What do you call your mum’s angry French sister? A croiss aunt
My friend found a fish who thought she was a radio. It was a nightmare to tune- a!
What do you call a cold you get twice? A De ja-flu
Which country’s capital is the fastest growing?
Ireland- every year it’s Dublin !
The police came to my house and asked me where I was between 3 and 5. I told them I was at Pre school
My son’s maths teacher called him average. I think he’s mean
Started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven’t had a gig yet.
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s five years in a row now!
What do you call a group of whales on a TV show?
A pod cast
Who is the greatest chicken -killer in Shakespeare?
Macbeth because he did murder most foul!
My boss said I needed a pay rise - I said that three other companies were after me. He said “Which ones?“ I replied “The electricity, gas and the water”
Did you hear about the computer that got thrown into the ocean? Now there’s A-Dell rolling in the deep!
I answered the door this morning and a 6 foot beetle punched me. Apparently there’s a nasty bug going round!
* Have You heard the joke about Covid 19?
If I tell you you might spread it!
Dad jokes by Kit&Andrew Chilvers
* unknown source