I had a terrible dream in which I was a cocktail made by incompetent bar staff. Woke up feeling badly shaken.
Personal Blogs
We were doing a crossword at the bar and someone said “Alarm a relative”.
I though what can that mean? I had this vision of frightening aged aunts or something like that. But the answer turned out to be “alpaca”.
For more Mondegreens visit
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MondegreenI was fascinated to read that researchers have succeeded in sequencing the genome of a man from Pompeii who died in the AD 79 eruption of Vesuvius. There is a really good article at
His genome was similar to that of others living in Italy at the time but with some genes shared by people in modern Sardinia. The authors of the original part commented “Further ancient genomes from Pompeii could help to reconstruct the genetic history of an ancient Roman city frozen in time.”
That’s the fascination of Pompeii: it’s a time capsule. And this research is a new window into it.
I loved you more than worms can say.
I never saw this until today, but it seems to have been going the rounds for some years and generated a lot of discussion. Googling the first phrase gets over 2 million hits.
A man buys a horse for £60 and sells it for £70. He then repurchases for £80, and sells it for £90.
Has he gained or lost, if so by how much? Or has he broken even?
Sometimes it’s a goat or a pig etc.
9 students and 9 professors attend a dinner at which they sit at a round table. The organisers wish to arrange the seating so that no one is seated between two professors. Is this possible to meet this condition?
Solution: Imagine we have found an arrangement that meets the conditions. Ask every other person to stand up, so 9 people will be standing. Then we cannot have two professors separated by only a single seated person, otherwise that person would be flanked by professors. But this means only 4 of the 9 standing persons can be professors.
However the same reasoning can be applied to the 9 people who are sitting down, so we can only accommodate 8 professors altogether, leaving one professor unaccounted for.
Consequentially no arrangement can exist that meets the given condition.
Snow and ice
Isn’t nice.
At the Karma Restaurant we serve just desserts.
9 students and 9 professors attend a dinner at which they sit at a round table. The organisers wish to arrange the seating so that no one is seated between two professors. Is this possible?
… and this is what I got
I managed to get an exclusive story about ice cream. It was a scoop.
My mate was very skinny. We called him Finn.
Two herrings walked into a bar. Well, they got kippered.
What follows Fryday? Fatterday.
For several hours there has been almost no wind in my garden, the wind speed is effectively 0 km/h.
I think this must be quite unusual, although the Hairy Ball Theorem tells us that there must always be a point on the earth where the wind isn't blowing at any given moment.
I had a nasty Gold. Azure I went. So I Blue by dose.
Well, they got battered.
What do you call a man wearing two raincoats?
Max.
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