This world doesn't last
Youth and beauty
Fade so fast
Like fireworks
that go off in the night.
Beautiful for a moment
But soon out of sight.
Forgotten
Even our memories change
Disappear.
In the long descend.
Is it all worth it, in the end?
...
This world doesn't last
Youth and beauty
Fade so fast
Like fireworks
that go off in the night.
Beautiful for a moment
But soon out of sight.
Forgotten
Even our memories change
Disappear.
In the long descend.
Is it all worth it, in the end?
...
Sensations can feel dull in the morning
But a cup of tea helps
I meditate on the perception of light
To brighten the dullness and drowsiness.
Then go for a walk
Sun is shining
Windy
The sea choppy
Splashing over the sea wall
I went into a brief trance watching
The constant state of flux
Always changing, rearranging, never the same.
Later in the day
The weather changed
The wind settled
and the sea was calm
The serene surface reflecting
The sky above with seagull wings
Like a translucent jewel
A massive opal.
But there was movement on the water still
A more refined change
The air quietly whispering gentle patterns on the water's surface.
A happy looking seagull paddles past
Leaving a hypnotic trail of ripples in his wake
They emanate from his being
Across the liquid surface
Towards me.
Beautiful.
Metta.
I sit and meditate on a hill overlooking the bay.
On some dry grass beneath a yew tree in a disused park
Feels like I am sitting in some ancient ruins.
I sit upright and still
Imagine I am the Buddha
Till my foot goes to sleep
And then I laugh at the delusion.
Day turns to night
On this spinning orb in space
That seems perfectly still when you sit on it.
But it is spinning round a huge fiery orb
Which itself is spinning round a black hole.
Like an intergalactic game of snooker.
Is everything spinning?
Am I spinning?
What is everything made of?
These fractals
Energies
Spirals
I become very still.
The breath stops.
And there's what feels like white noise.
Pixels constantly popping in and out of reality.
But where they pop in and out from is like a blank canvas.
An emptiness I can't see beyond.
Every part of the body is like this.
It's everywhere
This background noise
This cosmic vibration
this mysterious white noise
Beneath form
What is it?
-Asoka
Whichever direction thoughts turn there is the poisoned arrow of aversion.
I try to feel serene, but feel overwhelmed with dull fatigue. Blocking thoughts of love, like unwelcome concrete.
Today I failed.
Got stressed. Lost my composure. Wrong thoughts and speech spewed out before I could stop them.
Said things I regret.
I should know better.
The saintly Buddha-self disappeared in a golden wisp. And in its place the arsehole.The self I'd rather not see.
'Śāsana this.' Mara chides rubbing his hands with glee.
The worldly winds sink my little ship.
How to fail well? To fall successfully?
How do I get back to metta?
To the noble shore.
This world so complicated.
I find it hard to understand at times.
I try to navigate the council website to pay the tax; like trying to navigate a hall of mirrors, and when I finally found the right place, the payment was rejected.
Huge energy bills leave huge holes in the bank.
Expensive food and no peanut butter on the shelves.
This human world governed by leaders who support and encourage greed. Who think that it's okay to lie.
To cheat, to steal, to kill.
In some countries they tell you its your duty to kill. To break the precepts.
I yearn to escape.
Long for solitude.
Some peace.
My back hurts.
So tired.
I must abandon this unwholesome state of mind.
I meditate.
A feat of extraordinary endurance that pays off in the end.
The involuntary movements of the mind begin to settle.
The body melts into the sign of air. Into the beautiful sound of coastal breezes outside.The cool light touch of it on the skin.
This stillness feels like bliss.
The joy of an unhindered mind. Where love naturally arises.
- Asoka
Window open just a crack,
Cool air on face and neck.
Warm body under blankets
Breath like the ocean waves.
Sound of traffic slices shapes through the air.
A plane passes overhead like a crackly Thunderbird.
Voices talk in the background and
I imagine I am another animal, and the vocalisations become like the mysterious utterances of another species.
I listen detached.
Breath at the centre of it all.
