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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Shakespeare used to come to my local. But he was barred.

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Richard Walker

Old Saying

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As Mother always used to say, don’t eat with your mouthful.


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Richard Walker

Night Haiku

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Floating in the pond

Fallen plum blossoms

And the moon

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Richard Walker

Haiku

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Have I told you this before?

It was a joke about time travel.

But you didn't laugh.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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I went to the Doctor, I said, I keep imagining I’m biscuits people have with cheese. He said, you’re crackers.

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Richard Walker

Apples and Pears

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Here is a classic puzzle. I don't know its origin for sure, but I think Martin Gardiner might have published it in his long-standing Scientific American column.

I have three bags and I know one contains apples, one contains pears, and the third both apples and pears.

Each bag is labelled to say what its contents are but unfortunately the labels have got swapped round so all three are wrong.

I am allowed to choose one bag and take out a single fruit. I want to work out what the correct labelling of all the bags should be. How can I do it?




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Richard Walker

Tom Swifty

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“As Presiding Justice, I have counted the number of male persons on the jury, and it seems disproportionally high”, said Tom judgementally. 
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Richard Walker

For Junk

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I can’t get rid of

Junk that whispers “One day”

You’ll need me again”


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Richard Walker

And So It Goes

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After my success as a refrigerator rater I was appointed to evaluate the performance of more junior refrigerator raters, and thus became a refrigerator rater rater.

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Richard Walker

New Job

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I’ve recently got a job rating refrigerators. That makes me a refrigerator rater.

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Richard Walker

Some Silly Languages

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Clockwise from left: Rubbish, Slapstic, Banshi, Ruffian, Zombese.
































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Richard Walker

Lungwort

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I was pleased to see this morning that my lungwort is blooming. I only acquired it last summer and didn't know that it is an early flowering plant.


Lunwort, of which many species exist, has the Latin name pulmonaria and gets both names from the fact that it was traditionally supposed to be good for lung complaints.

The basis of this idea was the doctrine of signatures (see https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/viewpost.php?post=161437 for more on this), which held that for any given disease providence has supplied a natural remedy which can be recognised by its resemblance to an organ affected by the disease. The spotted leaves of lungwort look like a diseased lung, hence the belief that it is good for lung complaints.

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Richard Walker

Knowledge and Doubt

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Everyone thinks they know about stuff

But I don’t think they know enough

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Richard Walker

A Sign Of Spring

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 22 Feb 2022, 15:54

These jonquils are out early!


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Richard Walker

Dad Joke

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What do runners have for breakfast? Joghurt!

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Richard Walker

A Friend Of The Stoned Olive

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Richard Walker

Bears in Residence

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You might like this story about polar bears occupying an abandoned meteorological station

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/31/polar-bears-move-into-abandoned-arctic-weather-station-photo-essay

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Richard Walker

Lapwings

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My brother Simon photographed these attractive little birds. Lapwings used to be much commoner. In England numbers have declined by 80% since 1960.


The bird is also known as the Green Plover, or Peewit from its plaintive cry. These birds nest on the ground, and the name Lapwing seems to come from the bird attracting potential predators away from its nest by dragging its wing to appear an easy target.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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I went on a vintage train excursion with an all-day breakfast thrown in. The Frying Scotsman.

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Richard Walker

Dad Joke

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Would Pa eat yeast extract? No, but Ma might.

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Richard Walker

My Amphibian Pets

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I once had a pet newt who I taught to do things like sit, beg, stay and so on. He really was amazing. Sadly he died eventually and I looked around for another amphibian companion. All I was able to find was a frog, who never showed any warmth towards me and never really learned anything that his predecessor had been able to do. I guess this just shows: you can’t teach a cold frog newt tricks.

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Richard Walker

The First Celandine

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 13 Feb 2022, 22:47

To the ancient Greeks the celandine was the harbinger of Spring. Its name derives from the Greek chelidōn, for Swallow, another sign of Spring. Our Swallows will not be here for a while, but the birds arrive earler in Greece.

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Richard Walker

Wordle

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Permalink 2 comments (latest comment by Richard Walker, Thursday, 10 Feb 2022, 10:37)
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Richard Walker

A Natural Debugger

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 9 Feb 2022, 13:19


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Richard Walker

Civil Weddings

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 6 Feb 2022, 21:13

Civil weddings. They beat rude weddings any day.

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