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One Liner

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I went on a novelty trip, “Follow a day in the life of an Amazon driver”. It was a package tour.

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Funny number plate

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DO61 ARF

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Audley End - the kitchen range

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Audley End

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On Saturday went to Audley End in Essex. Very impressive home and parkland x designed I think by capability Brown. Here is the house. More to follow.


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St Patrick and the Snakes

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According to legend, St Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland, which gives rise to one of my favourite jokes.

“What did St Patrick say when he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

“Are ye all right in the back there, Snakes?”

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Origin of a well-known phrase

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On night two dogs were trying to barge open the kitchen door, hoping to get in and steal some food. But the door was too heavy and so they couldn’t open it.

“I know” said one dog, “Let’s ask the cat to help.” 

“What good will that do?” asked the other.

“Well I think we’ll be able to manage it, if Puss comes to shove.”

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Polish Tongue Twister

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Lola loyola

Lola neeyay loyola.

(“Lola is loyal, Lola in not loyal.” I’ve used English spelling which I hope is a reasonable approximation.)

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Spring

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Permalink 1 comment (latest comment by Gill Burrell, Monday, 13 Mar 2023, 20:25)
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Tongue-Twister

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Here's a tongue-twister I made up.

When my over-oiled overalls need overhauling it falls to my overalls overhauler to overhaul my over-oiled overalls.

Permalink 3 comments (latest comment by Richard Walker, Monday, 13 Mar 2023, 18:05)
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My Robin

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Here's my garden robin, obligingly posing for the camera.






Permalink 7 comments (latest comment by David Grinyer, Sunday, 12 Mar 2023, 20:20)
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Astronomy Joke

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What astronomical feat does a barber perform? Eclipse.

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10 Colour Joked

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What colour is the wind? Blue.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot. A carrot.

What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

What colour lets you into your car? Khaki.

What’s blue and not very heavy? Light blue.

What colour makes you feel bunged up? Gold.

What colour might you get in your side? Fawn.

What colour leaves you stranded? Maroon.

What colour marks 0 degrees of longitude? The Greenwich Veridian.

What colour would you paint a bucket? Pale blue.

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Winter Aconites

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These winter aconites were photographed in the grounds of Wimpole Hall.


The plant is a serious poison that can cause cardiac arrest, which I didn't know and which surprised me. Another name for it is 'wolfsbane', apparently because it was once believed to be good for wolf bites. 

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Dad Joke

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What do bakers call zero? Muffin!

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The First Crocuses

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AI Art

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I've been looking at Midjourney, an Artificial Intelligence that can generate images from short phrases or a group of keywords. Here's what it generated for 'The restaurant at the end of the universe'. It only took a few seconds.


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Some Kinds Of Tuit

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The round tuit (that you haven't got one of).

The jump tuit and the hop tuit.

The up tuit (that you don't fee0.

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Dad Joke

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I worked for a while designing cul-de-sacs. But then I realised it was a dead end job.
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Modegreen

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I thought I was buying jellied eels but it turned out to be a special offers on selected jellies.

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Tim's Drink

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 10 Jan 2023, 01:29


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Exlixir of Life

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At last! After decades of toil in my Alchemical Laboratory, I have found the Elixir of Life.

Turns out to be a thin watery soup, which I’ve named The Holy Gruel.

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Vicious Circle

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 5 Jan 2023, 17:53


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AI Generated Joke

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ChatGTP, an online AI engine, came up with this, which is not bad

Why did the cat join the Red Cross? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

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The Ice World

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Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.

Robert Frost, Fire and Ice
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44263/fire-and-ice

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Some Anglo-Saxon Fruits

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Cirse

Peru

Plume

Winberge

Æppel

Blækberie

EhoÞberge



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