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Richard Walker

Meet the Mondegreens

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A mondegreen is where a phrase is misheard and interpreted as something which sounds more or less the same, but is actually quite different from what was actually said.

For example, a speaker might say "What's that toy left on the chair?" and a listener think they said "What's that toilet on the chair?" This is a real example that occurred today, I haven't made it up.

This kind of linguistic error was first called a mondegreen by Sylvia Wright, who wrote that as a child she heard the first verse of a Scots ballad as

Ye Highlands and ye Lowlands,
Oh, where hae ye been?
They hae slain the Earl o' Moray,
And Lady Mondegreen.

Only later did she realize that there was no lady Modegreen. The Earl was the sole victim, and they laid him on the green.

Well-know mondegreens include

"Gladly the cross-eyed bear" for "Gladly the cross I'd bear".

"Good Mrs Murphy" for "Goodness and mercy".

"Me ears are alight" for "The Israelite".

One that a friend told me was the "Potato clock". Whatever is a potato clock? Well, "We need to get a potato clock". Better set the alarm then!

Mondegreens have attracted the attention of psychologists. In The Language Instinct Steve Pinker pointed out that the interesting fact that what the listener hears is often considerably less likely than the intended version. My examples of the toilet on the chair and the potato clock certainly have this property. Pinker interprets this as evidence that we hear what our auditory systems tells us (even though it's an unlikely meaning), not necessarily what makes sense in the context.

I wondered if I could systematically generate some mondegreens and hit upon the idea of reading verse to my dictation software. The latter must try to match sounds to stored words, using some kind of "goodness of fit rule, and I'm pretty sure it will also take into account what words are the most likely ones to follow a given word. I don't think it has a model of the world though, so what it recognizes should fit together plausibly as a word sequence, but might not mean the same as what I actually said.

And sure enough it came up with some modegreens. Here are a couple that amused me. See if you can spot the originals!

"Good thing which this last looked out."

"A poor player structure in French is out upon the stage."



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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Went round Paris in a coach. The guide was like, "Yak, yak, yak". What an earful tour.

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Richard Walker

I Say I Say I Say

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– Someone called Pam was giving away cake with cherries in

– Genoa?

– No, she was a stranger

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Richard Walker

An Anglo-Saxon Nursery Rhyme

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I think some nursery rhymes go back that far, they have that feel.

I tried to do a back-translation of two lines from one of my favorites. See what you think. Can you work it out?

Cyning in goldhord atellith

Cwen in rum cambe aitest.

And I like that a lot as a little poem.

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Richard Walker

Cleopatra's One Liner

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Our dynasty couldn't afford to own our own snake. But we aspired to rent one.

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Richard Walker

My One Liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 24 Dec 2015, 00:36

I couldn't conform.

I couldn't shape up as a prisoner.

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Richard Walker

Where I Grew Up

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We never wrote poems. It could get you killed, and we were risk-averse.

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Richard Walker

Winter Moon Haiku

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Winter moon

Rips up the clouds

My love please help me mend them.

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Richard Walker

The Bargain: A Poem

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As you looked into my eyes
I think you knew I told you lies.
And I, looking at your mouth
Wished to believe you told me truth.

But facing loneliness again,
We struck a bargain all the same.




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Richard Walker

Where I Grew Up

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Hardly any families had scruples. Any neighbor needed a screw pulled, they came right round to us.

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Richard Walker

Educating Rita and Macbeth

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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 21 Dec 2015, 04:42

I was recently reminded about Educating Rita, a play and film which present education as a journey of self-discovery.

Watching the film anew, I got to where OU student Rita (Julie Walters) gatecrashes alcoholic lecturer Frank (Michael Caine's) seminar on tragedy, because she's just seen a performance of Macbeth, and has been blown away by it.

The literary sense of tragedy, Frank explains, is a great person brought down by a character defect, not just the popular meaning.

Rita's response is something like, "I don't understand all that. It's just such a great story!"

At this point Macbeth jumped in. I forgot about all educating Rita and straightaway watched a couple of film versions of the Scottish play.

The first was the 1978 version with Ian McKellen and Judi Dench. There have been many films of the play but this may have set a gold standard.

The second was from 2010, with Patrick Stewart and Kate Fleetwood. I'd never seen this version before but found it astonishing and compelling. It's set, not in medieval Scotland, but in some 20-centrury totalitarian country, a sort of Stalin's Scottish Soviet Union. Sometimes new settings for plays don't work, but this one succeeds brilliantly.

Macbeth is a somber play, and Macbeth's last soliloquy unrivaled in its bleak despair. I decided I would learn by heart it, though, to add it to the few bits of Shakespeare I know. Here's my test, do I have it right?

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day.
Until the last syllable of recorded time.

And all our yesterdays
Light fools the dusty way to death.

Out, out brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage.
And then is heard no more.

A tale, told by an idiot,
Full of sound and fury.
Signifying nothing.

