Six of us attended and to be honest just as nervous as I was. It was interesting to hear what everyone wants to do with their degrees once we've graduated, it was a real mix. There were a few historians, one wanted to study religion and myself who wants to do creative writing. Our tutor put us at ease and we talked through one of the chapters and had a brief discussion on essay writing and how the OU would like us to set them out, we touched on referencing, which is my biggest worry but as our tutor said essay means "to try", which is exactly what I am going to do. I left feeling happier that I have not made a big mistake and that through 'trying' I will develop and become better and, most of all, enjoy what I am doing.