This world is not easy. Poverty is hard. It is so challenging to make ends meet these days. The cost of living is high, and finding a way to generate an income feels impossible. Every door I open seems to get slammed in my face. Especially when suffering with health problems, it is hard to put in the hours needed to survive. The gig economy is a joke, working for peanuts, and the competition is fierce.

**Reader beware of potential trigger warning.**

I have in the past expressed suicidal feelings on my blog, which I regret now, I have removed those posts from my blog out of fear they may encourage someone else who is feeling suicidal to do something they would regret, which was never my intention. I would feel absolutely horrified and deeply saddened to think that something I wrote would ever encourage anyone to do that.

I am often misunderstood, and I can be a bit impulsive sometimes, and behave recklessly without thinking things out properly. Especially it seems with written communication, but also verbally, as many who have got to know me can attest to. 

My social skills are not that great, which I think is part of the pain I feel at times.

I want to state publicly for the record that I have resolved never to act on any suicidal feelings, ever. No matter what I am feeling, however painful it is. I realise suicide is wrong, and however clever my mind can be at justifying it with its delusions, its tricks and erroneous thinking. It is always wrong view.

I have resolved to live and to not give up - and I am determined to get through this.

Peace and goodwill to you, 

sending a massive kundalini hug to all my readers (-: 

Richie aye

Buddhism can be summed up as overcoming the three poisons of Greed, Hatred and Delusion. (These three can also be phrased as worldly-desire, aversion, and ignorance).

Delusion is composed of three things:

1. Lack of information

2. Misinformation

3. and Disinformation

This creates wrong ideas about ourselves and others, about the world and the nature of reality, which gives rise to greed and hatred.

If we allow greed and hatred to flow through us it will increase our delusions. And vice versa, our delusions will increase greed and hatred. Which is why greed, hatred and delusion is often portrayed as three animals chasing each other's tails (see the famous image below), who in their ignorance are perpetually creating the unsatisfactory and painful samsaric existence.

But if we can spot and become aware of greed and hatred as it manifests within us and prevent it from arising, or abandon it ASAP if it does, our fundamental perceptions and attitudes about the world and reality will change. And eventually once one no longer has a trace of greed, hatred or delusion in them that person is then a fully awakened/enlightened being who is no longer generating a samsaric experience; but instead has gone beyond samsara into a state of perpetual freedom known as nibanna, a liberated state of mind that cannot be reversed.

In a nutshell, nibbanna is what the mind becomes when it is no longer fuelled by greed, hatred and delusion. And practising the noble eight-fold path is the training one undertakes to accomplish this goal.

                                            The Wheel of Life.

The image is a famous depiction of samsara called BhavaChakra in Buddhism.
The monster at the top is Yama, the God of death and represents impermanence.
The Buddha on the outside shows that liberation is possible and points to the centre to show the root of the problem.
In the centre, greed is depicted as a rooster, hatred as a snake, and delusion as a pig - they perpetually chase one another's tails and generate karma (represented by the second circle), which in turn generates the six realms of samsara (the third circle).
The outer circle represents the twelve links of dependent origination.