Even at the very centre of my being.
Which is hollow and empty like an inner cave.
" This I have made up:
Once the Buddha was walking along the
forest path in the Oak Grove at Ojai, walking without
arriving anywhere
or having any thought of arriving or not arriving
and lotuses shining with the morning dew
miraculously appeared under each step
soft as silk under the toes of the Buddha
When suddenly, out of the turquoise sky,
dancing in front of his half-shut inward-looking
eyes, shimmering like a rainbow
or a spider's web
transparent as the dew on a lotus flower
--the Goddess appeared quivering
like a hummingbird in the air before him
She, for she was surely a she
as the Buddha could clearly see
with his eye of discriminating awareness wisdom,
was mostly red in color
though when the light shifted
she flashed like a rainbow
She was naked except
for the usual flower ornaments
Goddesses wear.
Her long hair
was deep blue, her two eyes fathomless pits of space
and her third eye a bloodshot
ring of fire.
The Buddha folded his hands together
and greeted the Goddess thus:
"O Goddess, why are you blocking my path.
Before I saw you I was happily going nowhere.
Now I'm not sure where I want to go."
"You can go around me."
said the Goddess, twirling on her heels like a bird
darting away, "or you can come after me.
This is my forest too,
you can't pretend that I'm not here."
With that the Buddha sat
supple as a snake
solid as a rock
beneath a Bo tree
that had sprang full-leaved
to shade him.
"Perhaps we should have a chat,"
he said.
After years of arduous practice
at the time of the morning star
I penetrated reality, and now..."
"Not so fast, Buddha.
I am reality."
The Earth stood still,
the oceans paused,
the wind itself listened
--a thousand arhats, bodhisattva, and dakinis
magically appeared to hear
what would happen in the conversation.
"I know I take my life in my hands,"
said the Buddha.
"But I am known as the Fearless One
--so here goes."
And he and the Goddess
without further words
exchanged glances.
Light rays like sunbeams
shot forth
so bright that even
Sariputra, the All-Seeing One,
had to turn away.
And then they exchanged thoughts
and the illumination was as bright as a diamond candle.
And then they changed mind
And then there was a great silence as vast as the universe
that contains everything.
And then they exchanged bodies
And clothes
And the Buddha arose
as the Goddess
and the Goddess arose as the Buddha
and so on back and forth
for a hundred thousand hundred thousand kalpas.
If you meet the Buddha
you meet the Goddess,
the Goddess is the Buddha.
And not only that. This:
The Buddha is the Goddess,
the Goddess is the Buddha.
And not only that:This:
The Buddha is emptiness
The Goddess is bliss,
the Goddess is emptiness
the Buddha is bliss.
And that is what
and what-not you are
it's true.
So here comes the mantra of the Goddess and the Buddha, the unsurpassed non-dual mantra, just to say this mantra, just to hear this mantra once, just to hear one word of this mantra once makes everything the way it truly is: OK.
So here it is:
Earth-walker/sky-walker
Hey, silent one, Hey, great talker
Not two/not one
Not separate/Not apart
That is the heart
Bliss is emptiness
Emptiness is bliss.
Be your breath, Ah
Smile, Hey
And relax, Ho
And remember this: You can't miss. "
- Rick Fields, Dharma Gaia, pp.3-7
Cold industrial echoes of the concrete night
Wet and tarmaccy puddles reflect artificial light
Serene raindrops ripple shape the liquid surface
Like this mind full of the noble eight-fold practise.
I walk with dignity
Rapturously
With the clear knowledge
There's no going back for me.
Life can feel dark and harsh
Leaving one gutted like a market fish
Broken like dropped glass.
The lonely cry an ocean of tears
That noone sees, nor hears.
Life is pain
And never again
Will I come back to this world
I'm going to walk away
Unfurled
one day...
Internal combustion broken beyond belief
Opened up the heart but still no relief
Pain, and a feeling of disconnection
Alone, but don't feel like conversation
So me go deep inside
far far within
away from this place
to another space
where I forget who I am
and that's the best
to forget my self.
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