On YouTube you can find an interesting clip in which Ian McKellen analyses this soliloquy, from the point of view of the actor. The audience should hear it as though for the first time. There is also a clip in which Patrick Stewart explains how Ian McKellen advised him that... it's "Tomorrow AND tomorrow AND tomorrow" — the tragic sense of time.

I think Patrick Stewart captures it well.


Frank, Rita and Shakespeare each had their own idea of tragedy. One of its classical qualities is that the downfallen character come to a realization, something learned, and this is perhaps Macbeth's education. It is a pessimistic vision, but I find it noble that human beings can stare eternity in the face.



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Richard Walker

Forgetfulness

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I went upstairs for a reason

But I only came down with a poem.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Where I grew up all the families fought one another. Ours was at the bottom of the feud chain.

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Richard Walker

Daily Argos Front Page

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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 18 Dec 2015, 00:32

AGAMEMNON DEAD

Destroy Troy Boy in Wife Knife Life Drama

Experts say daughter slaughter may "be contributory factor"


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Richard Walker

One Liner

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The price of balloons has shot up. Inflation.

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Richard Walker

About an Ology

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 17 Dec 2015, 00:32
The prof asked "What's a tautology?"

I was like, "You tell me, you're teaching it dude."
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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 16 Dec 2015, 21:15

The meek shall inherit the earth. Subject to probate.

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Richard Walker

Arboreal Daffynitions

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 15 Dec 2015, 19:15
Ash = illegal substance

Beech = cast aspersions

Birch = landing spot for birds

Elder = hugs

Elm = nautical steering wheel

English oak = tradition summer weather

Fir = distant

Maple = tonight could be the night

Plane = youthful self-entertainment

Poplar = liked

Rowan = means of boat propulsion

Sycamore = perverse love

Willow = delayed payment

Yew = pronoun

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Richard Walker

Short One Liner

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Bondage. 87?

(Think about it)

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Richard Walker

"At the Mineralogist's Ball"

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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 14 Dec 2015, 16:44
The Hammonds with their daughter Di.
Mr and Mrs Stone and their Gaelic sons Liam and Sandy.
The Hite clan, accompanied by their grandmother, daughters Flora and Pearl, and Graf Hite, a cousin belonging to the German nobility.
Mr and Mrs Bester and their posh daughter Ali.
The Herald family and their daughter Em.
The Fists and their daughter Amy.
The Bedenham family with their daughter Molly.
Mr and Mrs Carr, their son Mike and daughter Cilla.
The Coise family and son Dirk.
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Richard Walker

Survival Haiku

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Year's end —
If I survive a few more of them

I'll have worn a rut in the lane.

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Richard Walker

The Difference Between a Dog and a Dogma

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A dog is love without bounds but a dogma is belief without grounds.


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Richard Walker

Three terrific tongue twisters

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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 11 Dec 2015, 01:49

As I stumbled along the beach of life I came across an accidental tongue-twister, a sort of object trouvé, like the pebbles beachcombers collect.

Every day the Times of London has a Quick Cryptic Crossword.

Try saying the phrase out loud 10 times in rapid succession.

I've always adored tongue-twisters. My favorite is one I heard many years back on the radio. I don't know who invented it but I'm very grateful to them. It comes with a little backdrop story.

The late Queen Mother was going round a saucepan factory. Pausing by a workman she asked what he was doing, which lead to the following noblesse oblige conversation:

"Are you aluminiuming them my man?" "No, I'm copper-bottoming 'em Mum."

I've often wondered whether there is a theory of tongue-twisters. Could a computer design phenomenally hard ones? There must be some kind of analysis possible that would let us understand what makes a phrase hard to say repeatedly.

Step forward MIT. In 2013 a research team collected and analyzed a collection of speech errors made by experimental subjects. Based on this they devised a fiendishly difficult tongue-twister. Are you ready? Do you want to fetch a glass of water for safety's sake? OK here we go.

pad kid poured curd pulled cod

Call that tongue-twisting? Feeble, isn't it?

Science, successful in so many ways, flunked here. And commentators were too lazy to say so — or couldn't — or wouldn't.

In contrast, here is a real killer I was taught by a Polish friend. For background, Lola is a woman's name; loyola means 'is loyal'; 'nie' pronounced 'knee-ay' means not. But the meaning doesn't matter really. Just remember how 'nie' should be said. 10 times out loud remember.

Lola loyola. Lola nie loyola.

The word tongue-twister is fairly recent it seems. The Oxford English Dictionary only records it from 1898, and in 1904 the Speaker offered this, which ain't bad

Miss Smith's fish-sauce shop

Favorite tongue-twisters anybody?

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 10 Dec 2015, 11:21

He told me he was a futures trader. I was like wow, yes let's swap.

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Richard Walker

The Magnetism Of Light

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Each night
I glimpse a gable light
And so I come
Safe home.
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